Real life money moral dilemma

SavingPennies_2

I understand your frustration but no doubt there are underlying issues in your relationship.

It seems unlikely he will pay this money back, £200 is not a huge amout, although I understand it is also the principle and your mother is not well off.

It is also possible that you want this money repaid more than she does.

So...Id let it go and try not to dwell on it, hard as that is, and advise your mother not to lend them any more money, ever.

itsanne

Unless your mother has asked you to interfere (and actually asked, not you saying "Would you like if I . . .), you should just leave it be. £200 three years ago is not a huge amount in the grand scheme of things, certainly not worth causing a rift over.

Unless your sister made a habit of borrowing from your mother and not paying back, it's not any sort of problem. If your mother is struggling because of unexpected bills, you could mention that to your sister in the hope that she would volunteer to pay back or help. Or you could take the moral high ground and help her out .

big_mortgage

Well thanks, there seems to be a consensus there, so I shall leave alone.

Kynthia

How would you react if your sister got involved with a long running issue between you and your mum? Not well I would imagine, as I certainly wouldn't. I can't see it going favourably and most likely result in a row or upset. It's hard when you see your mum being taken advantage of but it really is best to leave it be.

Mr_Toad

And people wonder why a family can be such a poisonous environment. This is between your sister and your mum, nothing to do with you.

Or perhaps you view this as an opportunity to get some payback for something else your sister did.

Let it go, life is too short.

kerri_dfw

Would you expect your sister to have a word with your other half over an argument with your mother? I doubt it. This is between your Mum and your sister, leave well alone.

big_mortgage

OK well thanks again. I dont see it as an opportunity to 'get back' for anything.

I just wish they had more thought, and cared enough to repay it.

I will leave well alone.

j.e.j.

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It's a mere two hundred quid for goodness sake, not twenty grand.....

Well, true, but the person who lent it needs the money back.

big_mortgage wrote: »

OK well thanks again. I dont see it as an opportunity to 'get back' for anything.

I just wish they had more thought, and cared enough to repay it.

I will leave well alone.

There's nothing to stop you giving your opinion, either to your sister or the boyfriend. If you feel that strongly about it you can speak to them.

Sadly this sort of thing happens a lot. It's getting to the stage now where you think to yourself never lend money (or anything, for that matter) unless you're prepared never to see it again.

Gra76

If there's one thing I've learnt over the years it's that trying to be a mediator between family members where money is concerned is nothing but a headache as you have to take sides.

If it's anything like the hassle I've had in the past it'll involve your sister telling you to keep your nose out. She'll focus on you as the instigator of an arguement (which is what it leads to if she can't or wont pay it back) and you'll get the blame for causing a rift in the family.

I've been there.

What started out as me trying to help my mum out (over a 4 figure sum she lent to my brother to buy a car with) turned into a huge arguement between me and my brother, and my mum and my brother. It went on for weeks and my brother refused to talk to me for months afterwards. Even now, years down the line he brings it up sometimes.

I'd try not to get yourself too involved but would be pushing your mum into asking for the money back herself and being stronger about it.

P.S My brother still owes my mum nearly half the money but she's given up on ever getting it back.