Lost my best friend to online game Second life

Hoopylass

pigpen wrote: »

You've spoken to her about it, she knows how you feel and obviously doesn't care.. I'd walk away and let her get on with it and when she needs you she'll be back... or you can keep trying and wasting your time until she decides enough is enough and pulls herself together.

She may well be depressed, she may also be lonely or bored... she may also have been playing this game for a long while before she split and it may have contributed..

It is your call.

Yup she is depressed, lonley and bored. She only joined when she came back to scotland. I know she wasnt playing it during the marriage.

aileth

I lost my mother to world of Warcraft for a year. We couldn't do anything, shed be glued to it all day, drinking, rush home from work or wherever to play it, wouldn't do anything. She couldn't understand the worries we had and would often explode into an argument. Ingame she was popular, out side she was alienating herself from us.

We couldn't help her or get her away from it and she eventually detached from it herself. I would imagine your friend is very much the same, as in she can't see the problem. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves unfortunately. Good luck and I'm sorry for the situation.

Hoopylass

Dimey wrote: »

I have no experience of it but this sounds like an addiction in similar way someone can get addicted to gambling, alcohol, drugs or sex when they are vulnerable and seeking escapism from their problems.

Maybe she'll respond if you point out that she could be dragging her son down with her.

How long will it be before she starts spending all her money within the game.

I don't know whether its realistic but sounds like she needs a friend or family member close to her who can call by daily to keep her off the game and find her something else to do so she can ideally throw the game away.

Ive tried all that ... but only so much you can do when its onesided im afraid

j.e.j.

Is Second Life still going?? Or Weirdo City as it used to be known.

It's like you described it, people go on there, take on another identity, choose an avatar and a name to call yourself, and just start to live a cyber life. It's a shame her life's come to this. Online stuff can get very addictive.

I wonder if it'd be better if the dad had both the kids..

paulineb_2

I think youve done all you can to be honest, shes not really being a friend to you just now.

Im not sure about her child tbh, unless hes at real risk I dont think his dad taking him would be the best idea, could send her deeper into depression, but perhaps that the angle you need to take, unfair on the child, he needs to come before computer games.

jakes-mum

Yes ive been here, with my husband. He was addicted to an online pirate game, he would go to work, come home, log on and the kids and I wouldnt see him again for the night. He could play until 2 - 3am and on days he didnt work he would get up at 6am and play all day till well after id gone to bed. This went on for well over 2 years he would happily put his bank card details in on a 'mega' day for 3x the imaginary ammo over and over again.

Many arguements, tears on my part, anger on his and he did finally see that he had a problem and he had replaced his real life with an imaginary one. His main problem was he had severe depression (still does) was in a job he loathed but couldnt leave because we had heavy debt, I was ill and unable to work, in short his real life was cac In his pretend world he was popular and a high ranking player, he had 'friends' all over the world and no commitments or worries except which guild would they be attacking tonight *shrugs*

Id love to say there was a magic thing I did to stop him playing but there wasnt, it took years of me screaming, shouting, nagging, crying to get him to admit he was addicted and he had to make the decision to stop playing himself. It's been well over a year since he stopped logging in constantly. I think he's been on twice in the last 6 months and that was for less than an hour as in his own words 'its not the same anymore'.

With the best will in the world, you cant stop her playing if she doesnt want to, all you can do is keep inviting her out and wait for the penny to drop that her 'life' isnt real

viscachaz

I think the issue with the gaming needs to be separated from the issue with the son..

As an ex-Warcraft-addict, I played it ALOT.. and I'm talking, wake up at 11am, play Warcraft until 4am, and go to bed ready to wake up at 11am to resume playing.. At the end of the day, I enjoyed every minute of it, but then, I was responsible for only myself.. when children are involved then this isn't as crystal clear. As long as the children are being looked after, fed, interacted with etc, then what she does in her spare time is nobodies business but her own, regardless of what you think she should be doing, it is her life. One day she may want more from life, and then she will change, stop playing, whatever, but that is entirely up to her, and a choice only SHE can make.

As for the children, you need to look at whether they are being cared for properly, and that includes dangers from people online, and address that issue, and that one, either with the father, the school, social services etc., but i presume only the fathercan decide whether what is happening is acceptable and address the school.

Don't bring her playing any games into any of it, purely loo at what is affecting the children and work from there

UKTigerlily

I've played Second Life for almost seven years & it's a big part of my life, however it can definitely be addictive & a dangerous place for some. It is entirely possible to earn a real life living from SL but not usual, most just earn small amounts. I think she needs it pointing out that it is having an effect on her first life as we call it.

elsien

A colleague met OH on WOW or something similar and moved to marry them. Disaster from start to finish, would never have got past first base in real life, now split up and in financial difficulies.
And instead of recognising that having no life outside of a computer game is possibly contributing to stress, depression and financial woes, they still spent all the hours they're not working on WOW and have learned nothing from the experience.

I think with that level of dependence and addiction there's very little an outsider can do to change anything. If your friend can't see there's a problem, there's nothing you can do to dissuade them. All that will happen is they'll stop talking to you about it and or/cut you out completely.

claire16c

UKTigerlily wrote: »

I've played Second Life for almost seven years & it's a big part of my life, however it can definitely be addictive & a dangerous place for some. It is entirely possible to earn a real life living from SL but not usual, most just earn small amounts. I think she needs it pointing out that it is having an effect on her first life as we call it.

I had no idea about these games so I'm curious, how do you earn real money on a pretend game?