Oh My God, Amex Just Killed Me

Robflh

Hi flaura
Firstly, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you and if that is not enough thank you’s I will be only to happy to do more.

Secondly, congratulations on almost being debt free.

Robflh

Hi again kathy206
As I said in a recent post, I did not leave school with much in the way of qualifications. I could read a book from now until doomsday and I would not understand most of it. So learning from books it not a good way for me to learn. The best way for me to learn is by doing it.

After leaving school with such poor results, I thought I was an idiot and any kind of higher education would be way out of my league. I knew nothing about dyslexia let alone the fact that I had it. I only realized I had it a few years ago (a good few years ago mind you) I was watching my local TV news program. They had a piece on dyslexic and what signs parents should look for, to see if their children suffered from it and I had all of them.

OMG now that really was an LBM and after that, so many things fell into place. I could understand why I did this and why I had difficulty in doing that. When I got my first computer, a whole new world opened up for me. I could type something into the computer, print it out and people could read it. It might not make a lot of sense but they could read something I had written.

When I lost that job, NVQ’s were all the rage and they are practical way of learning. As soon as I had been signing on for six months, I did an NVQ Level 1 and level 2 for Using Information Technology. I could already use a computer and software but it would look good on my CV.

Before I even did that, I had the idea of starting my own fitness centre and because of that, I went to a place to do a short course on learning what is involved in running your own business. That led to me doing a NVQ Level 3 for Owner Management – Business Planning. I now have certificates for three NVQ’s

What to do next for training I am not sure but first I would like to get to a point where I can come off the Incapacity benefit. Although that kind of thing is always in the back of my mind. Ie. Not being considered consciously but sub consciously.

meme_3

Obviously Rob, you think I've been wasting my time, as well as many others.

flaura is right - you don't want our help.

It would be much easier for you to keep blaming others for your problems, particularly if no-one was answering your thread. That would be proof indeed that everyone was against you (yes I used to know how to convince myself of that too!).

The whole point of this board is to draw on the experiences of others and to offer support in the difficult journey which is clearing our debts, not how to screw more money out of the banks / benefit agencies etc.

I sincerely wish you all the very best for the future.
I have no problem with being proved wrong - in fact it would be the best outcome here, but I'm afraid I don't see how.

Please consider both sides of the coin and weigh up your options carefully.
In the very least concentrate on clearing the debts first, and then finish the house when the bank balance is healthier.

I won't post again.

flaura

Robflh wrote: »

Hi flaura
Firstly, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you and if that is not enough thank you’s I will be only to happy to do more.

Secondly, congratulations on almost being debt free.

Think you misunderstood me Rob ! either that or you are incredibly sarcastic as well as ungrateful for all the help people who are trying to give you -- when your out of denial why don't you repost

flaura

meme wrote: »

Obviously Rob, you think I've been wasting my time, as well as many others.

flaura is right - you don't want our help.

It would be much easier for you to keep blaming others for your problems, particularly if no-one was answering your thread. That would be proof indeed that everyone was against you (yes I used to know how to convince myself of that too!).

The whole point of this board is to draw on the experiences of others and to offer support in the difficult journey which is clearing our debts, not how to screw more money out of the banks / benefit agencies etc.

I sincerely wish you all the very best for the future.
I have no problem with being proved wrong - in fact it would be the best outcome here, but I'm afraid I don't see how.

Please consider both sides of the coin and weigh up your options carefully.
In the very least concentrate on clearing the debts first, and then finish the house when the bank balance is healthier.

I won't post again.

Well said !!!!:T

flaura

Robflh wrote: »

Hi meme

I think you will find that flaura was under the impression that I was asking what should I do next and if I did not like the answers I was getting I should not have asked the question.

However, that was not the question I was asking. The question I am asking is can anyone help me to get past the obstacle that has appeared in front of me.

Steel posted seven different suggestions for things I could do to help me get to my goal. That person racked there brains to come up with those suggestions

Look through your posts and tell me of one suggestion that you have made to help me reach my goal, just one will do. If you can, I will humbly apologise to you.

All certain people have done time and time again is to tell me that I will never reach my goal and I should give up now. It does not matter what I say, they pick through it for anything they can use against me and then they pat each other on the back for having put me down.

They do not seem to understand just how soul destroying that is for me and how much stress they are causing me or just how much they hurt me when they say that a nervous breakdown is no reason not to be working.

With a broken leg, it is easy to see what it wrong with someone but with mental illness there is nothing to see and that makes it very difficult for people like myself to be able to defend ourselves against such prejudice.

I could have told nicola1982 that she was a complete idiot for getting pregnant without first making sure she was financial secure but that would be a negative criticism and that severs not purpose what so ever. Except to drive home what she all ready knows, which would do her no favours at all.

Instead, I thought of a way for her to keep her head above water while she is on maternity leave and not have to go to her creditors. Nicola will not use my suggestion, because of what happened to her at Uni, she thinks credit cards are bad.

However, a credit card is just a tool that you can use wisely or foolishly. Managing a credit card so that you control it and it does not control you, is the wise way to use it. Juggling them so you keep the outstanding debt at 0% for as often and or as long as you can, is another wise way of using them and there a lot more examples.

what you are saying is how do i get three frand !! no-one on this board has three grand to help you and all you appear to have come back with is negativity and threats ! and i'm not the deluded one !

Robflh

flaura wrote: »

what you are saying is how do i get three grand!! no-one on this board has three grand to help you !

That is the most stupidest thing I have herd so far. I have never asked anyone on here for money and I never ever would. That to say the least is slanderous.

kathy206

Robflh wrote: »

Hi kathy206

When you have got through this (and I am sure you will).
You are provably quite right. Sorry if I have taken that slightly out of context but the point is, I will get though it whether that means selling the house now or finishing the house off and then selling it. Either way the debt will have been killed by this time next year.

Personally speaking I have never had a moments doubt in my mind that I will get the house finished, keep making my payments until the house is sold and still keep my sanity. As I have said time and time again, I will get past the obstacle that is in my way. All I have ever asked for is suggestions on ways I can get round it.

I have never asked for reasons why I should give up nor do I want them or need them. So far, I have been very patient with these people but from now on, I will not be. If you do not have anything positive to say, do not post here.

You may not like the replies you get from me and that is assuming I can be bothered to waste my time and energy on you in the first place.

Rob I am baffled as to why you have aimed this at me. You did (quite conveniently) take that particular quote of mine out of context, omitting that I had already said you were articulate and intelligent. You have had a lot of advice from people who have dealt with or are dealing with debt, and some very constructive advice at that. My suggestion that you retrain was not to undermine you but to try and refocus your mind on the future. I suggest that you stop picking over the minutiae of what people are suggesting and look,really look, at the whole situation you are in. You fail to take responsibility for your situation with Amex, they obviously took stock of your finances and (fairly or not) pulled the rug out from under you by decreasing your credit limit. (the fact that you are only making minimum payment would have rung a couple of alarm bells with them I am sure) You are putting all your eggs in one basket and living on credit. The posters here have given some valuable advice and treated you with nothing but respect and empathy. Well done on your NVQ's maybe you could use them as a step up to further training maybe even a profession, or higher education, when you feel ready.
You have asked for help and yet you shoot posters down in flames when they offer it with long winded posts. You appear so wrapped up in yourself (which I know,from experience, is perhaps due to your mental health condition) you cannot see that the advice you have been given is not to give up because you are no good (as you are perceiving),but to quit while you are ahead and you have some modicum of control left, and take a huge source of stress from your life. People in serious debt are no strangers to depression and anxiety, so please don't insult us when you say we can't possibly understand.
You have a get out clause, sell your house. (lots of people don't have that choice) I don't see it as giving up ,I see it as liberating yourself from a downward debt spiral, and taking control. You already admit you have missed credit card payments, thus contradiciting yourself when you say you can manage your debts. I sincerely hope your LBM comes sooner rather than later. I wish you all the very best, but I won't be posting again.

Lord_Lardington

Hi Rob,

Not here to judge (not qualified), just to observe. I think you need to step back. I, like many, have read your thread from the start and it’s been quite a journey.

The reason I say “Step back” is because you, at least to me, appear to fall under the category of “Self Fulfilling Prophecy”.

Your thread started with your problem and raised an awful lot of interest and, to be honest, a lot of really sound advice. From the start your initial stance seems to have been along the lines of “The world (or at least Amex) is out to get me” and your prevailing attitude has been “I don’t need advice” to the huge raft of sympathetic and helpful posts has been negative enough to turn the posters against you. Posters who, frankly, I wish had been there to advise me at various points in my life.

Ok, harsh message aside, and flame me if you must, but going back to my earlier point, please step back and try to see where the various advice comes from. Nobody here wants to have a go at you for the sake of it, we can tell you’re hurting but to be helped you need to let people help you.

Cheers and sincerely all the very best

Lardington

nicola1982_2

Right I'm sorry but I'm reporting this thread now. I understand that comment was intended to make a point however I find it incredibly offensive and rude. My choosing to have a baby is not the point of this thread and I merely used it as an example to show that I could relate to your problem. I have not judged you in any way - I cannot believe you dare say something so incredibly rude and insensitive.