wedding list?

Tigsteroonie

Sazzarella wrote: »

Sure people shouldn't be having a wedding they cant afford but if you have sat there and ate the food and drank the wine that they have paid for you to have that they have invited you to share to help them celebrate then why wouldn't you want to hand over cash?

Corrected for you It's not like people are crashing the wedding and demanding food! Otherwise the B&G might as well just sell seats at their wedding if they are expecting people to pay.

Sazzarella

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Corrected for you It's not like people are crashing the wedding and demanding food! Otherwise the B&G might as well just sell seats at their wedding if they are expecting people to pay.

Thats true but personally I know weddings are expensive and I know that it has cost my friends money for me to come. I would want to give them a gift not only because they are starting a new life together but also for letting me share that day with them where they could have invited someone else in my place. If that gift would be better to them as money then no problem.

If guests have such a problem with giving money as a gift then don't give anything.

lazer

IMO it's rude to ask for anything in a invitation - there should be no mention of gifts at all.

You invite people to a celebration of your wedding because you want them with not because they are going to buy you a good present or give you lots of money.
As for giving money - I don't like it, as ervyone knows the price - whereas with a gift - the buyer can get a bargain.

We got married last year and although I told my mum the one thing I really wanted and hoped someone bought (A Denby Dinner set!) and she told her sister - so I got my dinner set, so it was up to people to decide to what to give us - if anything and we got a nice mix of money and gifts.
I personally love having gifts - as when I am amking the dinner and take out a saucepan - I think so and so bought us this.

(PS - we also didn't get any Kettles or toasters - but I wouldn't have cared if we did as toasters/kettles don't last a lifetime so a few spares would have been good, in 5 years time when one breaks -lift one from the attic!).

Is there anyway you could design your kitchen already and then have the gift list with bits of the kitchen on it for guests to buy?

split_second

To be honest I think that wedding lists are cheeky, the idea of someone specifying what should be bought and where from is worse. In some cultures the gift of default is money, I would be reluctant to ask for anything but at the same time I hate the idea of being given something we don't need and that someone spent hard earned money on.

We are trying to buy a kitchen trade or in a sale

kacie

We're having a wedding list, it'll be on our website for anyone who wants to use it. I've had two of my friends ask me if we have one and to let them know when it'll be up. So it's something at least to me that people are expecting

proverbialneedle

We had an amazon gift list - all the john lewis stuff for less money!
We also had what we called a sofa fund. In the invitations, we put details of the gift list and explained that we would be moving house once married and would have no furniture. So if people didn't see anything they liked on the list that any money given would go towards furniture. You could write a wee note and explain to people. Maybe make a small gift list of a few things in case people really would rather get you something and don't end up getting you something you hate or a double, but I wouldn't say it's rude. Friends I would say would rather help you!

We ended up getting over £1000 on our sofa fund, quite a bit of it was from friends of my husband's family who weren't invited to the wedding or anything. People are unbelievably generous at weddings!

EmmaJP

We've been to several weddings over the last 18 months and most asked for cash. Like someone else has suggested, everyone put a sweet little poem in their cards along the lines of already living together & not needing 'stuff'. I think it's becoming the norm to be honest.

We're planning on asking for holiday vouchers to go towards a honeymoon.

GlamGirlie

GoldenShadow wrote: »

Personally, I really dislike people asking for money as a wedding gift. I feel as though I'm basically helping the couple to pay off their credit cards for having splurged so much on the wedding they chose to have.

I agree, hence we have set up a gift list for our honeymoon at Kuoni http://www.kuoni.co.uk/gift-list

This way, we don't get toasters/kettles etc that we already have, but if they want to (and I can't emphasise enough that we would rather have people's presence, not presents, at the wedding) they can contribute to our dream honeymoon without the thought they are actually paying off our wedding.

That said, we have booked a honeymoon that we can afford to pay for ourselves, without a penny from guests, and that way it's a bonus not a necessity - as it should be!

Lookingtobrighterthings

We asked for money towards a honeymoon as we have everything (and had already spent so much on the wedding that funds for a honeymoon were running thin!).
Instead we just put a note in the invite that had a polite poem that said if guests wanted to provide a gift then they could contribute to our honeymoon.

We didn't get any negative comments and some people thought it wa sa sweet poem.
Some guests still decided to bring other gifts - which was lovely anyway.

katie1812

We asked for money by writing a poem. It's normal now for a lot of couples to live together and people realise that you have the essentials so buying things you have is such a waste of time! Do whatever you think, and you want, and you need. It's your wedding, your guests, your life. If people don't want to give money then they won't!