Convincing your partner to be a little more, uhm, moderated with their food?

aliasojo

Mojisola wrote: »

If the real problems are his job and other feelings, it's no use trying to tackle his comfort eating -

This.

Take it from one who knows.

If you can change the root cause then you can change the behaviour.

I understand sometimes there are certain root causes you can do nothing about but you could maybe start planting the seeds of change in his mind by casually talking about college more and the positive aspects of it. Eventually he might just become more pro-active himself.

It's a very hard kind of situation to deal with. Sometime you feel like that is your only 'outlet' or your only comfort supply. I'm sure you already know he's not being deliberately greedy as such.

HappyMJ

kiss_me_now9 wrote: »

He also seems to have a problem with squash; he'll go through one of the litre bottles of Tesco double concentrate in about a fortnight :eek:

:eek::eek::eek::eek:OMG!!! A whole litre in 2 weeks!!! How awful...that's about 71 millilitres per day and when mixed 1 part to 9 parts water that'll be about 3 small glasses a day or a pint and a quarter...costing about 10 pence. Really...Just buy a few more it's not that expensive...I'll drink at least 2 or 3 pints of squash each day and it's too weak when I use 1 part to 9 as recommended so I usually go 1 part to 6 or less. I'll go through a 1.75 litre bottle per week quite easily....and I don't like Tesco's brand...I much prefer Robinsons which is £3.65 for 1.75 litres....or about 52 pence per day.

aliasojo

Actually, although I wouldn't have put it quite like that, lol, I agree with HappyMJ. I don't think his squash intake is particularly excessive.

Obviously better to drink plain water but if he can't (I hate water myself unless it's fizzy ) then at least this is the least of the evils.

CH27

kiss_me_now9 wrote: »

Ok, this is going to be an odd one, but bear with me.

Me and my partner do the fortnightly shop together (or at least, plan it together). We meal plan when we get a chance and we try to stay within an acceptable amount of spending on food each month. However, my partner has an awful habit of 'I want it, I'll have it' and he doesn't know when to stop.

He'll eat half a packet of Digestives with a pint of milk in the evening if he feels so inclined. We've had a fair few arguments in the past because he eats whatever he wants and he doesn't consider whether I wanted it or not - such as yoghurts (I don't bother thinking 'Oh, I'd like that yoghurt' any more as I know 9/10 times it'll be gone by the time I get round to eating it) and fruit. He also seems to have a problem with squash; he'll go through one of the litre bottles of Tesco double concentrate in about a fortnight :eek:

He's very self concious about his body and I think he uses food as a way to cope with his horrible job and other feelings, so if I try to stop him it generally goes down pretty badly. Help!

I see no problem with that.

I you want a certain item ask him to leave it for you.

You seem to be trying to mould him into something you want him to be but seem reluctant to support him bettering himself going to uni. Strange

Spendless

Have had exactly the same argument at my house with husband and kids. Told them if they refused to 'pace themselves' as the clue is in the 'weekly grocery shopping' not 'several hours after returning from the shops' groceries I would either refuse to buy it anymore or I would hide it.

The only other thing I would say has he been checked for diabetes? When I was diagnosed it made sense why I was craving more and more sugar. I was drinking dilute squash every day. Since diagnosis and taking medication it's the thing that I've noticed I don't want anymore.

mardatha

Sorry to see some unhelpful posts on here - we all have our own individual problems in life and none of us deserve to be laughed at, esp in here.
Buy less rubbish - if there's no digestives left then he can't eat them. Fruit etc, buy smaller amounts less often if that's poss?
Make a bigger deal about meals - always try soup and main course, or main course and pudding, so that he feels he's had a decent meal. And if he whines for a biscuit then you can reasonably point out that he just had a big dinner
Ask me how I know all this lol - and I've been married for 47 years

HappyMJ

mardatha wrote: »

Sorry to see some unhelpful posts on here - we all have our own individual problems in life and none of us deserve to be laughed at, esp in here.
Buy less rubbish - if there's no digestives left then he can't eat them. Fruit etc, buy smaller amounts less often if that's poss?
Make a bigger deal about meals - always try soup and main course, or main course and pudding, so that he feels he's had a decent meal. And if he whines for a biscuit then you can reasonably point out that he just had a big dinner
Ask me how I know all this lol - and I've been married for 47 years

It's being far too controlling. Who really cares if he eats a half pack of digestives with milk, too much fruit and squash. I'd buy larger quantities and more often not smaller amounts less often If he he wants to eat more then why control what he eats or drinks...it'll only lead to arguments.

kboss2010

HappyMJ wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek:OMG!!! A whole litre in 2 weeks!!! How awful...that's about 71 millilitres per day and when mixed 1 part to 9 parts water that'll be about 3 small glasses a day or a pint and a quarter...costing about 10 pence. Really...Just buy a few more it's not that expensive...I'll drink at least 2 or 3 pints of squash each day and it's too weak when I use 1 part to 9 as recommended so I usually go 1 part to 6 or less. I'll go through a 1.75 litre bottle per week quite easily....and I don't like Tesco's brand...I much prefer Robinsons which is £3.65 for 1.75 litres....or about 52 pence per day.

My bf drinks the same amount, it's really not that excessive if it's all he drinks.

kiss_me_now9

CH27 wrote: »

I see no problem with that.

I you want a certain item ask him to leave it for you.

You seem to be trying to mould him into something you want him to be but seem reluctant to support him bettering himself going to uni. Strange

Not really, to be frank it's a very scary prospect to think that when he goes back to studying, it will be MY wages only that are coming into the house and so all the bills, rent, food etc. will be on my head - I currently work in a short term temp job (3 month contract) and I have no idea what I'll be able to get after that. I do want him to go to uni, I dropped out and went back a second time but he's very prone to one day deciding that he wants to study History and then the next week deciding that he wants to be a vet. That's fine if you're 17 and you can change your mind easily but when you're 23 and you're on your last shot it needs to be a well planned, thoroughly thought through decision that right now I don't feel like it is. I feel very much that he has decided that he hates his current retail job, he doesn't want to find something else because he's scared he'll get sacked from somewhere else so he sees it as the only option. I will stand by him in whatever he decides, but I'm allowed to have reservations about it.

mardatha wrote: »

Sorry to see some unhelpful posts on here - we all have our own individual problems in life and none of us deserve to be laughed at, esp in here.
Buy less rubbish - if there's no digestives left then he can't eat them. Fruit etc, buy smaller amounts less often if that's poss?
Make a bigger deal about meals - always try soup and main course, or main course and pudding, so that he feels he's had a decent meal. And if he whines for a biscuit then you can reasonably point out that he just had a big dinner
Ask me how I know all this lol - and I've been married for 47 years

Thank you He is a human dustbin, ahah! I'm a completely savoury person and would rather eat more dinner but he's got a raging sweet tooth so he'll happily skip dinner to eat the digestives instead :eek:

HappyMJ wrote: »

It's being far too controlling. Who really cares if he eats a half pack of digestives with milk, too much fruit and squash. I'd buy larger quantities and more often not smaller amounts less often If he he wants to eat more then why control what he eats or drinks...it'll only lead to arguments.

Why does it matter? It matters because his health is at risk. He's overweight as it is - he doesn't exercise, he smokes... Larger quantities will mean that instead of eating 10 Digestives in one go, he'll eat 15. That then means I spend more money on the things I don't eat and he'll end up obese and in very ill health. I don't think wanting my partner to be healthy is controlling.

Spendless - he was checked for it a few years ago, they got the results back and basically said 'No, you're just lazy and overeating'. Trying to get him to think about his health is like pulling teeth.

Kboss - He goes through about a litre of (full fat) coke a day too.

HappyMJ

kiss_me_now9 wrote: »

Why does it matter? It matters because his health is at risk. He's overweight as it is - he doesn't exercise, he smokes... Larger quantities will mean that instead of eating 10 Digestives in one go, he'll eat 15. That then means I spend more money on the things I don't eat and he'll end up obese and in very ill health. I don't think wanting my partner to be healthy is controlling.

I meant the fruit...buy more fruit...and NAS(no added sugar) squash. Exercise with him. Go for walks in the countryside. Find other ways to get him off the sofa and away from the pack of digestives. Smoking is much worse than eating and drinking too much....and food is really cheap compared to the cost of cigarettes. It's controlling saying to him you can't have that extra digestive biscuit so you need to find alternative ways of getting him fit without actually saying it. What about gardening? What would he do if you started doing the gardening whilst he's on the sofa? Would he continue to sit on the sofa ignoring the task that needs doing and not helping you?