Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Hi Chev,


No, I haven't taken anything for as long as 6 months but tried a few different things all of which made me somewhat worse. I don't believe they work, not for me anyhow. The doctors are all too happy to give me drugs that make me more ill but refuse to give me anything stronger than things you can find over the counter to help me sleep, which is a big issue. To be honest and judging by some of the idiots from school that went on to study medicine, I think most of them don't have a clue.


The counselling became too difficult and got to the point that I was avoiding the topic. I realised that and didn't want to be wasting money on something that I dreaded going to and ended up spending the whole session avoiding the issues anyway.


I still have suicidal thoughts regularly but am also now utterly terrified of trying. My life is not worth the effort but I don't want to die either.


You're right about me giving up if things aren't "fixed quickly", not offended by that comment. I didn't used to be like this until I realised my efforts were all a waste. The few things I've wanted in life I've failed to achieve through wanting it too badly or because of my parents.


Would rather not think about the house at the moment, yes I do have a "house worth of goals" but it's still standing after all this time. As far as the mortgage goes, I'm not sure there is any point as we are going to end up living with my parents anyhow. Happy to hear whether it makes any financial sense from those on here that are good at this type of thing but from where I'm standing I can't see the point?


As for going away with my son, we are only going to Spain and my mother is sorting it out.

heartbreak_star

How long did you try the meds for? They can make you feel worse for up to 3-4 weeks while they get into your system - I had some trouble getting my head around that but they did help me after I got through those few weeks.

Sleeping tablets are incredibly addictive and docs will not give them out except under very specific diagnostic standards.

Did you ever try CBT? It can be excellent for catastrophic thinking.

I would have gone into medicine, but I didn't get the A-levels required and my family could never have afforded it. I prefer the science side of things anyway

HBS x

AlexLK

HBS: I did try it for 2-3 months, so more than a couple of weeks.

Frankly, I'm beyond caring how addictive something is.

My doctor was meant to be referring me for CBT though it has not come into fruition thus far.

I'm sure not all medics are idiots, HBS. I just remember the ones I knew not being particularly academically minded, more very good at working hard, remembering facts and having idealistic views. Rather smug about choosing Medicine but didn't like it being pointed out that real Drs have a PhD not two undergrad qualifications.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

HBS: I did try it for 2-3 months, so more than a couple of weeks.

Frankly, I'm beyond caring how addictive something is.

My doctor was meant to be referring me for CBT though it has not come into fruition thus far.

I'm sure not all medics are idiots, HBS. I just remember the ones I knew not being particularly academically minded, more very good at working hard, remembering facts and having idealistic views. Rather smug about choosing Medicine but didn't like it being pointed out that real Drs have a PhD not two undergrad qualifications.

Alex, it's really frustrating that the solutions to many of your problems are there for all (including you) to see but that your depression stops you from getting on with it. If it's frustrating for us then it must be doubly so for you. Plus, (although I'm not making light of your responsibilities to your parents) some motivation is removed as you have your financial future secured. I have no personal experience of mental health issues but I can't see that doing nothing is a sensible option. Why not go back and badger for the CBT?


I find your views on doctors really strange, or rather your views on education and what's to be valued. What's not to commend in working hard and being idealistic? What's not to commend in having two undergrad qualifications? Generalising is bad as some PhD's are just perpetual students although I suspect that getting one of those requires a fair amount of hard work.


I think we all have our prejudices, whether they be from upbringing (or reading the wrong newspaper:rotfl:) but I prefer to reserve mine for those who scrounge off others (whether they be benefit cheats or tax dodgers) rather than someone who's chosen a 'vocational' degree rather than study for study's sake.


Good to hear the holiday's going ahead. Doesn't really matter who's organising it. Perhaps you can make some plans for what to do when you're there and perhaps teach Little K a few Spanish words in readiness.:)

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

Alex, it's really frustrating that the solutions to many of your problems are there for all (including you) to see but that your depression stops you from getting on with it. If it's frustrating for us then it must be doubly so for you. Plus, (although I'm not making light of your responsibilities to your parents) some motivation is removed as you have your financial future secured. I have no personal experience of mental health issues but I can't see that doing nothing is a sensible option. Why not go back and badger for the CBT?

Unfortunately, it has taken over my life and I've no idea how to change my mind set. Yes it is very frustrating, there are so many times I want to have a productive day but somehow can't.


I haven't gone back to my GP because I am struggling to deal with day to day life without adding appointments to further complicate the day.

maman wrote: »

I find your views on doctors really strange, or rather your views on education and what's to be valued. What's not to commend in working hard and being idealistic? What's not to commend in having two undergrad qualifications? Generalising is bad as some PhD's are just perpetual students although I suspect that getting one of those requires a fair amount of hard work.

I have not said working hard and being idealistic is not commendable. However, academia was not designed to issue certificates relating to a student's idealistic qualities. Working hard is a different matter as to succeed, one must work hard in some way or another.


Likewise, there is lots to commend about someone obtaining two undergraduate degrees. Still, that in itself does not give a student the right to use the title "Dr" in any other field, so why should they be allowed to do so in the field of Medicine? What is wrong with being a "perpetual student"?

maman wrote: »

I think we all have our prejudices, whether they be from upbringing (or reading the wrong newspaper:rotfl:) but I prefer to reserve mine for those who scrounge off others (whether they be benefit cheats or tax dodgers) rather than someone who's chosen a 'vocational' degree rather than study for study's sake.

I do not have anything against the medical profession and the majority have my respect for what they do is admirable. However, I do not trust that they have the answers to my problems. So far as my earlier comments go, I believe judging by certain individuals and contrary to popular opinion that medical students are not necessarily the "brightest and best".

You and I certainly agree about the benefits cheats, though.

maman wrote: »

Good to hear the holiday's going ahead. Doesn't really matter who's organising it. Perhaps you can make some plans for what to do when you're there and perhaps teach Little K a few Spanish words in readiness.:)

My son would love that, thank you for the suggestion.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

My son would love that, thank you for the suggestion.

Oh, a well behaved little boy who can speak a few words of Spanish - they'd dote on him :T.

AlexLK

I think so, gallygirl.


I really enjoy teaching my son new things. Think I have a few goals for 2015 there: teach my son a few words in Spanish, be the best father I can be, visit the potential schools (again ) and let him have a say.

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

Unfortunately, it has taken over my life and I've no idea how to change my mind set. Yes it is very frustrating, there are so many times I want to have a productive day but somehow can't.

Persevere with CBT, it's made to help this

I haven't gone back to my GP because I am struggling to deal with day to day life without adding appointments to further complicate the day.

Hmmm...the angel on my shoulder is sympathising but the devil is saying "is that a cop-out?" If it's any help to you however, they said the same to me when I was putting off ED treatment...

I have not said working hard and being idealistic is not commendable. However, academia was not designed to issue certificates relating to a student's idealistic qualities. Working hard is a different matter as to succeed, one must work hard in some way or another.

There are tooooooo many sides to academia now.

Likewise, there is lots to commend about someone obtaining two undergraduate degrees. Still, that in itself does not give a student the right to use the title "Dr" in any other field, so why should they be allowed to do so in the field of Medicine? What is wrong with being a "perpetual student"?

Perpetual students annoy me unless they also have jobs and are paying taxes - it's another form of just taking and not giving anythig back.

For example, I know a girl whose parents have supported her through 2 degrees and a masters, and she has stated she never has any intention of working. Why take the places of people that are actually going to use those qualifications then?? Why not just bot around and self-educate?


I do not have anything against the medical profession and the majority have my respect for what they do is admirable. However, I do not trust that they have the answers to my problems. So far as my earlier comments go, I believe judging by certain individuals and contrary to popular opinion that medical students are not necessarily the "brightest and best".

There's always one buffoon - I found him when he marked the wrong leg up for my knee op Doctors are like...well, use the fairytale analogy, you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince. One doc might be confounded, one may be the best help ever.

You and I certainly agree about the benefits cheats, though.

I get just as irritated, if not more so, at tax-dodging corporations, overpaid footballers/"celebrities", and bankers etc paying themselves bonuses.

My son would love that, thank you for the suggestion.

Ahhh it will be so cute, even if he just learns hello and goodbye they will love him!

Slightly vodka-garbled comments in my traditional purple :rotfl:(hey, it's to recuperate after a very hard gym session!)

Hope I haven't been offensive. I certainly don't mean to be *worries*

HBS x

AlexLK

HBS: Not offensive at all, thanks.


I do need to try getting on with things, more because I don't want my son picking up on my bad behaviour than anything else. Can't say I'd be too impressed should he get to my age and finds he cannot be bothered because money is not an issue. I want him to enjoy life but there seems to be a lot of research saying children pick up on the traits of their parents. It disturbs me quite enough that he always wants to play a "game" of "picking up furniture".


After two days completely failing to do any work that hasn't involved seeing customers I had prior appointments with, I realise I need to get on with it and also finish the essay I'm writing for the course. Need to stop asking myself what "the point" is or dwelling on the fact I'm not exactly enthralled with what life has to offer and start that To Do list again.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

HBS: Not offensive at all, thanks.


I do need to try getting on with things, more because I don't want my son picking up on my bad behaviour than anything else. Can't say I'd be too impressed should he get to my age and finds he cannot be bothered because money is not an issue. I want him to enjoy life but there seems to be a lot of research saying children pick up on the traits of their parents. It disturbs me quite enough that he always wants to play a "game" of "picking up furniture".


After two days completely failing to do any work that hasn't involved seeing customers I had prior appointments with, I realise I need to get on with it and also finish the essay I'm writing for the course. Need to stop asking myself what "the point" is or dwelling on the fact I'm not exactly enthralled with what life has to offer and start that To Do list again.

You wrote that two hours ago!! I'm off to look for the 'kick up the proverbial' smiley!:rotfl: