The legal process of divorce should be changed

Errata

I've only recently become au fait with divorce terminology (and I wish that I didn't have to), but just FYI: there's no such thing as 'irretrievable breakdown' as a ground for divorce in the UK.

My apologies, I meant unreasonable behaviour (leading to irretrievable breakdown) but clearly screwed my head on the wrong way this morning:o

Vicky123

So what happens if the other party denies unreasonable behavior, how does one prove that? Emotional abuse doesn't carry physical bruises or trips to A&E but is devastating to everyone in a family. How does it remain no blame? In a divorce court an emotional abuser can be a master of deceit, does the abused have to wait 5 yrs?

tayforth

Errata wrote: »

My apologies, I meant unreasonable behaviour (leading to irretrievable breakdown) but clearly screwed my head on the wrong way this morning:o

Oh, no need to apologise! I'd heard the term loads of times too, it's probably an American thing.

Vicky123 wrote: »

So what happens if the other party denies unreasonable behavior, how does one prove that? Emotional abuse doesn't carry physical bruises or trips to A&E but is devastating to everyone in a family. How does it remain no blame? In a divorce court an emotional abuser can be a master of deceit, does the abused have to wait 5 yrs?

In my case, I have written proof. Thankfully. Also, my neighbours offered to provide witness statements (they heard a lot). If I didn't have that, I'm not sure how I'd 'prove' it if he denied it. Does anyone else know?

Errata

I think teawithmilk knows. She left her OH in the spring and is waiting for a decree nisi on those grounds.

hawk30

tayforth wrote: »

I've only recently become au fait with divorce terminology (and I wish that I didn't have to), but just FYI: there's no such thing as 'irretrievable breakdown' as a ground for divorce in the UK.

The grounds are:

1. Adultery
2. Unreasonable behaviour
3. Desertion (for two years)
4. Two years' separation (with both parties' consent)
5. Five years' separation (with one party's .

Actually, irretrievable breakdown is the only ground for divorce. But to prove it you have to show one of the five facts, being adultery, unreasonable behaviour, etc.

brenda10

Vicky123 wrote: »

So what happens if the other party denies unreasonable behavior, how does one prove that? Emotional abuse doesn't carry physical bruises or trips to A&E but is devastating to everyone in a family. How does it remain no blame? In a divorce court an emotional abuser can be a master of deceit, does the abused have to wait 5 yrs?

Same happened to male member in my family, difficult to prove emotional abuse to him and children and she was a mistress of manipulation of courts etc, they are very skilled at that.:money: Martin is my hero!!

Maureen43

DUTR wrote: »

I don't know what to say Maureen, seems a shame that marraige is taken so lightly nowadays (the bit where you put hooray) , I'm not never have been or probably never will get married, but if I had I would have to be 120% sure that it's forever. In the meantime in true MSE style, I shall save the cost of a wedding and divorce by staying as I am

I took my marriage vows very seriously actually and never took it lightly. The ex however had a different stance..sleeping with men and women behind my back

ilovelondontown

DUTR wrote: »

I don't know what to say Maureen, seems a shame that marraige is taken so lightly nowadays (the bit where you put hooray) , I'm not never have been or probably never will get married, but if I had I would have to be 120% sure that it's forever. In the meantime in true MSE style, I shall save the cost of a wedding and divorce by staying as I am

Blanket statement/ assumption there isn't it!? - Care to back it up with evidence? Regardless of the % of marriages that do end in divorce it doesn't mean they were taken lightly to begin with.

Mrs_pbradley936

I think that we have the balance about right especially when there is no social stigma to living with another partner while legally you are still married to someone else.

When I got married in 1968 a divorce was far harder to get and one of you had to be the guilty party. Fortunately I am still happily married to the same man.

Plus if one of you wanted to be spiteful and refuse to divorce it was very difficult to move in with another while you were still married. If any of you are watching Downton Abbey it was akin to the newspaper chap with the mentally ill wife. She would be the innocent party i.e had become ill not done anything wrong and so he cannot swan off with Edith without giving her a bad name.

I_try

The main change I think that should be made is making it a necessary part of the divorce process to properly sort and finalise the financial split, not just the hoops needed for obtaining the decree absolute.

There are so many threads on here about people trying to sort the finances several years later when lives have moved on and new partners/families are then involved too and having difficulties as the ex-OH has no reason or inclination to cooperate. It would pre-empt a lot potential disagreements and difficulties later on.