New to this part of Mse.

aliasojo

lostinrates wrote: »

Hmm. I need to think. About that. I'm really kind of surprised no one else seems to have struggled with this. I feel a bit more of a freak now :D

Freak....nah......you're just...em......unique!

See.....bright side to everything.

Small serious note.......I wish I had half your strength lir, I do often note how each of us tackle challenges in life and I'm aware people (like you for example) who should, on paper, have room to complain.....don't, and those of us who have less to moan about, do so with gusto.

Get your badge girl and wear it with pride! Or make your car wear it at least.

lostinrates

aliasojo wrote: »

Freak....nah......you're just...em......unique!

See.....bright side to everything.

Small serious note.......I wish I had half your strength lir, I do often note how each of us tackle challenges in life and I'm aware people (like you for example) who should, on paper, have room to complain.....don't, and those of us who have less to moan about, do so with gusto.

Get your badge girl and wear it with pride! Or make your car wear it at least.

Oh, no, I whine all the time on my 'home' thread . Honestly though, I generally feel the more I live in 'it', the more it holds me back.

Initially, when they said I wouldn't walk and talk again, that sort of landmark, I had a sort of fury which made recovery powerful. These days the fury is dripping and a slow sort of trudge as other little bits start to break down is a bit depressing.


Typically, I'm really vain. I'd stick with it all if I still looked pretty . This year I've been seeing a gastroenterologist for some stuff that I suppose I should be quite worried about health wise. I'm more worried about appearing to be a picky eater, and the fact I got rosacea this year too. .

More worried isn,t quite right, of course, its not great that life hurts and I'm gonna die one day and all that (actually, I think the jury is out on that, because I wasn't meant to make thirty, so I didn't start a pension, now I am thirty four not planning on kicking the bucket and wondering if I should have done!)

I don't believe in comparing woes. I think everyone has rubbish in their lives. I do believe in counting blessings, and I have a tremendous amount of them.

SingleSue

lostinrates wrote: »

Thanks, yes, that's the problem, I have looked on it as a watershed.


Hmm. I need to think. About that. I'm really kind of surprised no one else seems to have struggled with this. I feel a bit more of a freak now :D


I don't think I need cbt. I cope quite well, I'm quite bullish about the pain and work through it well, and have tried some of the alternatives like acupuncture offered in local pain clinic to no avail. I've got five consultants ATM, and lots of hospital appointments, I don't want pain clinic too, its the getting about that takes so much out of me and makes trying to keep up at home to any degree difficult.

I'm remarkably lucky in some ways, one is my stubborn nature, . (I have been known to sort of drag myself around on the ground and roll when I can,t walk,:o...alright at home and around my yard, not great out in town :rotfl: and I have a very high pain threshold. I can feel it alright, but I cope. I don't like the sort of pain relief that takes me 'out of myself' and remaining functional is key for me so I blunder through.

I have developed a bit of a doctor phobia over this time, which I think gets confused with depression. I get down, who doesn't, even perfectly well and very blessed people do! But I am lucky enough to feel not depressed. Some of the drugs I am on have a high risk of depression, I was on a bit of a suicide watch this summer with one, but I'm fine. I know that could change. If anything I get cross, or have the odd once in a blue moon weep, but then get on with things. Some times the pain brings me to tears, but not depression, just ruddy pain. . I rarely buy non water proof mascara these days.

In fact, that's the other way the doctor says I'm not helping myself. He says that by 'papering over the cracks' (his words) I don't let people see how bad it is at times. Now, I don't really know what one does about this, you cannot just give up trying. And sometimes front is what gets your through,

You are not the only one to struggle with it. I have had people telling me for the last 3 years to apply for a badge but still I struggle with the concept of it...despite now using a blooming wheelchair when we are out and about because I just cannot do the walking now.

A blue badge would be so helpful when I am on my own and not able to use the chair (I cannot self propel due to dislocating shoulders), for those little 'pops' into shops. Currently, if there is not a space available close to the shop, I give up and drive on as my mobility and pain levels are such that my body just would not be able to cope with the walk from the car, the pop into the shop (or bank) and walk back to the car.

But still I get the wobblies about applying for the blooming badge (or any other disability concession or benefit)

Parva

There's nothing to lose by applying and everything to gain. The worst they can do is say no.

lostinrates

Sue, now you see, I know you get it, and having been chatting to you for so many years I agree with everyone else you should get one. I very clearly see the need and benefit in your ( physical) case. You ( and J) are risking damage to yourselves by pushing too hard, right?!

You know I'm not a hugger Sue, but please take care of yourself!

Parva

So many posts here and so little knowledge of these things.....

lostinrates

Parva wrote: »

So many posts here and so little knowledge of these things.....

Me? I am afraid I mainly use the site not for its original purpose. My 'home' board is the debate economy board. Where I chat more than debate these days . I also spend time on old style, the marriages board and green fingered.

I've never needed to know about 'these things'. Because I've been lucky enough to cope and be really well supported in all ways at home.

Last year one of my parents moved in with us. This works quite well. It means that on days I cannot do as much someone else is here, but also I'm here for them. Its taken pressure off my DH who works away mon to fri. I miss my time alone, but my parent is happier not to be alone.

Anyway, point is...we've been ok.

Also, seems to me that a lot of the boards are very 'heated'. One could, if they so wished, see a post like yours as incendiary. And frankly, I don't court that in my personal life. So I have tended to shy away from as,one personal advice. It would be a shame to be proven right on that first instinct.

ukmaggie45

Hi LiR, if I were you I'd apply for the badge, especially since your GP recommends it. I got mine automatically when I got DLA top rate mobility. I don't use the badge very often, as I don't go out very often to places where there is difficulty parking. But was very glad to have it when DD2 invited us to a reception at the Town Hall for the launch of a book she has some writings in. We were able to park right by the Town Hall, which meant we didn't have miles to trundle the wheelchair, so I was able to enjoy the reception. If we'd had to park miles away I'd have been too exhausted after a long trundle to enjoy things. As it was it was lovely, and we got to meet the Lord Mayor of Liverpool, who is such a lovely person. :j (this was the Lord Mayor, not the Mayor!) Sorry, going a bit off topic I guess, but just trying to show you how having the Blue Badge has improved my life! Go for it! :beer:

lostinrates

I just thought I'd update this.

We had to change cars, and my husband took the opportunity to ask me not to think about it, put it off or say maybe next time I had a reason to but just to get on with it and see if they grant it or not. He's never asked me to do something I don't really want to as regards managing my health but he really feels this would improve my quality of life so I agreed.

No saying it will be granted of course, but, I finally gave in.

malebolge

Hi, lostinrates. You asked in your original post about how others in a similar situation felt and about applying for a blue badge. When I read your comments, I did see some of myself some years ago in what you've written. I started to become ill over 12 years ago but because both myself & my husband had good jobs, I never considered applying for anything, and basically just adapted my lifestyle. Like you, I avoided applying for a blue badge because - well I used to think .... ok I know I can't walk more than a few yards without losing breath and having to stop for a while, but I can then carry on so I'd not be eligible. Things got worse (I have a combination of progressive illnesses) and I had to go from full time work to part time, but still didn't think of myself as 'disabled'. It was more other people who used to tell me that I should apply for things. Following 2 heart attacks that left me even less able to walk any distance, I finally applied for a blue badge but for ages after used to feel guilty about using it. I went down to 2 days work a week, but even that was a struggle and after collapsing at work it was suggested to me that I apply for ill health retirement. I did, but was convinced I'd never get it as I could manage. It actually went through very quickly - it felt weird to see an assessment of 'totally incapable of performing any type of work, even sedentary' and seeing my conditions in black & white. I then applied for PIP, again sure that I'd never get it. I had all the info from my specialists, 2 of whom were very surprised I hadn't applied some time ago. The assessor told me that he had ample medical proof and I know some people have waited months, but my claim was sorted in 11 weeks total - enhanced for both areas. I think my biggest denial was over walking. I finally accepted that a wheelchair was the only option but it was a huge decision. Because I can walk a few steps, I felt like I was using it when I shouldn't. Recently, something happened that made me look differently about my illness. My husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly. I am lucky - I have a great family but it has really opened my eyes to how I was able to deny being 'disabled' because of what he did for me. It's a hard thing to accept this, and I think that's what you are doing - adapting, denying, and because you have an OH who supports you, perhaps not realising that you do need things such as a blue badge etc. Imagine on a bad day, on your own - if you would need that help, then you shouldn't feel as if you aren't entitled. You are. It's hard to accept it - but believe me, it's not giving in to anything, just being pragmatic about what you can and can't do. Good luck !