Protecting my inheritance

fluffnutter

January20 wrote: »

Its so easy to judge people on little information! I wonder how many of those who have would be happy to share a large inheritance if they were in a "bad" marriage". Not many I would think.

"Never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes" comes to mind!

I thought this was a money saving site? It's a wonder people still ask for help!

I'm not judging anyone. I'm saying the marriage isn't working. Which is what you're saying.

Torry_Quine

fluffnutter wrote: »

If you don't want your husband to share your inheritance, something is amiss.

I have to agree, the question suggests this is not a good marriage.

Tropez

fluffnutter wrote: »

I'm not judging anyone. I'm saying the marriage isn't working. Which is what you're saying.

It could be working just fine though and the OP is a natural worrier or pragmatist. Not enough information has been given to us to make any real judgement call.

Netwizard

Tropez wrote: »

It could be working just fine though and the OP is a natural worrier or pragmatist. Not enough information has been given to us to make any real judgement call.

Im 29 and single but if I was to get involved with someone, I too worry about things like this. I own my own house, and the last thing I would want is someone taking half of it off me!

I guess reading this sits and seeing a lot of work colleagues marriages to belly up (one in particular lost a hell of a lot) doesn't help my "glass half empty" approach, but I can completely understand the OP wanting protection.

Who knows what the future holds? I would be sick to the stomach if money intended for me and only me, got dished put to the other party in the event of a split.

kboss2010

Why should being married entitle you to your OH's money? It's one of the reasons I don't want to get married but if my bf and I buy a property, for example, and I paid the full deposit, I'd expect that if we ever sold that I would get my whole deposit back not just half because we both lived there!

That opinion wouldn't change if we got married.

maman

kboss2010 wrote: »

Why should being married entitle you to your OH's money? It's one of the reasons I don't want to get married but if my bf and I buy a property, for example, and I paid the full deposit, I'd expect that if we ever sold that I would get my whole deposit back not just half because we both lived there!

That opinion wouldn't change if we got married.

Sadly, while you might expect it, the courts might decide otherwise.

Tropez

kboss2010 wrote: »

Why should being married entitle you to your OH's money? It's one of the reasons I don't want to get married but if my bf and I buy a property, for example, and I paid the full deposit, I'd expect that if we ever sold that I would get my whole deposit back not just half because we both lived there!

That opinion wouldn't change if we got married.

I agree with this.

I'm getting married in a few months and I have no interest in my future wife's money, property, business etc. My interest in her is for her as a person, not whatever financial assets she brings or doesn't bring to the marriage.

Similarly, she's never shown an interest in what I have. She's never asked me what I earn and I seem to recall the very first post I made here years ago was after she had told me off for spending too much money on her! :rotfl:

I understand that some people see marriage as a partnership of everything; people, assets, wealth, goods etc. but I don't and I think given the statistics that show that marriage is a significant financial risk with the way the law stands, thinking about the worst happening and planning accordingly is a prudent move.

To me, it's no different than taking out life insurance. By taking out life insurance, I'm not expecting to drop dead any time soon but I do have the knowledge that if the worst does happen things will be taken care of.

Netwizard

Good post and sums up my opinion also. I cant ever see myself ever getting married. Far too many people get taken to the cleaners nowadays

maman

Netwizard wrote: »

Good post and sums up my opinion also. I cant ever see myself ever getting married. Far too many people get taken to the cleaners nowadays

Totally agree.

We often get threads about how couples handle money and I hate all this communal pot idea. Too many women see men as a meal ticket IMO.

marisco_2

Tropez wrote: »

I understand that some people see marriage as a partnership of everything; people, assets, wealth, goods etc. but I don't and I think given the statistics that show that marriage is a significant financial risk with the way the law stands, thinking about the worst happening and planning accordingly is a prudent move.

I agree with you. It could well be that the OP shared everything with partners in past relationships and ended up getting financially stung when things fell apart. I learnt the hard way that you only ever put yourself through that experience once. You become very cautious about guarding the assets you have possibly spent years accumulating and any money you inherit. Someone showing a natural desire to not lose everything on the possibility that a relationship may fail, is no indication of how much they love their partner or their level of commitment to them. It is just showing common sense.