CSA ....an (absent) and bitter Dads point of view

Philtimo

I was looking around the web looking at when my CSA payments to my ex will cease, and I found this site.
A quick tertiary glimpse is all that is needed to see that it is mainly Mums that are near panic stricken over their monthly windfall ceasing.
Without looking too deeply, one person was saying that it is LUDICROUS that her beer money stops when her daughter goes to University, and the poor bloke should carry on paying money to HER (not the daughter) because,,,,,,,,, 'she will come home on long breaks'. That just about sums the CSA up.

I have been paying CSA since the CSA started, for two children. Before you rant on that that's not possible..

The first was 3 in 1990, and I was divorced just before the CSA started. As soon as the CSA began, my payments went up from £108pm by court order, to £300 through the CSA. I was now remarried and the strain it put on wife number 2 was unreal, as she was working for not much more than I was dobbig out to the CSA.
Then my wife fell pregnant.
Then my ex wife had another sproglet and my CSA payments went up!
She went onto have three more kids and each time my contributions went up, ending at £400 - 50% of my total wage.
(that's how the CSA used to work, I know its different now)

This broke the back of my 2nd marriage, and we split, leaving me with two parasites fighting for every last bit of my 'disposable income'.

I have been paying Maintenance / CSA for a total of 23 years, and it will cease the day my daughter walks into University.

There will not be one more penny coming from me. I have a fund set up for her 21st, and I will continue to pay that.

To all you mums worrying about how you are going to manage...... You have the same choices I have had...

1. Earn more
2. Spend Less
or
3, Go under.

Welcome to the real world.

martinthebandit

Aye its grim having to support your own kids

shoe*diva79

You were not 'dobbing to the CSA'..... You were making a financial contribution to the costly upbringing of your children.

I wonder how your children feel you calling their mothers, the women I assume you once loved' parasites.

Your a right catch!

Philtimo

martinthebandit wrote: »

Aye its grim having to support your own kids

To the tune of 50% of your pay? Give me a break.
The CSA wasn't brought in for the people who paid a reasonable amount decreed by a court, it was brought in to lower the benefits bill.

They went for the easy targets, Forces, Police etc. And my, did they get us.

It has nothing at all to do with supporting your kids.

Philtimo

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

You were not 'dobbing to the CSA'..... You were making a financial contribution to the costly upbringing of your children.

I wonder how your children feel you calling their mothers, the women I assume you once loved' parasites.

Your a right catch!

I'm not here to be caught.

My ex's know what they are

martinthebandit

Philtimo wrote: »

To the tune of 50% of your pay? Give me a break.
The CSA wasn't brought in for the people who paid a reasonable amount decreed by a court, it was brought in to lower the benefits bill.

They went for the easy targets, Forces, Police etc. And my, did they get us.

It has nothing at all to do with supporting your kids.

Really half your pay supporting your kids? why that's unbelievable, I am sure we would all happily pay more in tax to support your kids, after all we have plenty of money left over after we have supported or own families.

swingaloo

Philtimo wrote: »

I'm not here to be caught.

My ex's know what they are

Yes they are the woman left coping day to day financially and emotionally bringing up your children.

Philtimo

martinthebandit wrote: »

Really half your pay supporting your kids? why that's unbelievable, I am sure we would all happily pay more in tax to support your kids, after all we have plenty of money left over after we have supported or own families.

I didn't expect anyone else to pay for my kids.

.....Just the mothers and I.

Unfortunately, the mothers didn't fancy going out to work, as having more kids is more fun...... so it then became my duty to pay their share.

Whatever uninformed dung you come up with I will have a logical answer.

Philtimo

swingaloo wrote: »

Yes they are the woman left coping day to day financially and emotionally bringing up your children.

Coping day to day?...... how about getting pregnant and having more kids for me to support, while they both sat at home on benefits? Is that fair?

Emotions of bringing my son up ceased when he was 16, and she sent him to live with me. Odd that, isn't it.

nearlyrich

My ex paid £60 a month when he could be bothered he actually got more in cash from the equity split than he ever paid for the children and all the equity was accrued by me paying the mortgage when he left. Am I bitter ? not at all I have a great life two lovely young adults who know who did what ( not that I have said anything ever about their dad and his none contribution) Not all women are parasites I have earned loads more than my ex over the years and didn't really miss him or his grudgingly paid support for our two children.

swingaloo

But you wont have been paying to support someone elses kids if she got pregnant again. that would be down to the other father.

To be fair you said you were paying 108 by court order till the CSA got involved. Do you seriously think that that keeps a roof over a childs head.