Really need some advice please...

RAS

He needs to see a solictor urgently and get advice on how to end this mess.

It will be worth the money.

I_try

Firstly he is not a deadbeat dad as someone has previously suggested, he is paying towards his child in the form of payments towards the mortgage and, as it transpires, the bills.

Secondly it is likely that ex-wife has arranged with new partner that he pays for lifestyle, which I am guessing means food, some bills, social life expenses etc, and does not contribute to the cost of the house as this brings in a complicating factor of new partner potentially having a claim on the equity in the house later on.

Finances do not have to be sorted to obtain a decree absolute. It is foolish and short-sighted not to though. A conversation needs to be had between ex-husband and ex-wife regarding a proper and final split of finances. The choices sound like either he continues with mortgage contributions etc as is and this is taken as his form of child maintenance or he ceases these payments and pays a monetary payment to her for child maintenance.

He does need to speak to a solicitor and get things done properly asap. As things stand ex-wife could go to CSA and make a claim and he'll be liable for back payments for however long he has not paid maintenance officially.

He is also as liable for the debt as he is for any equity in a house, he won't get to just say "I don't want it, you keep it". He really needs to get this all sorted out properly. The longer it gets left the more complicated it's going to get.

Oh, and he has as much right to say who lives in the house with his ex as she has a say in who he lives with!

Rhiashy

I_try wrote: »

Firstly he is not a deadbeat dad as someone has previously suggested, he is paying towards his child in the form of payments towards the mortgage and, as it transpires, the bills.

Secondly it is likely that ex-wife has arranged with new partner that he pays for lifestyle, which I am guessing means food, some bills, social life expenses etc, and does not contribute to the cost of the house as this brings in a complicating factor of new partner potentially having a claim on the equity in the house later on.

Finances do not have to be sorted to obtain a decree absolute. It is foolish and short-sighted not to though. A conversation needs to be had between ex-husband and ex-wife regarding a proper and final split of finances. The choices sound like either he continues with mortgage contributions etc as is and this is taken as his form of child maintenance or he ceases these payments and pays a monetary payment to her for child maintenance.

He does need to speak to a solicitor and get things done properly asap. As things stand ex-wife could go to CSA and make a claim and he'll be liable for back payments for however long he has not paid maintenance officially.

He is also as liable for the debt as he is for any equity in a house, he won't get to just say "I don't want it, you keep it". He really needs to get this all sorted out properly. The longer it gets left the more complicated it's going to get.

Oh, and he has as much right to say who lives in the house with his ex as she has a say in who he lives with!

Does he get a say in who lives in the house? It's been like this for two years... It just seems not to be going anywhere.... And our relationship seems to be suffering due to our financial circumstances.

He does pay for his daughter like stated mortgage ...,and now bills and when she needs something they will go halves...

I just want to get everything in order so we can get in with our lives and his ex can get on with hers.

It all just seems complicated!

RAS

At the risk of sounding like a broken record; he urgently need proper legal advice from a good divorce lawyer.

If he had sorted this out properly at the time when they divorced it would have been a lot cheaper.

Alternatively he can just stop paying everything else and give his ex 15% of his take home pay. That is what he is required to do legally. How his ex sorts out the mortgage is her problem not his.

That might also allow him to save enough to sort out the negative equity?

get him for a lawyer.

And he can move back into the house tomorrow if he wishes.