Divorce/House/Rights Advice

yoda84

Hey Guys,

Hoping someone can shed a bit of light on my situation, I'm at my wits end.


My wife left me about 4 months ago after 18months of marriage, totally out of the blue she said she didn't feel the same anymore. I was devastated, suggested giving it some time and going to counselling, but she said no. I was fine with her staying at the house for as long as she wanted to, but after a few weeks she moved out of the marital home of her own free will and moved to her parents. I have tried being civil and calm with her and her family since day one.

I went away on the weekend and came home to find she had entered the property (with keys she told me were lost). Taken her personal belongings and a few things we had agreed she could have. I'm fine with her taking her stuff as I told her i would keep it at the home until she had somewhere to store/move it too, I'm just annoyed about the way in which she did it.

She also left me a note to say that she had been to a solicitor and paid for a divorce........we had agreed to finalise everything and THEN go to the solicitor together, so once again I'm baffled as to why this has happened.

My main concern is the house. I bought the house before we were married with money I was left in my father will. The mortgage/deeds are all solely in my name and I have been the one paying all of the bills/mortgage/expenses for the last 2 years as she was in university. She gave me £50 a month out of her bursary towards housekeeping/bills.

When we separated we agreed that i would give her £5000 for her contributions to the house over the last 3 years (8months of which she worked) and that the house would remain mine as it is essentially a gift from my father to me.

The whole situation left me very close to the edge and seeking medical help.



I have a few questions:

1) I've asked for her key back now that she no longer has any personal possessions at the house - but she ignores my requests.
1.a) can i change the locks?
1.b) can i charge her half?
1.c) if she comes onto the property without prior notice, is that trespassing?

2) In regards to the house being bought before marriage with money left solely to me from my father, I'm PRAYING the solicitor/court will see this and the fact that I have been paying for everything and supporting her whilst she was in university.

I intend to go to my solicitor when the divorce papers from her solicitor arrive.

Thanks in advance for any help you can offer guys.

Darren



UPDATE:

Hi guys,

Just over 4 months have passed now and its still on-going. She's sent me divorce papers which are filled with utter lies! My solicitor has informed me to not agree with the reasons for divorce but to agree the marriage is over, which I did.

She is trying to claim for me to pay her legal costs and the cost of the divorce, to which my solicitor replied telling her I will not pay her costs as I have my own costs to pay and I have a house to pay for but that I would contribute 50% of the court fees (£205).

We have heard nothing more since we sent this letter to her solicitor.

Since we sent the letter i recieved letters addressed to her from her employer, the DVLA and an extra phone contract taken out at my address (i only knew this as it was from EE and i was expecting a letter so assumed it was for me when i seen the logo on the envelope).

All letters/parties have been informed by myself that she no longer lives at the address and hasn't done so for around 9months. It has also come to light that she is in a new relationship with a university mentor who she "friended" whilst we were still together and text 1850 in a month....but they were just "friends", which just adds to the stress of things.

My solicitor is suggesting we simply return the divorce papers to the court and send her solicitor the half of the court fees and see what happens....

I'm really at the end of my rope with it all now, i've got two questions:

1) anyone else been in a simular situation and can offer any advice?

2) since she left i have obviously recieved no contribution to the mortgae from her (not that she contributed hardly anything anyway!). When it comes to settling finances and dealing with the equity in the house, does this mean the equity in the house NOW or the equity in the house when she left? - eg the last 9 months i've been paying...will she also be entitled to any of the equity bought by those payments?

sorry its a big update........

Thanks
D



Update - 18-02-2014
So things haven't really changed, it's come to light now that the ex has not replied to any letter from my solicitor or her own, the last time her own solicitor had any contact from her was back in September 2013.

We have sent her/her solicitor a letter stating they have 14 days to reply to us or we will cross-file with the court. I will update agin when I know/hear more - just wanted to keep the post alive and say thanks to all of those who have helped.

Cheers
D

RAS

After a short marriage, the courts usually return the parties to the position in which they were prior to the marriage.

A short marriage is usually 2 years, but they might take into account the period when she was living there as part of a couple.

So she might get something from the house but certainly not 50%. Maybe 50% of any increase in value in the last 3 years?

Since she is not on the deeds, you can change the locks - barrels cost £5-10 each and you need a screw driver and possibly a hack-saw to fit them. Tuition is available on-line.

You cannot charge her half for this - no.

You might want to go to the police station locally and explain the above in case she turns up and throw a wobbler. But given that she only took what you had agreed, I think it unlikely that she will return to take more stuff.

She may have an idea that having a key gives her more rights when it comes to the divorce.

Do you have anything about what you had agreed in writing?

yoda84

Hi Thanks for getting back to me.

I shall be changing the locks this weekend! - Thats good advice about notifying the police - thank you!

I have a small part of what we agreed but her father has the rest in writting but refuses to produces copies.

I just hope things work out as we planned and a i pray she doenst fight for 50% of the house.

Cheers
Darren

19lottie82

She won't get 50% of the house, if you have only been married 18 months, during which you essentially supported her while she was at Uni.

However, it does sound like you are over reacting IMO, she came to the house once while you were out, to collect her stuff, and you're talking about calling the police and changing the locks?

Plus, so far she hasn't even asked you for more than the 5k you have discussed, has she?

You say you want to remain calm and civil, but it doesn't sound like it?

I know you're worried but try not to get your back up (and hers), unless you have to. You'll more than likely just make the whole situation worse.

yoda84

Hey!
yeah i suppose its easy to over-react, it's just i don't want her coming and going as she pleases to a home she has chosen to leave.....

I will definatley change the locks and see what happens with the letter from her solicitor.

Thanks again guys, this has made me feel alot calmer.

Cheers
Darren

princeofpounds

Yes, as the others have said, if she is not on the deeds, she is not entitled to enter the property (unless a court says otherwise with an occupation order, which is not really relevant with no children and her not homeless).

It might be overkill to speak to the police in advance as this is not a situation that is likely to turn to accusations of criminality - just print off a copy of the property title and keep it to hand. But up to you.

No, you can't bill her for changing the locks if that's what you meant.

As stated, you stand a chance of a better than 50% settlement due to the short length of the marriage. But it's in your interests not to hang around, try to smooth the process and get a resolution.

You can't really blame her for getting her own legal counsel. You should too. Just try to reach a settlement in an ordinary way.

No, there is no offence of trespass, it's only a problem if you suffer loss or damage as a consequence of trespass.

Treevo

It sounds as if her parents have decided to get themselves involved and think that she could get half your assets. Time to lawyer up and instigate the divorce yourself. Get a good divorce specialist and go from there. It shouldn't cost you too much considering it's a short marriage and there are no children, but don't delay because if the court takes into account the length of time you lived together before marriage, you could just be on the cusp of that and therefore stand to lose more.

Desperado99

defo get the locks changed, just for peace of mind.

Without wanting to freak you out too much....... my brother's ex did similar (her dad and brother came to move her out while he was on nights....... it really was a moonlight flit) and the one thing he made sure he did was change his toothbrush. It sounds like a daft thing, but he just didn't trust what might have happened to it while they were there.

sorry for bringing that up

yoda84

hey guys,

update in first post.

Thanks

getmore4less

Should have changed the locks the day she said she had lost the keys.

Might be worth talking to the solicitor about the infidelity if you can get further prove it started before she left.

yoda84

getmore4less wrote: »

Should have changed the locks the day she said she had lost the keys.

*hindsight! - changed the locks as soon as i could after she started playing funny b*ggers.

getmore4less wrote: »

Might be worth talking to the solicitor about the infidelity if you can get further prove it started before she left.

*i've got a copy of her bill proving all the texts/calls that happened whilst we were still together but as she has already filled divorce papers against me i cant file them against her, from my understanding.

D