can we avoid care home charges

Person_one

spaniel_dog wrote: »

because I dont like to think what little inheritance I have left for my girls would be taken by the state for care that should be provided from all my 51 years of paying into the system

I'm guessing your 'girls' are actually adult women, probably well past the first flush of youth anyway!

Your 51 years of paying into the system is not a savings pot, its not your money to draw on when you want, its been busy all these years paying for public services, plenty of which you will have used.

74jax

spaniel_dog wrote: »

because I dont like to think what little inheritance I have left for my girls would be taken by the state for care that should be provided from all my 51 years of paying into the system

I know it seems harsh but if your children are like myself and my brother then please use your money on yourself.

We have watched our parents save all their lives for their retirement, to have holidays then. Dad had a hard labour job and worked very hard.

A couple of years after retirement Mum had a double stroke and Dad became her main carer, now at 80 Dad has every cancer in his body going.

They have a small fortune in the bank, waiting to give it to us for our inheritence. We don't want it. It breaks my heart they refuse to move into care as they feel its a waste of their money.

I want my Dads last years (and he hasn't many) to be easier on him, when he is long gone I have a lifetime of memories of him, I don't need his money.

I see it as he worked all his life to be able to pay for his care, to chose a lovely care home - not one he has no say over as he has no money.

We have compromised and they pay for home-help and for 1 day each week in a carehome.

Your children, I am sure, will not see inheritence as a given right, if you get some great, but your money can make a world of difference to your later years care and that would be worth more.

Maybe treat everyone to family time - a holiday, meal out, a car if that would help them, but things that create memories and so that you can see and be rewarded in what you've done.

It tears me apart watching my Dad and I would swap everything he has and I own for him not to go through what he is.

pukkamum

This makes me angry, the ones intending to give away their money so the state has to pay for their old age care are no doubt the same ones who bang on about so called scroungers living off the state by claiming benefits.
No difference.

Grumpygit

Totally agree with Jax, Oh's mother refuses to spend any money, she has though helped Oh's brother with a gift of money and did the same for OH, but she just doesn't want to spend it on herself as she wants to leave something to them when she goes.....which is quite sad really

I've already had a similar conversation with my parents and told them quite bluntly, that really, the only money I want to be left is enough to bury them - they've worked all their life, they are entitled to enjoy their retirement and spend whatever they want.

Ok, they did give us a lump sum out of the sale of their house which enabled us to buy a bigger house with a wing for them to live in, so we see that as my inheritance - whilst money comes in handy and if I was fortunate to receive anything when they go, then it would be appreciated, but I certainly don't expect anything else.

FBaby

spaniel_dog wrote: »

because I dont like to think what little inheritance I have left for my girls would be taken by the state for care that should be provided from all my 51 years of paying into the system

How old are you? Are you receiving a pension? And care within the NHS? Your provision in the 51 years you contributed probably paid for all that and will continue to do so. Think of the next generation who are contributing as much as you, but most likely will not see a penny of it at all.

74jax

pukkamum wrote: »

This makes me angry, the ones intending to give away their money so the state has to pay for their old age care are no doubt the same ones who bang on about so called scroungers living off the state by claiming benefits.
No difference.

I'm sorry I didn't 'mean give away' in that sence. I was trying to say rather than leave an inheritance use the money to 'treat' the daughters so they can thank her in person and she can get enjoyment from it.

I didn't mean give it ALL away, I meant treat them all to a family meal or something that benefits everyone.

Didn't mean to offend.

FBaby

and just to add, I would be horrified if my parents wanted to sell their house to give me whilst getting the minimum care available. I would be much happier for them to sell their house and afford the best accommodation and care the money can get them.

ognum

OP if or when the time comes for you to need care I think that your family would like to be able to choose the facility you are cared for in. believe me some of the places (not all) provided by the state would not be places I would want to live in or places I would want someone I love to spend their last days in!

TonyMMM

Grumpygit wrote: »

She was advised that the financial PoA would mean that if she went into a care home, then the house could be sold by the children (and the money invested) but the care home would only receive the interest on the invested money, not the money from the sale of the house with the state topping it up.

She may want to check that advice again .....

Having PoA will certainly make it easier for the children to sell the home (if she is physically/mentally unable) , but will not remove the proceeds from her assets that can be used to fund her care.

pukkamum

74jax wrote: »

I'm sorry I didn't 'mean give away' in that sence. I was trying to say rather than leave an inheritance use the money to 'treat' the daughters so they can thank her in person and she can get enjoyment from it.

I didn't mean give it ALL away, I meant treat them all to a family meal or something that benefits everyone.

Didn't mean to offend.

Oh 74jax I wasn't referring to your post I was referring to the OP x