Anyone with experience of dealing with childhood anxiety?

Miss_J

Quick run down:

My oldest child, aged 11 has just changed school to Secondary. She was really excited about it and so far still seems to enjoy it.

Now last Friday she started complaining of stomach pains and when I accidently woke her she woke up still complaining of stomach pains. She's had no other symptoms other than the stomach pains, we took her to the doctor on Monday when symptoms persisted and they suggested gastroenteritis or UTI. She went back to school on Tuesday and by lunchtime they called to say she was unwell and needed to go home. Yesterday she didn't go back and today started crying saying her tummy was sore.

A few other things have been happening which makes me think it is related to anxiety. She's quite a sensitive child. On the 2nd week of school a former 'friend" punched her in the face at school, the 'friend' claimed it was an accident, but understandably my child was upset. Some of the children at school have been asking her why she's said she was punched when it was an accident, as the school got involved. When I dropped her off at a club last week I noticed that some of the girls made a big fuss of her friend but totally ignored her. She does have a strong friendship base who have stood by her but I know other girls have been gossiping about the episode. Last night she got so upset about a peice of homework, really hysterical saying she was going to get into trouble because it wasn't done. When chatting to her she says, she has a really sore stomach and feels sick but equally admitted that she's worried about the standard of homework she's expected to turn in, worried about people liking her and worried about this girl doing something else to her.

I really don't know where to go with this, I was thinking of taking her back to the doctors but my husband is worried that they'll try to put her on medication and I really don't want her labelled with any tag. It could even be an actual cause behind these symptoms but just wondered if anyone else had had similar experiences.

Alikay

Anxiety very often causes tummy aches in children, and your description of the last week makes it seem likely, especially as you've had your DD checked out by the GP.

Have you spoken to the school about it? Most schools have a "go to" person for these sort of problems, especially during the settling-in period in year 7 and they may be able to suggest some ways to help her.

There are also books you could get about building resilience in children which can give some useful tips for sensitive kids who don't shrug off knocks quite as easily as their more robust peers. There are articles out on the internet which may be worth a read too. Two of my children were a bit like your DD and took it all to heart when other kids were unkind, and we found the best thing was for them to join a club such as scouts or cadets so if things ever went wrong at school (and they will....5 to 7 years is a long time!) there's another bunch of friends who can help take their mind off it all.

Miss_J

Thanks Alikay.

After the 'punching' episode I spoke to her guidance tutor, a non teaching member of staff and they were quite good about the episode and I did mention then that she was quite a sensitive child but I haven't approached them with this episode.

I have made another appointment with the GP this afternoon with a good GP who I think will be good with her if it is a stress thing rather than a physical thing. I even talked to my daughter last night and we discussed how stress and anxiety can present with real physical symptoms.

I've encouraged her to get involved in new school clubs and was really pleased when she joined Hockey, Trampolining and Chinese.

I'm hoping the GP can help her in feeling better and suggesting coping mechanisms for her.

Alikay

Just be a bit careful that you don't make too much of it with the GP and school at this stage, as she'll pick up on it and worry more . Secondary school can be tough at times, and a resilient child will cope with it much more easily.

claire16c

My sister had an anxiety problem about school at a slightly younger age. She was sick every morning! My mum took her to the gp who referred her to a hypnotherapist, it actually worked. Whether or not it was a placebo effect my mum didn't care! I don't think the gp even considered drugs.

tattycath

I was bullied and picked on at school.i suffered upset stomach on many occasions. The Dr sent me to see a specialist at the hospital. He said I had a 'nervous stomach'.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Ok - back up a little...what action did you take about the punching incident?

meeps

would a little safe 'medicine' help her feel like its being dealt with, and maybe help calm/relax her enough to ease the stomach pains?

http://www.bachflower.com/bach-flower-rescue-remedy-children-kids/

Lunar_Eclipse

Another thought: could it be hormone/pre-menstrual cycle related?

You didn't say whether your daughter has started her periods, but it could be related to that either way. DD1 had random stomach pains for the 2-3 months before starting hers, which I strongly believe were cycle related.

z.n

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Another thought: could it be hormone/pre-menstrual cycle related?

You didn't say whether your daughter has started her periods, but it could be related to that either way. DD1 had random stomach pains for the 2-3 months before starting hers, which I strongly believe were cycle related.

Second this.

MATUREMUM

Hi Miss j
have just read your story and i hope the info i can give you helps.
i recently helped a friends son back to school with anxiety.

First, it is a good idea to check with the doctor that there is no underlying medical condition that is causing any of the symptoms.
I, personally, would avoid medication for anxiety.
Next, inform the school how your child is suffering. dont just phone them, go to see the head of year and explain, and make sure they make all staff aware of your daughters issues.
Schools normally have a SENCO worker that you could talk to as well.
Ask the school, and/or doctor if your daughter can be referred to childrens services for help, if her anxiety is causing her a lot of problems (time off school etc.). They have many strategies that could help your daughter cope.
Talk to your daughter, and listen to what is bothering her. If, for example, the homework is an issue, talk to the school to see what can be done about it - longer deadlines, extra help etc.
Anxiety is a real illness and can cause many symptoms such as pains, feeling sick, dizziness etc. While you dont want to make a huge issue of it, take it seriously and put some strategies in place for your daughter. The most important thing is to talk to her, listen to her, and make sure she knows you believe her and will support her.
There are many strategies that you can put in place with the help of the school/doctor/counsellors/childrens services.
Breathing exercises are very good for anxiety.
Please deal with the bullying/punching etc. Talk to your child, inform the school, and the other girls parents if you know them and can approach them.
remember, your daughter is entitled to a good education and the school has to help you to provide that whatever her difficulties, be proactive and ask for help.
It can be a frightening thing, starting at secondary school.
Hope this helps a bit.
Good luck, and love to you and your daughter
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