wedding list?

Sazzarella

This is such a minefield. I done a lot of research about this and consensus is that people don't like giving cash!! However I don't see the point in getting 2 toasters, 3 kettles and 5 picture frames. Especially when you already have a house full of stuff.

I think the opinion might be from the older generation? I've spoke to some friends (early 30s) and they all said that giving money was easier so I'm hoping they all feel that way and will probably put something in the invitation about how gifts are not needed but money would be nice if they really want to contribute.

moonbabe58

Wedding etiquette can be such a hard thing! We knew that we didn't want to do a gift list, but we aren't really a fan of the money poems so we put this on our invitations.

'Your presence at our day is present enough, but should we find any pennies in our cards they will go towards making some lovely memories on our honeymoon'

We have been to around 8 weddings over the last few years, none have asked for gifts or money, but we usually give either currency for where they are going on honeymoon or a voucher for somewhere we know they shop/will use i.e. got one couple who we knew were getting a puppy on their honeymoon a Pets at Home voucher and another who were doing up their house a B&Q voucher.

laura_hoggle

As soon as we sent out our save the date cards a year before the wedding, people started asking about gift lists and things. We decided to set up a small gift list with John Lewis, with most of the items being under £50, so we could replace the basic things we had, and a gift voucher option.

I point blank didn't want to say anything in our invitations about a gift list or anything, as to me, it felt like we were saying 'please come to our wedding, and here's where you can buy us a gift'. Instead, we put in an insert with details about the venues, directions etc., which had a link to the wedding website we set up, which had the details of the gift list on.

We were amazed at how generous our guests were; we were given cash, cheques, currency for our honeymoon destination, gift vouchers, and some lovely gifts (and some random ones too!)

I think we all have to be careful giving gift vouchers these days, with the problems of certain stores going bust, as often they end up worthless. The main reason we chose John Lewis for our list was because it seems to be one of the few shops doing well at the moment!!

Scotsbride

maybe talk the store or company where you would like to get the kitchen and see if they could come up with vouchers something (might be worth going into somewhere like john lewis or ikea/magnet/bq and asking) or put together a list or the fixtures and fitting you like and show people I know there are companys that do things for honeymoons.

Kapoww

I think the politest way to request cash instead of gifts is a little poem, my cousin put one in their invite, I'll try and dig it up for you when I get home

Kapoww

Found this link you might find useful though http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/receptions/money-poems/8907.html

:]

GoldenShadow

Personally, I really dislike people asking for money as a wedding gift. I feel as though I'm basically helping the couple to pay off their credit cards for having splurged so much on the wedding they chose to have.

If you really emphasise the fact its for a kitchen/your home together it would sit a lot better with me. I'd be quite happy to give some cash towards that compared to just an unknown pot like some of the weddings I have been invited to. Even paying for a honeymoon doesn't sit amazingly well with me, something physical that would gets its use I'd be more inclined to give more pennies to..!

cazziebo

GoldenShadow wrote: »

Personally, I really dislike people asking for money as a wedding gift. I feel as though I'm basically helping the couple to pay off their credit cards for having splurged so much on the wedding they chose to have.

If you really emphasise the fact its for a kitchen/your home together it would sit a lot better with me. I'd be quite happy to give some cash towards that compared to just an unknown pot like some of the weddings I have been invited to. Even paying for a honeymoon doesn't sit amazingly well with me, something physical that would gets its use I'd be more inclined to give more pennies to..!

I so agree with this.

And I really do hate these coy twee poems lifted from the internet! If you're going to ask for money, at least make it sincere and original.

GwylimT

When we got married we set up our own wedding website (they're free) this included a wedding list area but ours was a little different, we needed a few things home wise, basically on the list you could buy credits, so lets say a new kitchen sink is £50 that would be five credits, etc. I know B&Q do a wedding list service and I'm not sure if they still do but they used to offer free favours through their service.

Sazzarella

GoldenShadow wrote: »

Personally, I really dislike people asking for money as a wedding gift. I feel as though I'm basically helping the couple to pay off their credit cards for having splurged so much on the wedding they chose to have.

If you really emphasise the fact its for a kitchen/your home together it would sit a lot better with me. I'd be quite happy to give some cash towards that compared to just an unknown pot like some of the weddings I have been invited to. Even paying for a honeymoon doesn't sit amazingly well with me, something physical that would gets its use I'd be more inclined to give more pennies to..!

Would you rather hand over the 5th toaster, 3rd kettle, 10th picture frame that is no doubt never going to see the light of day? Sure people shouldn't be having a wedding they cant afford but if you have sat there and ate the food and drank the wine that they have paid for you to have then why wouldn't you want to hand over cash? The whole thing baffles me.

My friend got married in December and was asking for cash towards the honeymoon however someone wrote her car off the week before the wedding and I know that crispy £50 I gave her went towards buying a new car, which I have no problems with at all.