I am just sooo pleased for my OH!!!!!!!

FBaby

We had been desperate to find out what had happened to my great grand-mother (mother of my dear grand mother and her sister) after her husband dishonored and divorced her following a supposed affair. She was told to leave her two toddlers behind with their dad. We looked and looked without success and then suddenly, managed to find the great daughter of one of her brother. What is absolutely incredible is that the family was from southend, then my grand mother moved abroad. I came back to live in England but about many miles away. Well, I was completely gobsmacked when my research revealed that this family member lived....in the same town as me, about a mile away. A complete total coincidence! She moved here when her father decided to start a business here and me because of my partner. No family connection at all!
We met and it was very lovely and fun. We are on contact via facebook, but with our busy lives, we haven't the chance to meet again despite the closeness. Unfortunately she had never met my great grand-mother and her father had passed away, so we were no better off knowing, but it was incredible to meet someone from her family.

duchy

Thing is ......you never know if you are putting the cat amongst the pigeons or if in fact you are a family mystery that people know about and would love to see it resolved. Also we all make assumptions and often over the years family history comes from ome perspective and meeting them give another previously unthought of perspective.

We tiptoed on eggshells looking for my OHs birth mother when we found her it turned out all her subsequent kids and grand kids knew all about him and had even looked for him . You just don't know. I think a lot of people are very pragmatic rather than shocked at revelations tbh.

Don't feel deflated Meri.... Give him time to take it in. A family mystery is one thing ..... Finding real people and then realising you have to decide what if anything you are going to do about it can be quite daunting. Give him time.

Spendless

My husband also researches his family tree and finding a 'skeleton' is quite common as I'm sure you know and pretty much something to be aware of if it's your interest.

My DH has been contacted someone whose father was adopted to say when his Dad looked into his birth family, he discovered that his mother had had an affair with her sisters husband and become pregnant and his Dad was the result and had been adopted.

More recently my FIL had a cousin he knew nothing about, came forward. Her mum had had a baby secretly too.

In each case my husband has been the one approached as it is via him that they have been able to make the connection to their family.

meritaten

Melonade wrote: »

Wow that's some serious research you've done, well done and made up for your OH

I would contact the person to see what she says, IMO it's been a fair time and like you say she can use the info how she wants and she will know better than anyone if it would upset another family member. She'll no doubt be chuffed with the info you have too.

I am waiting on an email right now from someone researching on behalf of their friend. If I am the correct family member we will be getting the most amazing little bit of history ever.... excited!!!!!

Thanks - do let us know what happens! I love hearing other peoples FH stories!

meritaten

FBaby wrote: »

We had been desperate to find out what had happened to my great grand-mother (mother of my dear grand mother and her sister) after her husband dishonored and divorced her following a supposed affair. She was told to leave her two toddlers behind with their dad. We looked and looked without success and then suddenly, managed to find the great daughter of one of her brother. What is absolutely incredible is that the family was from southend, then my grand mother moved abroad. I came back to live in England but about many miles away. Well, I was completely gobsmacked when my research revealed that this family member lived....in the same town as me, about a mile away. A complete total coincidence! She moved here when her father decided to start a business here and me because of my partner. No family connection at all!
We met and it was very lovely and fun. We are on contact via facebook, but with our busy lives, we haven't the chance to meet again despite the closeness. Unfortunately she had never met my great grand-mother and her father had passed away, so we were no better off knowing, but it was incredible to meet someone from her family.

What an amazing story! You know, sometimes I feel that we are 'Led' to a discovery at the right time? and then something else turns up or something which didn't add up previously becomes crystal clear!
Don't give up on finding her..........it WILL happen if you persevere!

meritaten

duchy wrote: »

Thing is ......you never know if you are putting the cat amongst the pigeons or if in fact you are a family mystery that people know about and would love to see it resolved. Also we all make assumptions and often over the years family history comes from ome perspective and meeting them give another previously unthought of perspective.

We tiptoed on eggshells looking for my OHs birth mother when we found her it turned out all her subsequent kids and grand kids knew all about him and had even looked for him . You just don't know. I think a lot of people are very pragmatic rather than shocked at revelations tbh.

Don't feel deflated Meri.... Give him time to take it in. A family mystery is one thing ..... Finding real people and then realising you have to decide what if anything you are going to do about it can be quite daunting. Give him time.

You are absolutely right, we get caught up in OUR perceptions of events not realising the other party may have a different view - and if we don't at least make contact we wont know!

meritaten

Spendless wrote: »

My husband also researches his family tree and finding a 'skeleton' is quite common as I'm sure you know and pretty much something to be aware of if it's your interest.

My DH has been contacted someone whose father was adopted to say when his Dad looked into his birth family, he discovered that his mother had had an affair with her sisters husband and become pregnant and his Dad was the result and had been adopted.

More recently my FIL had a cousin he knew nothing about, came forward. Her mum had had a baby secretly too.

In each case my husband has been the one approached as it is via him that they have been able to make the connection to their family.

wow - active lot back in the 'olden days' weren't they?

yes perhaps it may be best to contact someone a few generations removed - the young tend to be more tolerant of 'lapses' don't they?
this young lady will know her own family best and for all I know they knew all about FIL!

jackomdj

meritaten wrote: »

wow - active lot back in the 'olden days' weren't they?
!

Very active. My Grandads brother was about to go off to war and asked my Grandad to "look after" his girlfriend. My grandad took good care of her, even had a tattoo of her name on his lower arm. His brother eventually came home and married the girlfriend, so my grandad ended up with a tattoo of his SIL name in a prominent place. He then met and married my gran, their first child was born about 5 months after their wedding.

Makes me smile just thinking about him. He led an incredible life, although not always the kindest of men to his children, he was the first person that wasn't an officer to get an OBE, which my Uncle then swapped for some marbles (luckily his regiment was able to arrange a duplicate of the medal for him).

sharnad

So nice we have recently found out about my grandfathers side who was born in the Falklands but only three generation were born there, spend has managed to trace that line back to the early 1600s. It's really interesting

Yorkie1

1600s! Wow, well done! One of my lines ran out in Huntingdonshire in the mid 1800s ... all those non-conformists and lack of records grrr!