Counselling

Errata

Give it a try, what have you got to lose?

missflowers

Bangton wrote: »

For me, I found them quite gruelling. I don't know what I was expecting but it would take me days to get over a session. My reason for having them was due to severe anxiety (at that time ). I would have my hour session and often leave in tears. It certainly got worse before it got better.

I can relate to this too, it found it such a struggle and would often 'panic' afterwards about what I had said. You have to find the right counsellor though someone you can feel comfortable with. Of course everyone is different, this might not be such a hurdle for you. Good luck

jcaow

Good luck - whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you.

I really recommend that you find someone you feel comfortable with. It can be helpful just to talk on the phone with a potential counsellor beforehand if you can, as then you can get a feel if you're going to like someone. Once you've met someone some people find it hard to say if they'd rather see someone else. Although a good therapist would know that 'fit' is important and wouldn't be offended. There are also lots of different types of therapy that can each work well at different times and for different reasons. I would suggest you try it; I've had it several times - sometimes more than helpful than others which has been partly to do with my readyness not just the therapy/ist - but its always been helpful.

(And Raksha, there's now increasing evidence that psychological therapy can be helpful for BPD - for example, mentalisation based therapy. I'm a psychologist and I would suggest that no diagnosis should exclude someone from therapy. That's reminded me, the Dept of Health produced a policy called Personality Disorder - No Longer a Diagnosis of Exclusion back in 2003)

meritaten

I am posting from the other perspective - the counsellors. I had to take counselling basic courses because of my volunteer work. as much of it was dealing with very distressed people.
Counsellors are trained to 'listen'. They are trained to 'guide' people to their 'own' answers. a good counsellor says very little during sessions! often its enough to let people talk, and to release emotions (they are also trained to deal with extreme emotional responses as sometimes a lot of anger can be expressed).
not every counsellor is 'right' for a client - if, after a few sessions you don't feel confident or trust the counsellor then its ok to ask for a different one!
Counselling isn't a magic wand - and counsellors don't have 'the answer' - the answer is in you, the counsellors job is to help you find it! so you do need to be open and honest.

olgadapolga

meritaten wrote: »

. . . if, after a few sessions you don't feel confident or trust the counsellor then its ok to ask for a different one!

Couldn't agree more with this!

I've had counselling twice - first time for PND - really trusted the counsellor and it worked really, really well.

The second time was when I had PTSD. It was a nightmare trying to get a counsellor at all (my employer was footing the bill) and I found, upon meeting her, that I really disliked her. The session went from bad to worse and I found myself asking what on earth I was doing there. Some of her suggestions were nothing short of outlandish; by the end of the session I thought that she was completely barking. I didn't go back (but I did tell her why I wasn't going back, very therapeutic) nor did I seek help from anyone else for fear of repetition.

I am fine now though

Raksha

jcaow wrote: »

Good luck - whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you.

I really recommend that you find someone you feel comfortable with. It can be helpful just to talk on the phone with a potential counsellor beforehand if you can, as then you can get a feel if you're going to like someone. Once you've met someone some people find it hard to say if they'd rather see someone else. Although a good therapist would know that 'fit' is important and wouldn't be offended. There are also lots of different types of therapy that can each work well at different times and for different reasons. I would suggest you try it; I've had it several times - sometimes more than helpful than others which has been partly to do with my readyness not just the therapy/ist - but its always been helpful.

(And Raksha, there's now increasing evidence that psychological therapy can be helpful for BPD - for example, mentalisation based therapy. I'm a psychologist and I would suggest that no diagnosis should exclude someone from therapy. That's reminded me, the Dept of Health produced a policy called Personality Disorder - No Longer a Diagnosis of Exclusion back in 2003)

That's quite different from the 'talking therapy' that is most councelling. Taking somebody back to the most triggering moments in their lives surely has to be done with care and an awareness.

sacha28

Hey tiger I have lots of experience with counselling. I had my first counselling session at 10 years old through CAMHS (child mental health team) and continued through to the age of 20. I actually stopped going because my psychotherapist moved away and wasn't replaced (such is the state of our mental health system!).

Some days I found it useful, others not so. It really depended on my frame of mind at the time....if I'd had a good couple of days the last thing I would want to do is drag up all the things that made me feel awful, if I'd had some dark times it was good to try and work out why. What I didn't find helpful though is my idiot ex who insisted on me telling him every detail of our conversation and any outcomes I had reached, for some reason 'it's private' just didn't register with him.

My advice is this.....go to counselling, you have nothing to lose. You may not 'click' with the first person you see but there is no harm in asking to see someone else, and continuing to see different people until you find someone you feel comfortable with. In my adult years I went through 4 people before I found my angel Louise. There are still things I learned in those sessions that I use now.

dancingfairy

I think it's very individual. There are different types of counselling and different types of counsellor/therapist./ Obviously different counsellors will suit different problems/people.
There's obviously delving into your past to find out why you are the way you are (which will only help I think if you are able to use that understanding in order to move forward rather than to dwell on the past). There's counselling which focusses more on moving forward and strategies etc and also CBT.
I would give it a go though, you've got nothing to loose. If you don't 'click' with the counsellor you can always ask if there is another one you could see instead.
Best of Luck
df

nlj1520

~I have had 3 different counsellors in my lifetime. 2 were traditional psychoanalytical 1 was CBT. The latter was the most helpful because I needed help dealing with the here and now. I could work out what had gone on in the past to make me the way I am, but needed help in dealing with it.
It was hard work and I felt worse before I felt better. It was on the phone which I found quite difficult practically, but kept it more impersonal which was a plus emotionally for me as I struggle with close relationships and showing my emotions.
I would recommend it. We all need help sometimes.................