Need advise please

loobylaa

Really struggling at the moment so hope someone can offer advise
I have a teenage son with aspergars and adhd
He is very demanding which puts a strain on the entire family and now he has started to mark his arm with a pencil sharpener blade, I say mark as he's not cutting deep just scratching
We are due to see his camhs worker on Monday so will be asking her for help but in the meantime does anyone have any advise they can offer as to how I can help him/stop him
He 1st did this about 2 weeks ago but naively I believed him when he said he wouldn't do it again as it had hurt then just found out he has, also scratches look more noticeabler this time so worried he's going deeper
Thanks

double_mummy

remove everything he can hurt himself with and hold out til monday

loobylaa

I thought I had removed everything will be contacting school in the morning as that's where he got the latest sharpener from, it worries me as all I can see now are things he could use

double_mummy

is there any way to discuss it with the school - do a bag check as soon as he home

keep him in family areas as much as possible enforce wearing short sleeves and make everyone else do the same even if it means putting the heating on for a coupe of days

loobylaa

I'm lucky to have a very supportive teacher at his school so will be speaking to her later today the bag check is a really good idea thank you

kingfisherblue

If you google Aspergers and self harm, there are several articles that might be helpful to you as you are waiting for your appointment. I'm sorry not to be more help, it's something I know little about, but I hope you manage to sort something out. Don't forget that there is usually a crisis team if necessary.

nlj1520

I only have real experience of austism with learning difficulties and the thought process there would be.......what is the function of the behaviour and what is the cause.
So I am thinking.......perhaps your son is thinking......My emotions are painful, so I'll replace it with a physical pain (common in people who do this sort of thing without aspergers) or I need someone to notice that I am struggling and they will see a sore place on my arm or I saw one of the other kids at school do this and looks interesting so I will do it or given the sensory issues most people with ASD have is he looking for the endorphin rush that the pain give him.
My son bangs his head on the wall, floor or any available hard surface and regularly splits the skin. This seems to be an outlet for his anger and the sensory rush from the pain distracts him from whatever is stressing him.
One thing I do know is that if this sort of behaviour establishes itself, it is very hard to modify, especially in someone with ASD. So stress to CAMHS that you want help on this NOW. One of the better Psychiatrists I saw when my son was younger took a very holistic view and made sure that I was getting the support I needed to. If you are struggling more than you feel you can deal with ask them for pointers to help for you too.
It's a horrible thing for a parent to see and I really wish you all the best for sorting this.
If you wish to PM me feel free.

keep_flyin

This type of self harm is sensory seeking behaviour. Deep pressure massage may help if he will let you. Does he also have a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder? It is possibly also linked to a hightened state of anxiety. Getting him to flick a wristband may also give him the input he needs but wthout the harm.

loobylaa

Thanks everyone for your replys, well my meeting with camhs got cancelled as his dr had another meeting after constantly arguing with them I have an appointment for next mon now, originally they re arranged for 3 weeks away
Am on high alert now as he did it again at school yesterday he told his teacher that its either cutting on hurting people, he struggles with anger when in a melt down so a suggested we have got a wrist band to flick Hoping that will work

loobylaa

Thanks everyone for your replys, well my meeting with camhs got cancelled as his dr had another meeting after constantly arguing with them I have an appointment for next mon now, originally they re arranged for 3 weeks away
Am on high alert now as he did it again at school yesterday he told his teacher that its either cutting on hurting people, he struggles with anger when in a melt down so a suggested we have got a wrist band to flick Hoping that will work

sew_what

Other short term coping strategies might be letting ice cubes melt on his skin (no salt!!!), brushing with a tooth brush or drawing with a red pen. All can give the sensation of self harm without the scars!
Hope you can get the help he needs soon!