Stress of secondary school choices

Counting_Pennies_2

I just wondered if this is the general way of the world, or if it is just happening in my primary school

We are fast approaching having to make a decision on secondary schools.

Looking back Primary seemed so easy, even though it was fraught with angst over crow flying and getting into the school with Outstanding rating, it was more a case of a choice of one or two local schools.

It seems this time around you have the other parents views in the playground to be aware of.

Close to me there are several comprehensives that are at best a mixed bag, a grammar that is impossible to get in to and several private schools.

With a bit of scrimping it might be possible to get into one of the private schools that do have really good results and has a lovely setting and we feel suits our son well, but just from innocently speaking with other mums I find myself and it seems others around me thinking of the private option being attacked verbally for snobbery, the private school put down. Children no longer invited for a play, and a general back stabbing. There are parents verbally attacking behind the backs of 9 year olds their attitude to their school choices. I am staggered by this.

I just wondered what others thought about it. Are others finding the same responses, or is it just at my childrens school the parents can have a poisonous response.

Gigglepig

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

It seems this time around you have the other parents views in the playground to be aware of.
.

No need to listen/care if you don't want to.

If these parents are so unkind/spiteful/judgmental about other people's school choices, why do you even care if they would no longer invite yournkid to play woth theirs? I'm sure you'll find nice (and not so nice) families at the new school too.

wiogs

There will always be people who view a private school (aka a public school depending on where you are) as an act treason on the education system.

Others will view it as doing the best for your child.

I tend towards the latter view. A child's education, and not merely academic, is important and if this can best be served by paying a fee then, providing you can afford it, go for it.

Person_one

He'll be fine at the comprehensive, most of us are, and because you won't be scrimping to pay for something that should only ever be free you'll be able to do lots of nice things in the holidays and at weekends that he'd miss out on if you were shelling out a fortune to prop up an unethical and unfair system. Bonus!

wiogs

Person_one wrote: »

He'll be fine at the comprehensive, most of us are, and because you won't be scrimping to pay for something that should only ever be free you'll be able to do lots of nice things in the holidays and at weekends that he'd miss out on if you were shelling out a fortune to prop up an unethical and unfair system. Bonus!

See - as I said some view it as an act of treason upon the education system.

Others want the best for their children. Even if they have to pay for what they consider to be the "best"

Counting_Pennies_2

My problem is both comprehensives are either in special measures or needing improvement.

I am seeing this as being my one time to get the education choice right for him.

He is very much in the middle of the class, and often overlooked by his teachers, we are thinking that investing in his education will hopefully give him a good chance in life, but seem to be being attacked for trying our best for him in amongst the playground.

It is sad that he is excluded from playing with others that he previously played with, and a general back stabbing. I am amazed at the ferocity of the response from them to be honest

Person_one

A school in special measures is a good bet actually, within a couple of years it'll probably be doing brilliantly.

pinknfluffy0

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

My problem is both comprehensives are either in special measures or needing improvement.

I am seeing this as being my one time to get the education choice right for him.

He is very much in the middle of the class, and often overlooked by his teachers, we are thinking that investing in his education will hopefully give him a good chance in life, but seem to be being attacked for trying our best for him in amongst the playground.

It is sad that he is excluded from playing with others that he previously played with, and a general back stabbing. I am amazed at the ferocity of the response from them to be honest

If you can afford it then go for it, forget anyone else do the best you can for your child

LEJC

How much will you have to scrimp...when you go into this type of thing its a comittment for the next 5 years...

We did it and I totally understand what you say about back stabbing etc,it does happen but your child will make new friends and socialise with them.

At the beginning of our journey we did struggle financially but it has got easier and I think we did the right thing....our child was quite bright and probably would have got good results in a comprehensive but he was better suited to the system in independant schools in our opinion.

My advice would be to look at your finances,even if it possible ask about finance options...look at the schools and make your choices from there.

For us it was the right thing to do and as a result we have a very happy teen, who has embraced school life ...it doesnt happen like that for everyone but if its something that you think is worth it,at least go and have a look.

pinknfluffy0

Person_one wrote: »

He'll be fine at the comprehensive, most of us are, and because you won't be scrimping to pay for something that should only ever be free you'll be able to do lots of nice things in the holidays and at weekends that he'd miss out on if you were shelling out a fortune to prop up an unethical and unfair system. Bonus!

Maybe she wants better than 'fine' all education should be the same but it's not

aliasojo

The only thing I would consider is how well my child would get on *wherever*.

I would not give a flying fig what other people thought nor would I worry or care about mixing socially with the more narrow minded.

Which is the best school for your child is the only thing you should think about imo.

I view education as very important, more important than holidays or any other luxury. I'd happily skin myself to give my kid the best opportunity I could.