Best place to get help for my daughter

Troutwrestler

Hi

I'm not after any medical advice, since I know that's not allowed, just some advice or other people's experiences.

For a long time I have thought there was something not quite right with my eldest daughter. She didn't talk until she was around 4. Has always been very clumsy, doesn't get humour or sarcasm, has awful tantrums, I mean full scale meltdowns over the slightest thing.
She has an aversion to loud noises of any kind, she has to wear earplugs when I Hoover as the noise scares her witless.

I have had her reviewed by an educational psych when she was around 7 and allowed they agreed there was issues and allocated her help at school (she is on sen register) they didn't say what it could be.

I have approached my gp but he feels people are too quick to label kids and feels that it's just quirks every child has.

But I can't shake the feeling something's not right.
She's so outgoing, she takes everyone at face value, and is very easily led. She doesn't see when other children are making fun of her and its heart breaking really.

Anyone any ideas, how an I go about getting her seen or maybe I am over reacting and she's just quirky??

I have approached another gp but I got a lecture of the constraints of the NHS and how I shouldn't want to label my daughter.

Thanks for any help

Racheldevon

I can see both sides, the NHS will always be overstretched it doesn't mean you shouldn't have the option of taking it further necessarily.

I guess the main question is whether you feel your daughter's needs are being met? It sounds like she has educational support following the Educational Psychologists assessment? What does the SEN statement say? You could seek a referral to a paediatrician - they can usually refer into assessment centres to explore diagnosis further. Perhaps go back to the GP highlighting the ways in which you feel her needs aren't being met, and the impact this has on her (perhaps using the social care assessment framework triangle for some example areas) and take it from there.

DomRavioli

Hi there,

I couldn't look without posting. Seems to me her GP isn't willing to help whatsoever (nothing to do with labelling kids although this is a very regular excuse - my dad was a doctor so I unfortunately know a little more than I should!). Can you see another GP at the practice, or ask to be referred to maybe CAMHS (if she is under 18) or the adult mental health service in her area (a lot of the LD now come under there, so would be a start).

I'm now 28 and diagnosed with a wonderful thing called BPD, but she sounds just like me when I was around 14.

Feel free to PM me if you need me, and good luck!

marisco_2

As your daughter is on the sen register at her school I would advise going along and speaking to the Senco. Raise your ongoing concerns with him/her and take their advice. They will be able to let you know what support is in place for her currently, and you could discuss between you if any further help may be appropriate.

Bennifred

I'm sorry that you don't appear to be getting the help and reassurance you need. It makes me cross when people say things about not "labelling" children - I say that without a diagnosis it is difficult to get any help they may need.
I would ask for a referral to a paediatrician - see a different GP if your own won't co-operate. If you don't stand up for your daughter, who will?

pmlindyloo

I think there are two ways of thinking about this.

Yes, no one wants a child to be 'labelled' but, on the other hand, if a label isn't given then support for the 'condition' cannot be given.

Since your GP is unhelpful I would be inclined to make an appointment with the SEN coordinator at school. Did you see the psychologist's report? Where there any helpful suggestions on there about how to help your daughter?

Before making an appointment with the SEN person I would also make a list of your concerns. Are you concerned that she is easily led and likely to get into trouble? Do you think that she has no sense of danger? Is she finding it hard to make friends/

What brings on her tantrums? You don't say how old she is but could you jot down a few examples of what happened, how she reacted, how you dealt with it/whether it worked for the SEN bod.

if you can be clear about your concerns then you will have a better chance of going in and just being rather general about her behaviour.

Explain that you need some help with dealing with your daughter - the doctor won't help - who can you go to?

As regards your daughter's hearing - has she recently had a hearing test? Could you arrange one? The audiologist may have some useful comments to make.

Good luck.

Troutwrestler

Thanks, I will speak with the SEN coordinater at school on Monday .
I will try another gp at the practice although I don't holdout much Hope getting anywhere.

I just know that there something not quite right, I can't put my finger on it, but I know.
Thanks for all the suggestions x

Carl31

Our eldest step daughter had something similar. We only discovered the problem when we moved her to another school. We thought she was being bullied at her first primary, but it turned out she is dyslexic. We had the tantrums etc.. And she struggles in social situations, she is now at secondary school and has a group of friends, but never really had any at primary, and was often alone.

I don't know if your daughter has dyslexia, and cannot advise as I am not a professional, but if she has a senco worker at school I would discuss with them, the one at our daughters school has been invaluable and her advise has helped no end, even in how to stop the tantrums, which came from frustration of being confused

Troutwrestler

She doesn't have dyslexia, but a very short attention span, information seems to go in one ear and out of the other. She is unaware of dangers, she will ride her bike in front of a car without seeing any danger! She thinks everyone is her friend, and can't see that some people are the exact opposite.
She's 11 and IMO very immature for her age, I'm just worried as next year she will be in high school and I wonder how she will cope. She has no organisational skills, can't keep time. The SEN coordinator gave us pointers on how to improve on the time keeping and organising but tbh, it hasn't worked, she can't seem to keep any of the information on board if that makes sense.

She still has to be dressed and helped with her shoes on, otherwise everything goes on back to front or inside out.
She's very outgoing, to her own detriment at times, as I think she's so full on she scares people, or attracts those who just want to make fun, she's also very loud, it's like she has no volume control at all.... She's always been like that though.

marisco_2

Has anyone ever raised the possibility with you that your daughter may be autistic?

Troutwrestler

marisco wrote: »

Has anyone ever raised the possibility with you that your daughter may be autistic?

I brought up the subject both with senco and the gp.
Senco didn't really want to comment but said it was a possibility and asked us to make an appt with the gp. Gp has dismissed that straight away, saying if she was she wouldn't be chatty and loud and outgoing, he seemed to think autism would present with exact opposite traits