Oh My God, Amex Just Killed Me

Robflh

Hi mrslawrence2003

mrslawrence2003 wrote: »

I could have given up there and then, as it was, I struggled to even get out of bed as everything was too difficult, and too much for me to cope with.

Been there done that, got the T-shirt and the stick of rock. However, that was years ago and it meant that this time round I would know what to expect and that is half the battle.

I use to set my alarm clock for 9am and as soon as I woke up, I would put on the TV. I might not get out of bed for a few hours but I would be awake. Then of course, I was signing on and that meant going to the job centre at least twice a week. I went in the morning three times a week and I would walk there and back.

Exercise helps people to sleep at night, so go for a long walk once a day. This helps to get a good night’s sleep and that is one of the most important things you can do. Others, are things like having a good GP and making sure you eat and eat properly.

If it’s too much trouble to make a meal, get some large baps and sliced meat. Then it is quick & easy to make a ham roll or whatever meat you would like to use. Tomatoes are good for you, so add a few slices of tomato and maybe a bit if cheese. However tempting it is or how miserable you feel, never miss out on meals. Food is just as important as any medicine.

As soon as you feel able to do so, find something to do. Charities are always looking for people to help them out in there spare time and if you are not working you have plenty of time to give but depending on what benefit you are on you can only do a maximum of 16 hours per week.

For a few hours a day and a few days a week you will have a chance to meet, talk, laugh and joke with other people and that is better then any medicine, which is why I do it. Do not over do it and anytime you feel it is getting too much, take a step back. It is not a race to see who gets there first.

Do not worry over things you have no control over. It is very easy to write but doing it is far more difficult. Worrying about how to pay a bill will not get it paid any faster but it will cause you stress and anxiety, which in turn will increase your level of depression. Contact the company and explain to them your circumstances. Then ask them for ways you can pay the bill.

At one point, I did not use my bank account and I had paying in books for my gas, electric, and water. That meant I could pay them anytime during the month and I did not have to have the money in the bank on a specified date, as I did with the Direct Debts and that meant no charges for not having enough money in the account for the DD’s.

Look at a situation and work out what the worst-case scenario will be and then try to make arrangements for it. Do everything you can to avoid it but if all else fails, it will happen and remember, worrying about it will not stop it from happening.

If you receive a letter that has bad news, the house is going to be re-possessed or something else. It will be a shock to your system and you may even panic. As I understand it there is very little that you can do about it but I have Diazepam for mine. Anyone that has been told that a close relative has died will now exactly what shock feels like.

As I am on Incapacity Benefit I was able to go on a few courses, one of them was called Condition Management. It teaches you what stress is, how to recognise it and what strategies you can use to deal/cope with it. I found it to be one of the best courses I did.

I hope this is of some help to you or anyone else.

Tiddlywinks

Robflh

I normally subscribe to the theory that "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything"....... however, on this occasion I have to join in here as you have rattled me with your long ramblings.

You are very selective in your reading of these responses aren't you?

You need to stop being so self obsessed, spend less time on these forums and use that time to look for a job - please do not continue to say that you are unable to work. Quite clearly you have some skills that you could utilise so please look to the future, earn an income and take responsibility for your own actions.

Also, it is not appropriate that you attempt to lecture others on dealing with depression and / or debt - this inappropriate support can be a dangerous thing if the advice is not spot on.

TW

mrslawrence2003

Robflh wrote: »

Hi mrslawrence2003



Been there done that, got the T-shirt and the stick of rock. However, that was years ago and it meant that this time round I would know what to expect and that is half the battle.

I use to set my alarm clock for 9am and as soon as I woke up, I would put on the TV. I might not get out of bed for a few hours but I would be awake. Then of course, I was signing on and that meant going to the job centre at least twice a week. I went in the morning three times a week and I would walk there and back.

Exercise helps people to sleep at night, so go for a long walk once a day. This helps to get a good night’s sleep and that is one of the most important things you can do. Others, are things like having a good GP and making sure you eat and eat properly.

If it’s too much trouble to make a meal, get some large baps and sliced meat. Then it is quick & easy to make a ham roll or whatever meat you would like to use. Tomatoes are good for you, so add a few slices of tomato and maybe a bit if cheese. However tempting it is or how miserable you feel, never miss out on meals. Food is just as important as any medicine.

As soon as you feel able to do so, find something to do. Charities are always looking for people to help them out in there spare time and if you are not working you have plenty of time to give but depending on what benefit you are on you can only do a maximum of 16 hours per week.

For a few hours a day and a few days a week you will have a chance to meet, talk, laugh and joke with other people and that is better then any medicine, which is why I do it. Do not over do it and anytime you feel it is getting too much, take a step back. It is not a race to see who gets there first.

Do not worry over things you have no control over. It is very easy to write but doing it is far more difficult. Worrying about how to pay a bill will not get it paid any faster but it will cause you stress and anxiety, which in turn will increase your level of depression. Contact the company and explain to them your circumstances. Then ask them for ways you can pay the bill.

At one point, I did not use my bank account and I had paying in books for my gas, electric, and water. That meant I could pay them anytime during the month and I did not have to have the money in the bank on a specified date, as I did with the Direct Debts and that meant no charges for not having enough money in the account for the DD’s.

Look at a situation and work out what the worst-case scenario will be and then try to make arrangements for it. Do everything you can to avoid it but if all else fails, it will happen and remember, worrying about it will not stop it from happening.

If you receive a letter that has bad news, the house is going to be re-possessed or something else. It will be a shock to your system and you may even panic. As I understand it there is very little that you can do about it but I have Diazepam for mine. Anyone that has been told that a close relative has died will now exactly what shock feels like.

As I am on Incapacity Benefit I was able to go on a few courses, one of them was called Condition Management. It teaches you what stress is, how to recognise it and what strategies you can use to deal/cope with it. I found it to be one of the best courses I did.

I hope this is of some help to you or anyone else.

i was going to post a long reply. but i see no point. put simply, i am well aware how to deal with depression. furthermore, i do not rely on addictive medication such as diazepam (which only treats the symptoms and not the cause) to get me through. i am also more than capable of working, and was back to work within a month of my breakdown. i am amazed that you seem able to cope with renovating your house, living with lodgers and drive other people around yet are 'unable' to work. rather more to the point, it seems patently clear you do not want to work. you have managed to get by for 12 years without working and clearly intend to continue not working until you retire.

Robflh

Just to clarify something, for the first 9 years of the 12, I was on JSA and looking for work. I even had a number of jobs during that time but for one reason or another, they never lasted very long. I would take every opportunity to acquire more skills, which in turn would make it easier to get and keep the next job.

It was not until I had my third relapse that I went on to Incapacity benefit and even then, I did every course/seminar they offered me in an effort to get better quicker.

The last thing I would ever want to do is to be as I am now for the rest of my life. That is not the kind of life, I would wish on my worst enemy. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think to myself, oh well never mind. I have no reason to carry on. I go from one day to the next hopping I will not wake the next morning. I am supposed to list the Cons and Pros and I have no Pros to list, none at all.

As for the renovation work, doing a day here and a day there, it has taken me almost two years to do what should have taken less then three months. Never the less on occasions I have laboured for the bricklayer or the plumber and that was more then a day at a time. Afterwards for the next few days, I would be so tired that I would be in bed by 18:00 and a sleep by 18:30.

The other weekend I mowed the front and back lawn, which are not very big. Afterwards I went up stairs to lay down for a little while and the next thing I knew, three hours had gone by. That is how easily I get tired but then I was still getting over the shock of having the limit on my Amex card reduced.

I would love to have a job but I am not going to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. I have already done that and I have no intention of doing it again, no matter what other people may think of me.

katepnlo

have to say i am glad it has been said
kate

meme_3

Rob
You wrote "It is very easy to write but doing it is far more difficult."

What the hell does that mean?


It's clear you're not going to sell up to clear your debt - you don't want to, so "why should you?".

You're obviously intelligent - Amex are not really a problem are they?

Your tone in these posts has changed - no longer the victim - do I take it that you've secured the extra cash?

However, if you are genuinely in this much debt, clearing it will help you get back to work. I said that before, you asked me to clarify.

Simple -
You suffer from depression.
Debt contributes to depression.
Get rid of debt - better mood - better way of life (more money) - easier to face a good honest day's work.

There's nothing like the elation that you feel when a debt is cleared.
It far outweighs the joy experienced when extra funding is secured.

krisskross

Robflh wrote: »

The other weekend I mowed the front and back lawn, which are not very big. Afterwards I went up stairs to lay down for a little while and the next thing I knew, three hours had gone by. That is how easily I get tired but then I was still getting over the shock of having the limit on my Amex card reduced.

Nothing at all to do with your amex card. You just aren't fit.

[Deleted User]

LOL its just old age, well not being active.

Is this thread still going on? about the guy that is whinging about credit being taken off him even though he is into his neck with debt and has no reliable income.

What are you hoping to achieve after 8 pages of this moaning and not listening to advice. You are in the biggest rut ever, do i have sympathy with you? no you put yourself there and refuse to work your way out of it, you see only one possible solution and refuse to accept that this wont work and that you must follow another path.

dankes

Robflh wrote: »

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think to myself, oh well never mind. I have no reason to carry on. I go from one day to the next hopping I will not wake the next morning. I am supposed to list the Cons and Pros and I have no Pros to list, none at all.

Robflh, I do not know if you are genuine or not, but if you truly feel like this, then you need to go back to the doctor and get help. Serious help - not financial. You mentioned taking anti-depressants but if you still feel like this then you must get help again.

If you are not genuine - and I suspect you're not - then please STOP this. Someone very close to me killed himself a few weeks ago and it has devastated all of us who knew him.

I HATE people saying things like this, trying to illicit sympathy, when there are so many truly desperate people out there.

And please, do NOT reply with one of your long, rambling, patronising posts. I am NOT interested. Either get some psychological help for your problems or stop trying to manipulate people.

[Deleted User]

This thread might be a form of begging letter scam dankes, I hope not, you read about these internet scams conning rich kind hearted people from time to time.

Only way to not be depressed is to change your situation. The house, debts and lodgers are getting you down. F**k it sell up and for the 50k buy a beach hut in new zealand sun bathe and become a f*kin hair dresser or something unstressful. If you aint havin fun then f*k it thats my motto!