Finally - deep breath - Zulu Dawn SOA

Kaz2904

OK so 1 bottle per evening is not really a high consumption. Now you need to look at where do you get wine from? Could you buy it for less and can you cut it down?
We don't drink that amount but it's because I'm a lightweight and work 3-4 nights a week!
I understand that you are in that kind of world and really there are 2 ways to go. You can either go the good life way where people think OMG they're mad or you can be devious and cut back without people even realising that is what you are doing.
EG the cars- you have watched a film and don't wish to contribute to global waste until you know more about the newest technology that is going to take a few years to be widely available but you're prepared to wait.
You buy the high quality clothes but circulate your wardrobe.
You don't decorate but repaint with neutral colours (if necessary and do yourself) and say you are going for a feng shui look- that gives you leeway to get far more stuff on ebay! If you buy solid wood furniture or well designed meatls then they will stand the test of time or go to auctions and you can get old style furniture for next to nothing and say that you want a new hobby?!
Why would you want to go away for all these weekends- and if you do go camping- (It's not for us it's for the kids they love it!). Skiing? Broken bones. Like I said utilise the Tesco clubcard scheme so that it is not coming out as an extra.
It might be a chance to say actually I want to redecorate so and so and do it yourselves so that friends cant say Oh you've not been away?- No I've been busy- or set up a vegetable plot in your garden (I want a more eco friendly way of life).
I feel for you as we are in the keeping up with the Jones's type situation but not to the same scale and it's not as hard for us as I control the bidget and don't give a rats !!!!! what people think of wat I spend my money on.- I earn it and I'll spend it as I please!

wisbech_lad

You can still have the wine, just have it once or twice a week. Will make it more of a treat. I can recomment Paralelle 45 (by Jaboulet) as a very pleasant wine for the price.

The house is a difficult one - yes, on face of it you would be better off selling and renting, but... only if you can trust yourself. The mortgage is forced saving (unless it is IO?) which you may need.

Yes, look around for better paid job, but be careful. "last in, first out" usually applies.

Petrol IS high - can you get more efficient car?

Food IS high. I know how important it is to eat well, but you can continue to eat very well and spend less by, e.g. eating less meat, having two 'vegetarian' days a week. Egg curries, pizza margerita, home made vegetable soup, all delicious and cheap

Ironing. Well, we have a maid too... but I actually enjoy ironing in an odd way. Doesn't take long on a Sunday night while watching MoTD, and you only need to iron some clothes - no ironing socks!

Keeping up with the Jones - well, hopefully your LBM has given you enough maturity to realise what a crock this is. If you need to justify your new, low spending ways - remember it is for the children. You are concerned about the future of the planet, and the impact of a materialistic lifestyle, and so have decided to reduce your carbon footprint, not cut back!

Your friends are probably remortgaging to heck to pay for all that. It's a fool's chase.

FWIW, I earn about the same as you, have 700,000 in savings, no debts. My wife and I can't have children - we've come to peace with it but it still gives me a pang when I see a father playing with his children. You are a rich man in my eyes

Zulu_Dawn

You are a rich man in my eyes

Thank you. I agree with you.

Scottishmummy

wisbech_lad wrote: »

FWIW, I earn about the same as you, have 700,000 in savings, no debts. My wife and I can't have children - we've come to peace with it but it still gives me a pang when I see a father playing with his children. You are a rich man in my eyes

Gosh that just brought a tear to my eyes. What a lovely post wisbech:A

DontDoDebtKids

ZD,

I don't earn quite as much as you, but I'm not far off! I also have the "problem" of a well off circle of friends/acquaintances, but no longer feel the need to "keep up with them" and actually doubt they even notice (I'm getting a reputation for being an oddball but not a scrooge).

I've changed my attitude to spending over the past two years and now am perfectly happy to drive around in a battered old skoda (highly recommended as not even looked at by thieves, people get out of your way because they think you don't care about your car AND it's cheap to run but actually the newer ones look quite smart). I now have the worst car in my road and it amuses me greatly. I shudder when I think how much each car cost and how much it must cost per month to keep it (and then I start to think how many hours one has to work to bring home that amount of bacon...).

I particularly enjoy things like having a veg plot, cooking all my meals from scratch, getting bargains on wine (try The Wine Society and trips to France) and, though she moans sometimes, my partner quite happily does the washing and ironing while watching TV or while I'm cooking/washing up. I'm not sure we'd spend the time saved by employing someone to do our ironing usefully, we'd miss the money AND worst of all is the thought of HAVING to employ someone. It's a hassle, I hate managing people really - we both get enough of that at work thanks - so I'd rather do it myself.

Presents are now cunningly recycled or bought in sales as a general present and put in a present box until needed. I don't want any more "stuff" and generally other people I know don't actually want "stuff" anyway so it works. We now also make our own cards, which takes alot of the stress out of finding cards and also means you can be more creative while still being last minute about it.

If anyone asks, just say you're going down the "enviromental" route - growing your own food, not buying anything packaged, buying second hand stuff. Read "How To Be Free" for some ideas and a book to recommend to them to get them thinking...

The benefits of my lifestyle change are that I can now afford to save/invest £2000 a month (64% of my take home pay) and still live really quite comfortably (lots of wine/beer if I want to, can go out for the odd meal, can go on cheap skiing deals & cheap weekend breaks as long as they are last minute bargains - skiing for £247, 4 day weekend break going business class and staying in 4* hotel £333 anyone?).

Edit: A question to think about and a good quote to, hopefully, get you thinking:

Q: Which would you rather: to appear rich or to be rich?

Quote: "A miser grows rich by seeming poor. An extravagent man grows poor by seeming rich." William Shakespeare.

Steel_2

In case it hasn't already been mentioned:

a) When you come to sorting out your credit cards, if you have income protection insurance cancel it straight away. That could save you some money.

b) Shop at Tesco to collect the free money-off vouchers and redeem them in deals on items that can be used as gifts. I did this recently by using £9.60 of our free vouchers in exchange for a subscription to Zest magazine for my sister-in-law's birthday. I'll be doing a similar thing for my mother-in-law and Gardeners World magazine.

c) Cancel your contract with O2 and switch to PAYG and then make sure you only use it for texts. I went from £25 a month to less than £10. I stopped using it after a while and now couldn't even tell you where it is.

calleyw

wisbech_lad wrote: »

My wife and I can't have children - we've come to peace with it but it still gives me a pang when I see a father playing with his children. You are a rich man in my eyes

It is so easy to get caught up in spend, spend, spend.

My husband almost died after suffering a stroke at the grand old age of 44 last september, it has cut our income inhalf and I am only working and I am not sure if he will ever be able to again.

It puts your life in to sharp relief and makes realise how lucky I am to have him alive and money really means so little to me. Not that I was materalistic before.

Spending time with children does not mean spending lots of money but time. The same with the wife it is about the thought not the money spent. The same with presents. I rarely spend over £5 per preson for brithdays etc. But then I track down presents when reduced use, vouchers earned from website, freebies etc.

I wish you all the best with your debt free journey remember money is not everything.

Yours


Calley

Zulu_Dawn

Quote: "A miser grows rich by seeming poor. An extravagent man grows poor by seeming rich." William Shakespeare.

I do know a couple of misers who are incredibly wealthy. I know I don't want to end up there.

This is turning into a great thread. Thank you to all who have contributed.

I waited nine months to pluck up the courage to stick up my SOA because I felt my circumstances were somehow different to others and that people wouldn't understand. I've been overwhelmed by the kind words, suggestions and support and wold urge others who are currently sitting nervously in the dark to throw open their windows and come into the "virtual" light.

My signature steals a line from my favourite film and recognises the importance of relationships in this life. At my lowest ebb, all I had left were my family and friends and it was their support that kept me going. This site is effectively a wonderful community of people who are trying to support each other and I am so glad to be a part of it and I am determined not to let you all down.

DF - here I come!!!!!!!!!!!



ZD

Zulu_Dawn

Yippee

My monthly gas standing order has just been reduced to £59!!!:j

Only another £596 per month to go and I can meet all my payments.

FirstTimer4Me

Hi ZD

I've only just come across this thread, however, you know I'm in no position to offer any advice, I just want to say, thanks for your comments, and advice on my thread, my thoughts are with you :beer: