woah... are those MY finances??

cottage_retreatist

Hi Stewby!

I just wanted to say welcome to the DFW board and good luck! I'll drop back in and watch your journey. Just to say you confess to not being great with money management - I know you say your OH is currently unemployed but how are they with money? The only reason I ask is my OH is horrendous with money (one of the reasons we're here in the first place)!! So I now control ALL money in our household.

Could this be a temporary option to set you up as you're getting your head around the debt-busting and then gradually you take on more responsibility until you are able to do this with an MSE head on?

Good luck!!!
C-R xx

stewby

the loan was to pay off my previous credit card debts and a trip to new zealand. (my partner was out there for eight months during his training and due to having no knowledge of my finances, i paid about £3,000 to go visit for three weeks). so there isn't really anything i can sell on.

i was very lucky as i bought my first house when i was 17. (my parents gave me some money for a deposit). so my mortgage started when i was seventeen. it is for 25 years.
prices up here was a lot cheaper than elsewhere. (we were thinking of moving down south but prices are just out of our league).


my partner is currently looking at cars which cost over £16,000. i have no intention of handing financial control over to him at present.
i know that my dad is sensible with money and can keep it all under control. i think chevalier is right and i should focus on getting the £400 under control and then maybe take the big account back on. i don't want to run before i can walk.


yeah, it is quite a mess but hopefully with my dad on board and me being sensible, we can try to sort it out. i plan on using your diary, and other's diaries too, to keep me motivated.


thanks for the good wishes and i hope everyone well with their journey too. as people say: it's a marathon, not a sprint. i just need to remember that.

chevalier

Glad you took my advice in good part, I was worried I was a bit harsh. Ref the 3 miles to work. Could you save the petrol and bike it? Would it be cheaper to get a bus?
Why is your partner looking at cars that expensive when he is on the dole? I guess it can be a diverting fantasy but ....

nb there were 1000+ jobs advertised on monster for scotland.

I know that some will be unsuitable, but I am sure there is something out there for him even if it 'isn't' what he wants to do long term

http://jobsearch.monster.co.uk/jobs/?cy=uk&where=Scotland

stewby

nah, you weren't being harsh at all. i appreciate honesty and to be honest, i was more worried that people were going to be agitated with me coming on here when it is my own fault i am in this mess. it's not like i was paying bills or anything, i was just overspending trying to achieve the sort of lifestyle that i cannot have.


my partner has currently put his cv in for computer agency work (he worked for the council before he started his training) so we are waiting to hear back from that. (after much moaning from me).
he is not currently on the dole or any type of benefits as he only finished his training in august. i kinda imagined that he would just walk into a job so i am a bit disappointed that there doesn't seem to be any.
if i was going to rant, i would say i am annoyed because he isn't even putting himself out there. his training course said that he would go into a hold pool and job invitations would be sent out. so he hasn't bothered contacting anyone else. i would have been sending emails out to non-partner airlines and trying to get myself noticed. so i find it quite frustrating that he is just waiting.


erm... moving swiftly on. (sorry, shouldn't rant. it's not really fair when other people have more serious issues and i am moaning about something minor).


biking is not a suitable plan as i don't own a bike. (gave it to my niece about 8 months ago, although in fairness it was her father who bought it for me). however, the plan is to walk during the summer but drive in winter as my new workplace is up a creepy lane that lasts about half a mile. (and i am scared of the dark).
:eek:

stewby

so... reasons i want to become debt free/mortgage free.

there are two massive reasons for this:

1) i feel like i am letting my dad down.
he has always been so careful with money and i have just gone daft. the only debt my parents have ever had is their mortgage. both my brother and i have had major money issues and have both required our dad to take over our finances. (seeing what a great job he did with my brother was what made me decide to seek help from him too).

2) i fell in love with a house. i really want it. i can't really explain but it makes my heart shake when i see it. it's a small cottage, pink granite, two bedrooms but with space in the attic. it needs a lot of work but it is just so perfect.


it is out of our league due to our finances and it's effecting me quite badly. but maybe not that badly as it has encouraged me to have a look at my finances and get my a*se in gear.


so here it is my reasoning behind sorting out my debt. if only i had realised this earlier (hindsight is 20/20) i maybe could have afforded that house. a bit of a sobering thought...

enough of being miserable. i still have 9 days until the new me. which is a bit of a shame as i am ready and raring to go.


i have been on and looked at a few different ideas on here and read a few diaries. (they get quite addictive). it sounds quite bad but i wish they were story books so i could flick to the end and see the happy results then read them properly. i don't like the stories being a work in progress. (did i mention i am quite young for my age).

Fmess

Hi stewby

I'm new to posting on MSE too and am also starting my debt free journey this month. Like you, I have debts from everything; trips abroad, credit cards, a loan to cover the credit cards, then more credit cards etc.

I have found a board called the September Step Up Challenge where everyone agrees to attempt a set of debt busting/money counting /life improving challenges. The October board should be starting in a week or two and I can't wait to join. I love a challenge, plus everyone else on the board can see your progress as you post. I like it because I find the idea of tackling my debts over the next 4 years quite hard to focus on as it's such a long time scale.

Maybe it could help you focus on your monthly spending?

Good luck with your journey

stewby

hey fmess.

so far i have read up on no spend days, which i quite like the idea of. i have read other stuff as well which i think sounds quite good. the forum is full of great ideas, i wish i had found it earlier.


i will keep an eye out for the october thread and join. as i said previously (though maybe not on this thread), i enjoy the sense of achievement i get from everything (even just cleaning the house) so making a weekly goal and no spend days then sticking to it would help me get that warm fuzzy feeling which will make me feel even better.


i have noticed a trend in diaries of people who have a longer way to go where they tend to get disheartened as they focus on how much they have to go rather than how much they have paid off. (they do realise this though) so it has taught me to remember to look at how well i am doing in order to remain positive.

good luck with your journey fmess. hopefully we will be celebrating with everyone else in a few years.

Eyes_wide_open

Hi stewby welcome to the dfw board.

Reading through the posts I feel the first thing you need to do is to take financial control. At the moment you are in a bit of a mess with your dad helping you taking control. Whilst your dad is there supporting you, making sure things are paid and in effect giving you pocket money for the month you are never going to become financially independant.

As the credit card is in your dad's name could you ask your dad to keep the card and not allow you to have it back. For him to tell you the balance and then for you to pay him monthly amounts until it's paid off. Going cold turkey on the cc may be hard but ultimately if you want to be debt free, hard choices have to be made.

Take back responsibility for all your bills and start paying them. I have a separate account for bill money and monthly spend. Just don't touch the bills money. Knowing you haven't got a credit card to fall back on may make you realise that you can't do the impulse without a consequence.

Whilst working out your budget give yourself an allowance for emergencies. Put that in a separate account and don't touch it unless it's an emergency and not simply because you haven't budgeted for something.

I have said to people this year that I will be giving token gifts at Christmas, except for parents and nieces and nephews ( money for these have been saved through out the year) Everyone is happy with that so no need to put yourself further in debt for gifts.

You can do this, you can clear your debts and get your dreams but only by being adult and making some hard choices.

Apologises if I sound harsh.

A xx

stewby

i haven't found anyone being harsh at all so don't apologise. i came on here for advice, support and... to stop myself from chickening out. and i am getting the first two in spades. so thank you to everyone.


i am a bit scared to take on the full wage at the moment. in the past i used up my £400 and then demolished the main account as well. my plan is to spend 6 months to a year trying to control my £400. if i can do this consistently (and reduce it to £200 by the end of the 6 months) then i will speak to my dad about taking over my main account again.

wow... can't believe i just admitted to being scared. but it is the truth i suppose.
i was bit naive and didn't really realise my finances. i knew i had spent on next but not £380. i have been paying off £30 a month for quite some time now so assumed it was amost gone.


the credit card was always going to be bad. this month i put a big holiday on it (kos, all inclusive for one week). it was meant to be two but i explained to my partner's friends that we can only manage a week and they have understood this. it is a necessity as they are getting married and my partner is the best man so we couldn't avoid it. so £2000 of the credit card debt is the holiday. (i know i could have probably done it cheaper but this way it is all inclusive so my partner can drink with his mates and we are in the same hotel as the bridal party).


i am determined to do achieve my goals but want my dad there as a safety net just in case i mess up. i tend to get distracted by deals which is why i have heaps of clothes that i have bought in sales. (also why i have a skinny suitcase of clothes too).


nightshift tonight so off to cook tea. some chicken goujons that we got cheap and some mash. chicken goujons were a bargain as i split them into fours and got about 6 meals out of them for about a fiver. (see, i am trying).

Fmess

stewby wrote: »

so far i have read up on no spend days, which i quite like the idea of. i have read other stuff as well which i think sounds quite good. the forum is full of great ideas, i wish i had found it earlier.


i will keep an eye out for the october thread and join. as i said previously (though maybe not on this thread), i enjoy the sense of achievement i get from everything (even just cleaning the house) so making a weekly goal and no spend days then sticking to it would help me get that warm fuzzy feeling which will make me feel even better.

The September challenge included 18 no spend days, a food budget, a £10 toiletries budget, take a packed lunch to work everyday, £3 must be donated to a local food bank/similar good cause, alcohol free days, 3 lots of 20 minute exercise a week etc

I'm looking forward to getting to the end of October and getting that warm fuzzy feeling of having met the challenge like you I love a sense of achievement so can't wait to start