Need advise please

nlj1520

It is great that he knows that hurting people is not acceptable. My son took years and years to learn this and still occasionally gets overwhelmed and lashes out big time.
The wrist band is a great idea, is there a gym at the school with a punch bag? Could he have access to that when he needs to let out anger?
In the longer term we have found music therapy a HUGELY helpful emotional outlet for my son. Drums when he is angry, more creative sessions when he is sad or thoughtful and dancing when happy.
People (especially young men) with ASD need huge amounts of physical activity and trampolining is especially helpful. It seems to soothe (presumably because of the rhythmic bouncing) and release pent up emotions. Can he get access to that? We had a trampoline in the garden when my son lived at home, but that's not possible for everyone.
Also there is help available from the Challenging Behaviour Foundation......try ringing one of their family support workers for advise and resources. Must declare an interest here as I work for this organisation.
Goodluck and all the very best

Ames

Speaking as a self harmer, removing access to things that he could use can have the opposite effect. I once threw out all my knives and scissors etc when I was heading into self harm mode, and so instead of a nice clean cut I burned myself on the heater. I've also been known to tear up a credit card (store loyalty card actually) to get a sharp edge. I've heard of people snapping cds.

I've found a couple of things that work for me. Getting out of whatever situation is making me feel like that - would school agree to your son going to the library or somewhere, even if it means leaving a lesson? Is there somewhere at home he can go to be on his own and calm down?

Visualisation techniques sometimes help. I have an imaginary 'safe place' which I can go to when I'm feeling bad. Deep breathing can help too.

Having an elastic band around my wrist which I can snap helps too, it creates a similar pain to cutting but obviously is safer and doesn't cause damage. It doesn't last as long though.

Finally, some massage techniques. Drumming my fingers on the big muscles - either the ones on the back/side of the forarm or the ones on the thigh. I can't remember the science behind it but it does help to calm me down. (It was suggested by a psychiatrist).

I really hope you can get help from the doctor next week.