Telling my parents about my DMP

slimzoe

iris wrote: »

Why do you feel the need to unburden yourself and tell your parents about your debt?

You will only upset them and make them feel that they should help you pay off your debts, even though perhaps they cannot afford to help you.

i dont think thats very fair! i think the op isnt looking to burden her parents with her debt issues but to get moral support, i thought this forum was about support not judgement! i told my dad, and he was fab about it, i had a plan in place already so was able to tell him what i was going to do to fix the issue. i alsothink telling family helps when t comes to xmas, nights out etc, ive found it so much less stressful now as they know i cannot afford to do things, means i am not robbing peter to pay paul in order to save face.

kylie_smiley

iris wrote: »

Why do you feel the need to unburden yourself and tell your parents about your debt?

You will only upset them and make them feel that they should help you pay off your debts, even though perhaps they cannot afford to help you.

I don't feel that this is helpful. This is not about me unburdening myself, but times are going to be tricky for a while and I want them to understand my situation. I'm not asking them to help me, but I value my parents' advice and support, and I'm in a bit of a state, so I think they'd soon know something was up.

Muhren

iris wrote: »

Why do you feel the need to unburden yourself and tell your parents about your debt?

You will only upset them and make them feel that they should help you pay off your debts, even though perhaps they cannot afford to help you.

Maybe that is what a family is all about, being there for you when you really need it?

kylie_smiley

Well I've just told mum. Who was lovely, asked why I hadn't said something before and seemed calm when I told her what the plan was. Just dad now - although tempted to ask mum to tell him as I'm not sure I can go through it again. And I'm even more embarrassed to tell dad :-/

iris

kylie_smiley wrote: »

I don't feel that this is helpful. This is not about me unburdening myself, but times are going to be tricky for a while and I want them to understand my situation. I'm not asking them to help me, but I value my parents' advice and support, and I'm in a bit of a state, so I think they'd soon know something was up.

I see from your previous posts that you have been having financial problems for many years and have also received very good advice on these forums, but it would seem nothing has changed.

I personally feel that by telling your parents you are 'hoping' that they will help you financially.

Only you alone can help yourself and sort out a budget and more importantly stick to it. There really is no 'easy way out'.

tiger_eyes

kylie_smiley wrote: »

Well I've just told mum. Who was lovely, asked why I hadn't said something before and seemed calm when I told her what the plan was. Just dad now - although tempted to ask mum to tell him as I'm not sure I can go through it again. And I'm even more embarrassed to tell dad :-/

Great job! See, it wasn't as bad as you thought. Take a deep breath, tell your dad too and then you can relax. Being in debt is pretty low down on the scale of stuff that disappoints parents, and I'm sure your dad will be as lovely about it as your mum.

Muhren

iris wrote: »

I see from your previous posts that you have been having financial problems for many years and have also received very good advice on these forums, but it would seem nothing has changed.

I personally feel that by telling your parents you are 'hoping' that they will help you financially.

Only you alone can help yourself and sort out a budget and more importantly stick to it. There really is no 'easy way out'.

I know that I wouldn't have been able to turn things round without the help and support of my parents. There is no shame in asking for help.

I just hope that if you ever need any help there is somebody there for you.

kylie_smiley

iris wrote: »

I see from your previous posts that you have been having financial problems for many years and have also received very good advice on these forums, but it would seem nothing has changed.

I personally feel that by telling your parents you are 'hoping' that they will help you financially.

Only you alone can help yourself and sort out a budget and more importantly stick to it. There really is no 'easy way out'.

This isn't true at all, and I find it rather presumptive. I do not expect my parents to help at all - I doubt they'd be able to anyway. I just want their support and for them to understand my situation. To be honest, your posts are upsetting, unnecessary and unsupportive. I am prepared to deal with my debts on my own. I got myself into this mess and I can and I will get myself out of it. I really don't see how you can 'personally feel' anything about me, as you don't know me or my family. I guess I am very lucky to have supportive and non-judgemental friends and family. Do not judge me.

buzzyzoe

Just wanted to say that I absolutely think you've done the right thing in telling your mum. If I had a child that was in debt, I would want to know, so that I could give advice and be supportive. I don't think Iris is being very helpful at all.

Muhren

kylie_smiley wrote: »

This isn't true at all, and I find it rather presumptive. I do not expect my parents to help at all - I doubt they'd be able to anyway. I just want their support and for them to understand my situation. To be honest, your posts are upsetting, unnecessary and unsupportive. I am prepared to deal with my debts on my own. I got myself into this mess and I can and I will get myself out of it. I really don't see how you can 'personally feel' anything about me, as you don't know me or my family. I guess I am very lucky to have supportive and non-judgemental friends and family. Do not judge me.

For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing. I kept my issues (not only my financial ones) to myself for too long. Now everything is out in the open it has been a hell of a lot easier to deal with things.

I'm not going to lie to you and say it has been a piece of cake, it will be difficult but I am so much more comfortable about everthing now and have a plan in place to repay my debt. My parents are also happier as well as they knew something was wrong but didn't know what. They are in a better position to offer help and support to me now that they know what the problem/s are.