Did you feel ready to have a baby?

dingdongavoncalling

I've always known I wanted children one day and now my partner and I are in our mid 20's, almost married, home owners with good jobs we have started talking about when to start trying.
I'm really excited...but then suddenly the thought of never being just us two alone dawns on me and the reality of the huge responsibility makes me wonder if I am definitely ready. Is this normal? Will it ever really go away?:o

Catty89

Sounds like your in a good position. I just had a baby 9 weeks ago and we still manage to have couple time as we have lots of family who want to look after him. You will probably find you dont want time alone at the beginning though haha.

We were very much ready were 24/26 and i have honestly been broody since i was about 18 haha, but there are some days when your pregnant with an aching back that you wonder if your doing the right thing but then you remember that of course you are!

pinkshoes

Ds is nearly 3 and I'm still not ready! You just go with the flow!

sulphate

Perfectly normal.

Husband and I were going to start trying now but decided not to on the basis he isn't earning a huge amount. TBH I am slightly relieved because I don't feel emotionally ready for the huge responsibility.

However, I don't think anyone can ever be 100% ready.

justme111

Well if you would want children in principle , ie are not adamant you want[STRIKE][/STRIKE] to leave the whole life childless and situation is ok for it (you are not living in.a shelter , have a partner you believe you are going to stay with , don't have major exams looming etc) then I think this time is as good as any or even better not to wait. Because while having a child is irrevocable in some way not having it now may have negative irrevocable consequences as well (health , partner , circumstances changing for worse ) and you will never get these years back. When I had my daughter I had 0 maternal instincts ,I never cooed to babies ,it was planned calculatingly and I never regretted it. I have not become blissfully happy mother after having her overnight , first couple of years were hard but I never questioned me having her , it was just a thing to do if I did not want to commit to childless life so I just got on with it. If my circumstances were diffrrent and right for a child earlier than I thought they were it would have actually been preferable as in that case I would have had time to have another child which I would have quite liked , with the experience I have I would have liked to rehearse having children and give my daughter brother or sister but it may be too late now.

In short , unless you certain you don't want children ever there is no reason to delay as if you have a child 10 years later you still will not be able to get back your child free status if you wanted to , its something that you accept as part of the deal and the deal only gets rougher the older you are.

double_mummy

nope not ready and mine are almost 7 and almost 4

we manage to have alone time occasionally but all your priorities change when you have them

you will always worry about what a massive responsibility having kids is and you wouldnt be a good parent if you didnt

claire16c

I've known for 2 years that I'm 'ready'.

I know people say if you waited until you were ready you'd never have them but that's not true for me at all,

I've been ready & waiting for a while!

Bangton

I didn't know if I ever wanted a baby. Then on 31st January this year I discovered I was pregnant after 12 years of being with my partner. Words can't begin to cover the fear ib felt. I mean I would literally have anxiety attacks everyday for weeks. Then weirdly one day I got up and felt happy and completely undaunted. Since then I've adored being pregnant and I'm 2 weeks away from meeting my little boy. I couldn't be happier. Had I not had an accidental pregnancy I can't help but feel like I probably wouldn't have actively tried. .. ever. Yet here I am truly overwhelmed and excited to have my baby with a man I completely and utterly adore. I thank my lucky stars now that in haven't missed out on having this moment because nothing in my life has ever come close. It's not for everyone but if you've always known you wanted them then your half way there. I doubt anyone goes into it calm and relaxed. Good luck

System

I was ready but still not prepared! Wouldn't have changed a thing though.

an9i77

I wasn't ready to have my first child as he was conceived accidentally, I didn't have a stable job, I had only known my partner a few months etc.
But I knew I didn't want an abortion so I made it the right time.
Looking back I was more worried about losing my freedom than I needed to be. You can still do a lot with a baby. you don't want to do half the things you used to want to do in any case.

continualdiamond

Ready - yes. Prepared - no and I'm 31.

Was never sure if I wanted children. Definitely knew middle 20's that I wasn't ready. I got married when I was 29 but even then I wasn't like right we're married lets have a family.

When I turned 30 I also managed to reach my goal of loosing a lot of weight and having a healthy bmi for the 1st time ever. We decided it then wasn't a good idea to have my body go through a weight change again so left it nearly a year before trying for a baby.

My life certainly isn't ideal, in the sense that last xmas my husband was told he was being made redundant in the Feb. Then a few weeks into Jan we found out I was pregnant. So the whole thing of us both having good jobs was suddenly out the window and of course neither of us thought it would only take 2 mths of trying for me to fall pregnant, we thought 6 mths - a year.

He was unemployed for 6 mths and has now taken on a job for the sake of a job but is earning a hell of a lot less than he did as it's only minimum wage.

Wouldn't change a thing though, we'll just do the best we can with what we've got. Though I am scared in the sense that I've only got 8 days until I'm due, in fact for the past few weeks we've made sure we've gone out somewhere, anywhere instead of just staying home before than option involves a lot more planning.