OS Daily Thread Saturday 12th October 2013

Butterfly_Brain

Ruby grief hits everyone in different ways, don't knock yourself out about it. You may find that it will hit you at the funeral, on his birthday, Christmas or the first year anniversary ((((Hugs))))

Had to spend out money on the car this morning, DH was having big problems starting it, so he has replaced the oil filter, diesel filter (which was falling apart) and air filter, he is doing an oil change at the moment and will top up the anti freeze and screen wash while he is at it, plus he needs to get a new part for the steering wheel column on Monday.
Cost so far £35 if we had put it into a garage it would probably cost in the region of £250 + with labour and VAT :eek:
He loves his car and will be heartbroken if it ever gives up the ghost on him. It is nearly 21 years old now and has been a great little car. Four more years and it will be a classic just like me;):rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Hilly you really have had a bad year bless you, I hope that you start to feel better soon x

BFN x

elona

Redruby

I am so sorry about your father but glad he had those he loved around him.

Hilstep

Hug - sounds as if you are having enough health and accidents to last you for the next year. Hope once you recover that fate decides you have had enough to cope with and gives you a rest/

Went to butcher and got a shoulder of lamb for tomorrow so I can try a Jamie O' recipe. Also bought lamb mince so might make home made burger and rolls with salad for tonight.

DH has his last radiotherapy treatment on Monday :j and dd making him a cheesecake to celebrate so going shopping for ingredients this afternoon and hunting out bargains if I can get any.

Kitchen has been sorted, floor and worktops washed and sinks bleached and tops decluttered so I have space to cook.

Hugs to all

NoahsPennilessMummy

Good afternoon:D

Just back from Noah's autism youth club. Wet and windy dark day, he has already changed into his pyjamas and is snuggled on sofa with Xmas lights on watching tv with a duvet to snuggle into.
I think Mr NPM and I will be doing the same when he gets in at about 2pm:rotfl:

All still coming round from the cold that's doing the rounds.
Asher playing on her mat for 5 mins before I try her with lunch.

Tea tonight is egg, chips and beans we were supposed to have last night....ended up with a cheeky take away
Going to watch " One Day " with DH tonight and have a snuggle ....been a stressful week and glad it's over.
Too many meetings to do with Noah's transition and as I have aspergers myself it's difficult for me to manage these meetings .....I am so focused on my eye contact and if its too much or too little that I miss the conversation:eek:

Off to feed mrs milks
Have good days all

Loulou2010

redruby wrote: »

Morning all,

Thank you so much for all the good wishes, hugs amd Pm's it does mean such a lot. I dont feel like I thought I would do, I am devestated that he's gone but apart from the day he died I have not cried much, I am obviously deeply upset but not weeping and wailing its as if i am in some kind of parallel life, sorry that probably sounds really weird, but I am struggling to understand it myself, I keep thinking perhaps it will hit me at some point.

Having said that we have been grieving for a long time so I am wondering if that has anything to do with it ? anyone had any experience of losing some one to dementia ? Is what i am feeling normal ?

xx

When hubby's grandad
Passed away there was almost a sense of relief. An end to his suffering. The grandad he knew and loved had gone long before

Time_to_face_the_music

redruby wrote: »

Morning all,

Thank you so much for all the good wishes, hugs amd Pm's it does mean such a lot. I dont feel like I thought I would do, I am devestated that he's gone but apart from the day he died I have not cried much, I am obviously deeply upset but not weeping and wailing its as if i am in some kind of parallel life, sorry that probably sounds really weird, but I am struggling to understand it myself, I keep thinking perhaps it will hit me at some point.

Having said that we have been grieving for a long time so I am wondering if that has anything to do with it ? anyone had any experience of losing some one to dementia ? Is what i am feeling normal ?

xx

Loulou2010 wrote: »

When hubby's grandad
Passed away there was almost a sense of relief. An end to his suffering. The grandad he knew and loved had gone long before

Redruby - I can only echo what Loulou has said. We lost my grandmother after 12 years of dementia spent in so many care homes and hospitals that we lost count. I did not grieve for her in the same way as I did for other family lost, as I felt like I had lost her so many years before. I felt guilty for feeling like this but having discussed it with other members of the family, many of us felt the same.

Before her funeral the minister came to see us and asked us to tell him about her, we told him about our old gran, the one we loved and idolised and he converted this information into the most beautiful service full of memories of an amazing woman who fought abject poverty and a cruel first husband to raise 6 amazing children and go on to have 14 grandchildren, 11 great grandchildren and one great great grandchild at the time she died.

We cried and we laughed and then we celebrated her life. I hope you and your family can do the same for your dad.

Love and hugs
TTFTM x

Hard_Up_Hester

I was knee deep in an acrimonious divorce when my Dad died so I didn't grieve, two years later I went to the funeral in the same church of someone I hardly, I really struggled to control myself as the death of my Dad finally hit me. Take your time RR and be kind to your self.
Hester

hilstep2000

Thank you to everyone for their support.
Love to Redruby xxx

markdebby

Has anyone heard from Halight? He has not been on the forum for about a month.
Sylvia

mrsmortenharket

Redbuby, lots of love to you xxxxx

Hillstep, my goodness. Rest up & take it easy xxxx

Small Child went to his first birthday party today. Class child was 5 & it was in one of those fun factory places. I had to go on the equipment with him. My goodness. A nearly 40 year old Should Not go down Very Fast Slides. Think my heart is still at the top. Small Child coped very well at the party.

We had torrential rain yesterday. The conservatory started leaking. I sorted that with a towel. Then dh got up this morning & the utility room has a leak. Will need to get someone in to reseal the uPvc.

I need to rein in my shopping spends again. I do menu plan but prices are rising & rising. I spent £40 in sainsburys this morning. Didn't have much to show for it. Although I did have a few treats. My goodness though, we are not on the breadline & we have to watch the pennies so I can't imagine what it's like for those who are. Not to mention the utility bills.

Take care all

Love, hugs & spoons

Xxx

System

Redruby as others said, people grieve in different ways. When my Father died I didn't shed one single tear. Not only was it such a shock, my daughter had died 4 months previously and I felt all cried out. Also, my Mother was beside herself with grief and although the majority of the funeral arrangements was handled by me she kept threatening to kill herself and take my 14 year old brother with her. I was 4 months pregnant with my eldest son too. That doesn't mean I didn't love him, or miss him even to this day. I had to stay strong for all of us.

Despite today starting off rather badly it didn't end up too badly. We went to Bidford and had a little wander round. We visited Sandymere beach. Popped into the Atlantic Village. They have a M&S outlet which kept me busy for a time. Hubby treated me to a vastly reduced fuchsia pink boyfriend cardigan and a pair of ankle boots. The weather had brightened up considerably and wind had died down.

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring but hubby is determined to stick it out until Monday.

Right, I am off to bed. Not to sleep but at this time of night I leave hubby to watch telly and take my phone and earphones to bed with me and listen to my music until I get sleepy. Last night hubby joined me. He watched telly and I listened to my music through my headphones and played with my phone. :-)

Have a good evening all,