Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

Does to me, which is slightly worrying :rotfl:. Basically you're proposing to rob Peter to pay Paul but as you owe both Peter and Paul I think that's ok .

Not sure THAT makes much sense .

Makes sense to me.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

My apologies for being brutal here: That's not impeccable manners then, is it? It's pure snobbery.
Good manners is polite or well-bred social behaviour. Being polite is having or showing behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. Snobbery is the character or quality of being a snob. A snob is a person with an exaggerated respect for high social position or wealth who seeks to associate with social superiors and looks down on those regarded as socially inferior. (OED)

I think that everyone is a snob at times. However if a person has good manners, those they regard as their social inferiors or superiors (rightly or wrongly) should never suspect - if they do, that person does NOT have good manners.
I got taught this at home - by both parents & grandparents - very firmly. AND at school! We had the example of the impeccable manners of the Royal Family drummed into us until we were heartily SICK of it (that was pre Fergie & co.:p) at ours!
Surely you got taught that very basic lesson at your public school, too?

Couldn't agree more with you, there! But Alex has come on a lot since being "rehabilitated" on MSE so can maybe see that now!

, unfortunately I agree with everything you have said.

gallygirl wrote: »

Alex, I wonder if she succeeded more because of her drive, work ethic & ambition rather than her snobbery & outright rudeness to those considered her social inferiors... who knows if she would have been even more successful if she had taken the time to be polite not only to those she considered important or useful but also to the "little people" that worked for them? :cool:

I understand where you are coming from and despite trying to defend my family, am inclined to agree with you.

gallygirl wrote: »

I seem to remember you saying some pages back that your parents are growing more isolated by the year & that you have difficulty finding people who will come to their annual party... is this a consequence perhaps of their attitude towards others or have they been unlucky in that many of their friends died younger than expected?

They mainly used to invite their employees and family friends. Now they are long retired I am given the task of finding people to come as it greatly upsets both of them the amount of people that do not wish to.

gallygirl wrote: »

If the former, their attitudes CAN change & the insecurity they feel about someone "discovering" their origins will go, leaving them happier people with a greater ability to find friends & enlarge their social circle. It will not be a walk in the park, though & you would have to lead by example!
I bet they are great people when relaxed & at ease...

They are and I hate to see them unhappy, especially as they are both getting older and my wife, son and I are often the only people they see all week.

gallygirl wrote: »

Your parents really need to understand that true class is not a question of birth & possessions... I'm putting in a quote here as this lady said it much better than I ever could:

“Class never runs scared. It is sure-footed and confident.
It can handle anything that comes along. Class has a sense of humour.
It knows a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations.

Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes.
Class knows that good manners are nothing more than a series of small, inconsequential sacrifices.

Class bespeaks an aristocracy that has nothing to do with ancestors or money.
Some wealthy “blue bloods” have no class, while individuals who are struggling to make ends meet are loaded with it.

Class is real. It can’t be faked.

Class never tried to build itself by tearing others down.
Class is already up and need not strive to look better by making others look worse.

Class can “walk with kings and keep it’s virtue and talk with crowds and keep the common touch.” Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because that person is comfortable with himself.

If you have class, you’ve got it made.
If you don’t have class, no matter what else you have, it doesn’t make any difference.”
― Ann Landers

These are ideals I try to live up to but I'm not sure I achieve more than occasionally.
And I bet there are a load more people on MSE with class who are poor or (shock, horror milady!) low born than rich or aristocratic...

I'm sure you can appreciate I've found this awfully difficult to write but I too have recently tried not to look down on others. Not that I actually have any reason to look down on others these days and perhaps I never did.

AlexLK

Rosepetal1701 wrote: »

Hey there - just made the connection :rotfl:I've been reading through the posts and seems to me that when you decide to do something (eg the party) you plan it, then follow through! That shows determination - remember that when dealing with the bank!

Erm, yes; doesn't everybody follow through with their plans? I may speak a lot of nonsense but I do try to not go back on my plans.

Mara_uk7

And Alex, you've discovered that some of these people you used to look down on, are really not so different to you.... , in fact some of them are better educated, and probably better off, and possibly even better bred ...

Im proud that you're realising this and acting on it.

This is a hard journey for you, and not just financially . You're doing grand lad

EchoDelta

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

And Alex, you've discovered that some of these people you used to look down on, are really not so different to you.... , in fact some of them are better educated, and probably better off, and possibly even better bred ...

Im proud that you're realising this and acting on it.

This is a hard journey for you, and not just financially . You're doing grand lad

You really are

Your party bags sound awesome btw.

AlexLK

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

And Alex, you've discovered that some of these people you used to look down on, are really not so different to you.... , in fact some of them are better educated, and probably better off, and possibly even better bred ...

Im proud that you're realising this and acting on it.

This is a hard journey for you, and not just financially . You're doing grand lad

EchoDelta wrote: »

You really are

Your party bags sound awesome btw.

Thank you both, it means a lot especially when things are difficult.

I am trying to change not only my financial situation but my whole outlook on life (which did lead to the financial trouble in part), it was not meant to get entwined on this diary but it did.

...And of course my party bags sound awesome ... I made them.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you both, it means a lot especially when things are difficult.

I am trying to change not only my financial situation but my whole outlook on life (which did lead to the financial trouble in part), it was not meant to get entwined on this diary but it did.

To be honest Alex, it's the most interesting part :rotfl:.

*Robin*

AlexLK wrote: »

They mainly used to invite their employees and family friends. Now they are long retired I am given the task of finding people to come as it greatly upsets both of them the amount of people that do not wish to.

Time to suggest replacing the Christmas [? sorry not read every page, your diary moves too fast Alex!] party with a festive cruise/holiday?

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm sure you can appreciate I've found this awfully difficult to write but I too have recently tried not to look down on others. Not that I actually have any reason to look down on others these days and perhaps I never did.

There is only one acceptable excuse for looking down on anybody: Because you are reaching out to give 'em a hand up! :cool2:

Goldiegirl

Alex, re the income from the music teaching, it'd be best to let your accountant know about this income stream - just to make sure there's no tax demand at a later date, when you are debt free!

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

To be honest Alex, it's the most interesting part :rotfl:.

Glad I manage to amuse you, gallygirl.

*Robin* wrote: »

Time to suggest replacing the Christmas [? sorry not read every page, your diary moves too fast Alex!] party with a festive cruise/holiday?

I don't think that will happen now they have their grandson, they'd hate to miss seeing him on Christmas day. Reckon they also still like to watch my face when I open my new toys too. :rotfl:

*Robin* wrote: »

There is only one acceptable excuse for looking down on anybody: Because you are reaching out to give 'em a hand up! :cool2:

I shall have to remember that.

AlexLK

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Alex, re the income from the music teaching, it'd be best to let your accountant know about this income stream - just to make sure there's no tax demand at a later date, when you are debt free!

I didn't make myself very clear in my earlier post, my accountant knows even though I am doing "the books" for the music teaching.