Telling my parents about my DMP

tasha999

kylie_smiley wrote: »

This isn't true at all, and I find it rather presumptive. I do not expect my parents to help at all - I doubt they'd be able to anyway. I just want their support and for them to understand my situation. To be honest, your posts are upsetting, unnecessary and unsupportive. I am prepared to deal with my debts on my own. I got myself into this mess and I can and I will get myself out of it. I really don't see how you can 'personally feel' anything about me, as you don't know me or my family. I guess I am very lucky to have supportive and non-judgemental friends and family. Do not judge me.

Totally agree :T

I found that telling my family and (very) close friends has lifted a huge burden from my shoulders and not placed anything on theirs, I have never asked them for anything and expect nothing.

I think perhaps Iris is speaking from her own viewpoint, of how she would feel in your parents position, although not helpful to you! And even if you're parents could help you out, so what! I would do anything for my kids.

Wishing you luck telling your Dad!

onamissionEU

kylie_smiley wrote: »

This isn't true at all, and I find it rather presumptive. I do not expect my parents to help at all - I doubt they'd be able to anyway. I just want their support and for them to understand my situation. To be honest, your posts are upsetting, unnecessary and unsupportive. I am prepared to deal with my debts on my own. I got myself into this mess and I can and I will get myself out of it. I really don't see how you can 'personally feel' anything about me, as you don't know me or my family. I guess I am very lucky to have supportive and non-judgemental friends and family. Do not judge me.

SPOT ON. Ignore Iris, maybe (s)he is having a bad day.
The first step to sorting out a problem is to acknowledge you have one - which is what you have done. By telling you parents you are taking the second step in sorting it out; getting help.
You can no longer bury your head in the sand as others know about the problem. You are doing 100% the right thing. We all make mistakes - it is dealing with them that is important.
IGONRE unhelpful people like Iris, don't let them get you down.
Good luck to you my dear and remember - most people here will offer great advice and keep your motivation up :j

kylie_smiley

Told dad. All good. He's just glad that I've acknowledged it and am dealing with it. He was most concerned about whether I was in arrears which, as it stands, I am not. He asked if I needed cash but I said no!

Feel better now I've told people. I'm more accountable now, somehow, I think.

Thanks so much for your support. Feel silly being so worried about speaking to my parents now. They raised a few questions which I'm going to call SC about, and have invited me to dinner at the pub - on them!

forallotherthings

Glad it went well.
I'm in the same position, I don't think my mum would have a problem with it (she's been in the same situation) but I know my dad will be angry and disappointed.
I'll have to tell him though, or make up lots more lies about certain changes in my circumstances.

tasha999

forallotherthings wrote: »

Glad it went well.
I'm in the same position, I don't think my mum would have a problem with it (she's been in the same situation) but I know my dad will be angry and disappointed.
I'll have to tell him though, or make up lots more lies about certain changes in my circumstances.

I spent years making up lies as to why we couldn't do certain things, go on holidays, nights out and the likes! It is so much easier when people know!

It's amazing how worried we are that parents will be disappointed. I've got to tell my boss if our IVA proposal doesn't work out! Now that I am dreading ?

honeybean

Please please tell your parents I was 42 and after a nasty divorce I got into serious debt , telling my parents was the best thing I ever did, I thought my parents would be so diappointed in me but it was totally different they were pleased I felt I could talk to them. Without their support emotionally I dont think i could of coped , but it certainly helped enormously just having someone to share it with and talk about it . It takes a lot of nerve to broach it but what could be worse .it has brought me closer to my my mum , sadly my dad passed away 4 years today so did not see me become debt free on may 24 last year which is sad because without their love and support I would not of done it .

Caladan

This thread is probably done now, but it struck home so I'll ask forgiveness for posting my own two cents.

Some years ago I was incredibly irresponsible with money, and found myself in a hell of a hole. Telling my parents was the best thing I ever did. I didn't ask for or receive any financial support (even though they were in a position to give it) and I'm glad they didn't just give me the cash I needed as it helped me learn some hard lessons about money and responsibility.

Don't get me wrong, they were disappointed, and I got a hell of a rollicking for it I assure you! The fact remains though - Of all the people in your life your parents are the ones most likely to always stick by you one way or another.

This isn't just to the OP, it's to anyone who finds this thread through a related google search etc.

Unless you don't get on with your folks or they're under a huge amount of stress themselves and don't need the extra worry - TELL THEM, it's better than them noticing something is wrong and feeling like you're hiding something.

SammyJo1206

As above, if anyone is worried about telling their parents, don't be, Tell them..

Some people don't have any parents to be able to speak to.