Really need some advice please...

Rhiashy

Hello everyone,

I hope some can shed some light on this problem cause my eyes are going square trying to search for answers!

I would like to know where my partner stands. He's been divorced for over 6 months now, however has been separated for nearly three years. He has a little girl and is currently part owner and holds a joint mortgage with his ex wife.

Since he separated he has been paying half of the mortgage like he is legal obliged to do. However this past year his ex wife has started a relationship with someone new and has now moved him into the once family home.

What I'd like to know is that is there anything my partner can do? Does he have rights to co decide who lives there and who doesn't?

His wife is living in the family home with their daughter and now the new partner the new partner doesn't contribute to any bills or up keep of the house and is basically just living there free.

While my partner is struggling to make the payments on the mortgage... He's struggling financially. I feel so terrible for him as he's struggling to pay for the house that his wife and new partner living in and having the time of their life while we're eating beans on toast! ( don't get me wrong beans on toast is amazing)

But I would just like to know if there's any light at the end of the tunnel for my partner.... Whether there's anything he can do to either stop making the payments or lower them.

Additionally in paying for the mortgage he cannot afford child maintenance for his daughter or treaty her when we have her and its killing him.

Any advice would be grand.

Thank you.

RAS

This should all have been sorted out when the financial settlement was agreed as part of the divorce. Did he discuss this with his solicitor?

Which country (England, Wales, Scotland etc)?

Is he also paying CSA?

marisco_2

Why was a financial settlement not agreed as part of the divorce? This is something your partner really needs to address with his ex and to then get a solicitor to sort it all out legally. Is there any reason why his ex cant buy him out of the property they use to share, or why they haven't just sold it and split any equity?

BitterAndTwisted

Going through the formalities of a divorce without agreeing a financial settlement is foolish.

Still, whatever the ex's domestic arrangements are is nothing to do with the ex-husband. Does he feel he has the right to veto any live-in partner his ex chooses to have move in with her for the rest of her life?

My advice to you is to stand well back from any of this, as none of it has anything to do with you either.

beckysbobbles1

Why do you keep referring to his ex wife and his wife....? Just curious.

Anyway, he would need to come off the mortgage. His (ex) wife would need to submitt a new mortgage application in her sole name and affordability would be assessed on that.

It does seem pretty crazy that none of this was settled in the divorce. If he really wanted to, he could refuse to pay his half of the mortgage but then if the mortgage defaults, that also goes against his name.

I do hope he has some record of paying his half of the mortgage otherwise he may lose rights to any capital in the property.

double_mummy

how old is the little girl?
how long did the own the property?
how long is left on the mortgage? time and cost
did they buy when they were together or one bought and the other moved in?
does he have proof that he has contributed to the mortgage since he moved out?


you need to get this sorted soon if anything were to happen to your OH his ex wife would inherit the property as i presume they bought as joint tenants

you can give the ex wife 3 options
either she pays rent on his part of the house and pays for the entire mortgage
gets a mortgage in her own name and buys him out
sell the house and move out

offer to meet ex wife at mediation and then sort all of this out draw up and sign together then take to solicitor to be made official

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/overview

trevorsminted

How do you know her new partner does not contribute?. He may well be yet ex-wife may not divulge this in case your partner stops/cuts down her monies.

trevorsminted

I never realised until I came on this website what someone having "baggage" actually meant.

Someone going through a similar situation once said to me that it all ticks away nicely until either one gets a new partner on the scene then it all goes T..s up they poke their nose in and want change but anyway I'm sure your now partner must be feeling a bit cheated with someone else slipped into his old routine!

toffee'n'tom

trevorsminted wrote: »

I never realised until I came on this website what someone having "baggage" actually meant.

Someone going through a similar situation once said to me that it all ticks away nicely until either one gets a new partner on the scene then it all goes T..s up they poke their nose in and want change but anyway I'm sure your now partner must be feeling a bit cheated with someone else slipped into his old routine!

That is so true and that's the very reason a financial settlement should be done at the same time as the divorce. I foolishly only finalised my divorce and financial settlement this years after 7 years of separation because of new partners on the scene. I didn't have any problems but really should have sorted it earlier.

I can't believe a solicitor or the court for that matter would deal with the decree absolute without dealing with the finances. I recall in my case that the Judge wanted the papers in relation to the settlement at the same time.

Guest101

Rhiashy wrote: »

Hello everyone,

I hope some can shed some light on this problem cause my eyes are going square trying to search for answers!

I would like to know where my partner stands. He's been divorced for over 6 months now, however has been separated for nearly three years. He has a little girl and is currently part owner and holds a joint mortgage with his ex wife.

Since he separated he has been paying half of the mortgage like he is legal obliged to do. However this past year his ex wife has started a relationship with someone new and has now moved him into the once family home.

What I'd like to know is that is there anything my partner can do? Does he have rights to co decide who lives there and who doesn't?

His wife is living in the family home with their daughter and now the new partner the new partner doesn't contribute to any bills or up keep of the house and is basically just living there free.

While my partner is struggling to make the payments on the mortgage... He's struggling financially. I feel so terrible for him as he's struggling to pay for the house that his wife and new partner living in and having the time of their life while we're eating beans on toast! ( don't get me wrong beans on toast is amazing)

But I would just like to know if there's any light at the end of the tunnel for my partner.... Whether there's anything he can do to either stop making the payments or lower them.

Additionally in paying for the mortgage he cannot afford child maintenance for his daughter or treaty her when we have her and its killing him.

Any advice would be grand.

Thank you.

What did the judgment of divorce say? If it says they are both entitled to half the property, and half the mortgage, your partner, and you, could move in there.

But that's rare, so judgment of divorce info then more answers

Rhiashy

Hello thank you for all your feed back...

If I've wrote wife and ex wife a couple of times it's because I just type really fast and was just trying to get everything and might have typed the wrong thing! Ha

I don't mean my partner has an issue with her meeting someone new and that he thinks he can decide who lives there. I was just wondering if my partner had any say on who does live there due to him still paying the mortgage?!

In relation to CSS he doesn't pay for the daughter who is 8, die to the fact that he can't afford to. He pays for her in relation to everything she needs for example when she is with us and needs something like clothes he will then. Or if his ex needs to get her something he will always go halves on things. Or I will help with things and payments for things she needs like after school clubs etc.

And we know the partner doesn't contribute to the house due to her telling us. She pays for the house with help from my partner and her new partner keeps up their lifestyle.

All I wondered is what rights he has in relation to still paying half the mortgage.

It's just been to long and I can see its starting to effect us financially... And it's like a strain on our relationship