Getting your paws on your OHs pension/retirement plan after divorce

margaretclare

dshart wrote: »

Mind you it makes me think how many women said "obey" in their marriage vows, and whether them disobeying their husband could be classed as a breach of contract.

I think it has been a long time since there was a requirement to say 'obey'. It was in the 1920s that the marriage service was updated and I think, after that 'obey' was optional. I was married for the first time in 1957 and I never said it.

seven-day-weekend

ognum wrote: »

Like all jobs I guess it depends how hard you work at it!!!!!

Well it doesn't actually take long to make the beds, feed the cat and whip the hoover round, does it? Unless you live in a mansion. Even the days you have to stick the washing machine on, it won't take more than a couple of hours.

Although I suppose you COULD spend all day cleaning, but that's overkill.

Pollycat

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I actually do not think being a 'housewife' is hard work and never have done.

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Well it doesn't actually take long to make the beds, feed the cat and whip the hoover round, does it? Unless you live in a mansion. Even the days you have to stick the washing machine on, it won't take more than a couple of hours.

Although I suppose you COULD spend all day cleaning, but that's overkill.

I think the post below gives a little insight that being a stay-at-home-parent isn't just about housework:

borkid wrote: »

But it's not just housework is it? I used to be the taxi service, take the car to the garage , collect/ do any other little things he needed doing, all the phone calls, all the paperwork and accounts, all the present buying posting for his family, all the waiting in for deliveries, all the gardening, looking after sick children ( they seem to get everything going in the first year at school), made the childrens' clothes.

seven-day-weekend

^^^If that person was doing 'all the paperwork and accounts' then they were not just a housewife, were they? They were helping to run a business.

Pollycat

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

^^^If that person was doing 'all the paperwork and accounts' then they were not just a housewife, were they? They were helping to run a business.

Maybe the poster meant household paperwork and accounts, not business.

bigadaj

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe the poster meant household paperwork and accounts, not business.

Well that going to take what, a couple of hours a month.

That lost is mainly made up of things that people would do at weekends or evenings anyway, though fair play to them if they really were making the kids clothes, that would be time consuming!

seven-day-weekend

bigadaj wrote: »

Well that going to take what, a couple of hours a month.

That lost is mainly made up of things that people would do at weekends or evenings anyway, though fair play to them if they really were making the kids clothes, that would be time consuming!

I agree, I have always done the household paperwork and accounts, even when I was working full time, a couple of hours at the weekend and that's it .

Respect to them for making the children's clothes though .

mania112

1) Don't get married
2) Don't get divorced
3) Unless your spouse has more money than you.

atush

Always get married, esp if you have children. It is tax efficient, and carries more protection or the children.

MGCP

The only reason I have the money available that I currently do to put into a pension is because my wife has dropped down to part time. Of the money we have "spare" we decide between us how it gets allocated, what goes into an ISA, what goes into stocks and shares, what goes into my pension. These are all joint decisions and of course would all need to be considered if we ever split up.

If one partner stays at home and the other feels hard done by then discuss it, there are all sorts of other options. Perhaps both go part time, both go full time and pay for help, whatever works.

Don't spend 20 years fuming about it, divorce and then try to keep your assets to yourself claiming you always thought your partner wasn't contributing enough to the marriage. What sort of a git would do that!