parent classes ordered..where to go from here?

smileforlife

thankyou all so very much, i really appreciate it. its nice to get different views and advice, and from reading them ive decided, im going to go on the courses, if anything i will know i am doing what i should and shouldntr be doing in upbringing of my children, if anything give me more confidence as a mother. and also so the judge can see im co operating.
its just such a sad time. all i want to do is protect my children. and even that is taken away. i also decided from talking with my social worker this am (after the post) to get my free legal aid hour, for advice before the hearing, and the lady involved from s svs will be coming with me to court, so i wont feel so alone.
yes, i sound a right wimp, but its hurt us all in such a way, the panic attacks seam to stop me in my tracks. under the dr so hopefully by the next hearing i will feel better in myself and i can go in head held high knowing i have done as asked.
thankyou all again, so much xxxx

valk_scot

smileforlife wrote: »

thankyou all so very much, i really appreciate it. its nice to get different views and advice, and from reading them ive decided, im going to go on the courses, if anything i will know i am doing what i should and shouldntr be doing in upbringing of my children, if anything give me more confidence as a mother. and also so the judge can see im co operating.
its just such a sad time. all i want to do is protect my children. and even that is taken away. i also decided from talking with my social worker this am (after the post) to get my free legal aid hour, for advice before the hearing, and the lady involved from s svs will be coming with me to court, so i wont feel so alone.
yes, i sound a right wimp, but its hurt us all in such a way, the panic attacks seam to stop me in my tracks. under the dr so hopefully by the next hearing i will feel better in myself and i can go in head held high knowing i have done as asked.
thankyou all again, so much xxxx

Good for you, it sounds like you've taken a deep breath, put aside your own (perfectly justified) feelings of indignation and anger and decided to concentrate on the main event , the welfare of your children. It'd can't do anything but good for your own self confidence either to step up and take as much control as possible over the situation. Good luck with everything especially the court, you'll come out a stronger and wiser woman...and mum.

Brighton_belle

smileforlife wrote: »

yes, i sound a right wimp,

You do not sound a wimp at all. Well done for coping with a very difficult situation and taking on board some of the advice given here.

Valli

Totally agree with what Valk and Mojisola have suggested - but would add the caveat of keeping a diary of when they go to their dad's, behaviour changes before/after the visitsand anything they report back.

And I second Brighton belle's post, too.

Jamc4659

I think the suggestions you have been given are very sound. I am glad you have reconsidered your decision on the classes. My son has autism and so know how difficult it can be to try and bring them up the right way and with the right support. You keep your chin up, you're doing the right things by your children. Please don't feel your hands are tide, you have the tools you need at your finger tips. If your ex's has issues those are his issues and it will be up to the courts to deal with him and his partner. They will ALWAYS consider the needs of your children first and if they do not want to see her, I doubt very much any court will force or make them. The fact that the kids are fearful of her would mean any visit would be detrimental to there wellbeing and therefore, the courts can state that she should not be present at any visits. She is not the parent, whether she is his partner or even wife at some point. HE is father and the only person that NEEDS to see the children, not her.

Very much like one of the other poster's said, I don't think I would like to put what I would do in the situation, but let's just say that when one of my son's teachers hit my son, she wasn't too pleased to find out my reaction not to mention not happy to have to find herself a new job!

Good luck hun and I really think you are making the right decision. It's all about the babies, there needs and what will help them.