Residency order - legal help needed???

hueygeorge

Evening all
I am in the process of completing a residency order form - in a nutshell my ex threw myself and my daughter out of our home back in March - council property -tenancy in his name. He is an alcoholic and a heavy pot user - he has been through a de-tox - April, but I have no idea if he is still drinking or not as we no longer live together. I tried my hardest to maintain a relationship between him and our daughter but he wants to have unsupervised access with her which I won't allow - common sense!! I have spoken with S/W and a Solicitor and they have all recommended a residency order. My question is do I need to have a solicitor to do the RO? I have the form filled in and ready to go and have only sought the free legal advice that I could get - I work F/T so only entitled to 30 mins.
Basically, my ex hasn't bothered to contact me for over 10 weeks now to see how our daughter is. I bumped into him today and he has told me that he is taking me to court for unsupervised access - I won't allow that as I have had threatening calls/texts from his family, and also a one-off incident of domestic violence at Christmas. I always wanted him to have a relationship with our daughter but due to the reasons above, mainly because he hasn't bothered with her for nearly 3 months, I am of the mind that I don't want him to have anything to do with her - she is only 28 months old and doesn't ask about him now and may not even recognise him! Do I need to get a solicitor or can I do the RO form on my own and keep the costs down?? Ideally I need to keep the costs down as then I have more money to spend on my daughter! I have recently refused to attend mediation with him as it would have cost me in excess of £100 whereas he would have got it free - he is on benefits - and I have never stopped him from seeing her - HELP!! x

mgdavid

do it properly, use a solicitor. Not sure it's ever a good idea to 'refuse mediation' - if he is the difficult party then 'give him enough rope to hang himself', his issues will soon show him up.

marywooyeah

Hi, you can do the form yourself, fee is around £215. There is legal aid for mediation, did you look into the funding side of it? Its not a good idea to refuse yo engage as it makes you look unreasonable, court should be the last resort.

Frith

When I went for the preliminary appointment for mediation, they said they would not let me attend as I had been a victim of domestic violence.

gotnodosh

Let him take you to court. Bet it won't happen. Legal aid is not available for contact issues anymore. My ex took me to court and I got the residency order at the first hearing when I asked for it. Your circumstances sound similar to mine, my ex is an alcoholic and a heavy cannabis smoker too. The court ordered drug and alcohol test which he failed and supervised contact in the meantime. My case is dismissed now as he couldn't be bothered to turn up to court but that's a different story.

FBaby

Do prepare yourself, if it did go to court, that access might be granted. He would have to prove that he doesn't do drugs and has his alcohol under control, but if drug tests come back negative and GP testify over drink, the judge might be sympathetic towards him. He could say that he hasn't seen daughter for 3 months because you haven't allowed it, hence going to court. If that happened, the judge is likely to grand supervised access for a period. Hasving refused mediation will no go in your favour even though I totally completely understand your issue with costs.

marywooyeah

Frith wrote: »

When I went for the preliminary appointment for mediation, they said they would not let me attend as I had been a victim of domestic violence.

Thats fine then the Court will accept that - the mediators should give you an FM1 form to show this.

gotnodosh wrote: »

Let him take you to court. Bet it won't happen. Legal aid is not available for contact issues anymore.y.

This is not true - legal aid is still available if one of the two exceptions are present: either that the applicant has been the victim of domestic abuse in the last two years or if there is a child at risk of harm.

Op you refer to dv - have you been to your Gp? You can obtain legal aid to respond to his application if you can demonstrate the DV either by way of a police charge sheet or a letter from your GP stating that you are suffering from a condition attributable to domestic abuse. It is a specific pro forma called a Rexponse to Health Professional letter which a Solicitor can give you. I hope this helps x

fluffnutter

Frith wrote: »

When I went for the preliminary appointment for mediation, they said they would not let me attend as I had been a victim of domestic violence.

Perhaps it depends. My friend, who's currently going through a divorce, has been walloped so frequently by her husband that he's been arrested (and charged) 9 times in the past year, is the subject of an anti-molestation order, i.e. he can't approach her or the house, yet they're still in mediation together. It's stipulated - she can't divorce him without it.

gotnodosh

marywooyeah wrote: »

This is not true - legal aid is still available if one of the two exceptions are present: either that the applicant has been the victim of domestic abuse in the last two years or if there is a child at risk of harm.

Op you refer to dv - have you been to your Gp? You can obtain legal aid to respond to his application if you can demonstrate the DV either by way of a police charge sheet or a letter from your GP stating that you are suffering from a condition attributable to domestic abuse. It is a specific pro forma called a Rexponse to Health Professional letter which a Solicitor can give you. I hope this helps x

What I meant was that I bet he won't take her to court as for him there will be no legal aid available. My Ex won't be able to take me to court anymore as he will not get legal aid and unless he wins the lottery or becomes a normal member of society, which is highly unlikely, he won't see DD again. As sad as it might sound, its for the best in my case.

marywooyeah

fluffnutter wrote: »

Perhaps it depends. My friend, who's currently going through a divorce, has been walloped so frequently by her husband that he's been arrested (and charged) 9 times in the past year, is the subject of an anti-molestation order, i.e. he can't approach her or the house, yet they're still in mediation together. It's stipulated - she can't divorce him without it.

Its possible to attend mediation separately eg in different rooms so they dont have to come into direct contact, of course this would hinge on the terms of the non molestation order.

hueygeorge

Hi All
Thanks for your replies. I have submitted the RO form to the court and am seeing a solicitor on Monday. There was domestic violence at Christmas, as well as threatening texts/phone calls in June 2013 from his family. As far as I can glean from solicitors I have spoken to, I can't get legal aid because the DV was 'in the past' - it was only 8 months ago!! Full situation is giving me sleepless nights and a massive amount of stress. Not sure now whether or not to go ahead with it - but can I retract a RO once I have submitted it? I cancelled the mediation purely for financial reasons and the fact that I have never stopped him from seeing our daughter - I'm now panicking that I've done the wrong thing by not going but it would have cost me £100 - £100!! That's so much money and I am of the understanding that mediation is when one parent is with-holding access - which is something I have never done. Starting to realise now though that its probably just his word against mine - surely any court would ask him though why he hasn't been to my address to see his daughter? I just don't know what the right thing now is to do. I have partly gone down the RO route to FORCE him to see our daughter - I was hoping that the judge would say 'Well you have to see her every Sat' or whenever. I ultimately want her to know who her Dad is but think I have gone about it the wrong way - arrgghhh!!