F@$ k me any help

virtuallyfree

This will be an emotional time.
You can only be a family if he wants it too.
Write down what it is that you want today, next week, next month and next year.
With the children not around, sit down for a talk.
Tell him your wishes.
Get him to tell you his.
If they match then restart your marriage.
If not, then ask him to move out asap.
Do not emotionally involve the children but explain to them that he will be living somewhere else but nothing in their lives will change.
Good luck, it is very hard but be strong.

harrys_nan

Remember your "worth"
Do you deserve to be treated like this? Do your kids deserve to be treated like this? I guess the answer will be a big fat no !!
You will never trust him again and will always be wanting to check up on him and thats no life for you. Please put you and the kids 1st, get your self to the doctors and tell them whats going on and how you feel.
I hope things get better for you and the kids
xx

flutterby_lil

Cotton_wool_katie wrote: »

Hi

Been lurking for a while and things at my end have come to a head today. Was hoping for a bit of help/ support.

The Hubby n I haven't been right for a while we split 12 weeks ago and 9 weeks ago agreed to give us a go for our marriage n kids found out today he has been seeing someone for 7 weeks. Im devastated still love him n would have him back tomorrow. Is this the right thing or not? Where do I go from here. Whenim down I get really down self harm suicide etc. Dont know what to do.

Please any help advice greatly welcome

Cwk

So sorry to hear he has been seeing somebody else. Think you need to change your signature as he doesn't sound like a lovely husband to me.

Why did you split in the first place 12 weeks ago? Did you think he was seeing somebody else then.

Can you go and see your doctor about your suicidal thoughts? How old are your children?

Sending you lots of ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) hon x

flutterby_lil

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

When you thought about posting this thread, you didn't think that using a relevant title might help a little. Something like "maggiage help required". Instead you went with some in-your-face swearing. Good going, OP.

Maybe she doesn't understand what "maggiage help required" means - as I don't. I understand her subject title more clearly now.

LondonDiva

You and your OH need to have a serious talk about what next. What visiting and financial arrangements are you going to make? Will you need to make up a schedule that will work for both of you about picking up after school / shuttle service to after school or other activities? Can someone else also take the kids for a day a week or after school one night to ease pressure?

Have you spoken to your family / friends / support network? I would also suggest that you contact your GP / counsellor to ensure you have a back up plan in place in case you do begin to self harm / become suicidal.

It's important that the children don't get stuck in the middle or end up feeling responsible for keeping you on an even keel, or God forbid if you attempt to hurt yourself.

Good luck.

tayforth

(((((Hugs))))) OP.

There's been some amazing advice already, so I won't repeat what's been said. I'm sorry that your husband has treated you in this way, and I hope that you can work out what to do for the best (for you and your children). You deserve better than this.

Why did you split in the first place? Was there a lack of trust before that?

Trust is a very hard thing to get back. It's 100% essential to any relationship. No matter how much you love someone, if you don't trust them, you are always going to be wondering what they're up to.

Yorkie1

The others have said lots already and I'm not going to repeat their comments.

I'd only add that if you feel down - you don't have to be feeling suicidal but they are there if you do - the Samaritans are there to talk to. At any time and for as long as you need. Just call them.

Cotton_wool_katie

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

When you thought about posting this thread, you didn't think that using a relevant title might help a little. Something like "maggiage help required". Instead you went with some in-your-face swearing. Good going, OP.

Thanks but this is the way I was feeling and if im not wrong I can call my thread whatever I choose.


Thank you to everyone else who had helpful advice and for the support. I no I need to move on its just so difficult.

Thanks again x

Cotton_wool_katie

flutterby_lil wrote: »

So sorry to hear he has been seeing somebody else. Think you need to change your signature as he doesn't sound like a lovely husband to me.



Now done this thanks for pointing it out x

Pollycat

Cotton_wool_katie wrote: »

Thank you to everyone else who had helpful advice and for the support. I no I need to move on its just so difficult.

Do you have any support close to you? Family? Friends?

Look after your physical health and mental well-being. Have you been to see the doctor?

Has he actually moved out? Have you discussed what will happen to the house? Is it mortgaged or are you renting?

Maybe make an appointment to see CAB to see what benefits you are entitled to as a single Mum.

Best wishes