Anxiety and having to reset my password.

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colpol1
colpol1 Posts: 51 Forumite
edited 29 September 2014 at 3:50PM in Credit cards
Getting rid to protect my privacy
«1

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  • izools
    izools Posts: 7,513 Forumite
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    Do you have a friend or family member who can come over and do nice things with to help you feel more comfortable, and perhaps then have them sit with you while you call the bank?

    Do you have any medication like Amitriptilyne or duloxetine you could take in the day so you feel better about calling them? My OH is on Amitriptilyne at the moment but has nasty side effects so I'm helping him come off it with a view to switching to duloxetine which has been received well, much better than amitriptilyne.
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  • _Andy_
    _Andy_ Posts: 11,150 Forumite
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    Which bank is it?
  • colpol1
    colpol1 Posts: 51 Forumite
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    I have my partner who is very supportive but when we have tried to do these things in the past I find it very overwhelming and usually end up freezing and not speaking.

    I came off medication a few months ago as I felt even lower on them/I was more anxious and I am just waiting on a home appointment to see what else my doctor can offer me.

    My bank is Halifax, Andy.

    I honestly don't know what to do. I recently moved address and my OH asked if he could change my address for me but they said that they need to speak to me but I can't do that either. I just feel really confused and upset and have no idea what to do because they don't seem to be very understanding about it.
  • Macca83_2
    Macca83_2 Posts: 1,215 Forumite
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    I take it visiting the bank with your partner would be a no go. One of the cashiers could take you off to a private room and help you make the call. Your partner could stay with you for support.

    In fact I think with the new Halifax systems they can reset the password in branch without the need to make a call
  • izools
    izools Posts: 7,513 Forumite
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    colpol1 wrote: »
    I have my partner who is very supportive but when we have tried to do these things in the past I find it very overwhelming and usually end up freezing and not speaking.

    I came off medication a few months ago as I felt even lower on them/I was more anxious and I am just waiting on a home appointment to see what else my doctor can offer me.

    My bank is Halifax, Andy.

    I honestly don't know what to do. I recently moved address and my OH asked if he could change my address for me but they said that they need to speak to me but I can't do that either. I just feel really confused and upset and have no idea what to do because they don't seem to be very understanding about it.

    I have to admit I do call "on behalf" of my OH a lot of the time, but with us both being guys it is easier to pass off :o

    It seems to me the issue here is one for your doctor rather than your bank. Do you have a CPN / therapist? My OH always used to have one but we're having to fight tooth and nail to get one back, worth a referral from your GP?

    I wish you the very best of luck with it all, I hope you find the support and solution you need :o :beer:
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  • agrinnall
    agrinnall Posts: 23,344 Forumite
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    You could consider registering a Property and Affairs Lasting Power of Attorney to give your partner the right to act on your behalf. It's possible to state what powers you want the attorney to have if you're not comfortable handing over everything. It may still be a battle to get the bank to accept it but it should be possible for your partner to fight that battle rather than you.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/office-of-the-public-guardian/series/lasting-power-of-attorney-forms
  • sharpy2010
    sharpy2010 Posts: 2,471 Forumite
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    colpol1 wrote: »
    I have anxiety which is very severe which affects me speaking on the phone/leaving the house at times.

    I have been told after trying to log onto my online banking that I need to ring up to speak to somebody but I can't and now I am scared I will not be able to use online banking again and I won't know if any money goes in etc.

    They have no online contact the only contact is by phone or visit in branch. I would ask somebody to do it but sadly it needs to be done by me for security reasons so I have no idea what to do?

    Sorry if this is in the wrong place I am just very confused.

    What do you think will happen when you phone them? They aren't going to shout down the phone or something. Isn't it just like having a conversation in real life, except the sound comes from a piece of plastic (the phone) instead of someones mouth?
  • zerog
    zerog Posts: 2,478 Forumite
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    sharpy2010 wrote: »
    What do you think will happen when you phone them? They aren't going to shout down the phone or something. Isn't it just like having a conversation in real life, except the sound comes from a piece of plastic (the phone) instead of someones mouth?

    Well done, you have discovered the principles of therapy for anxiety, the next step is to do that over 3 months and in a gentle manner

    To the OP, as it seems you have no problem communicating via online forums, you need to get a proper bank account which does not freeze your online banking when you try to set up a new payment for £50 and you go through the phone verification successfully!

    And one which allows you to message them online, such as most banks except Lloyds group ones...
  • izools
    izools Posts: 7,513 Forumite
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    sharpy2010 wrote: »
    What do you think will happen when you phone them? They aren't going to shout down the phone or something. Isn't it just like having a conversation in real life, except the sound comes from a piece of plastic (the phone) instead of someones mouth?

    Way to undermine and devalue something very unfortunate OP has challenges with. If it were that simple, don't you think OP would have sorted it by now?

    The whole point of anxiety is the emotion is irrational, and can't be rationalised.
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  • Razorbite
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    Can you ring them,introduce/identify yourself, then simply ask them if your partner can continue the call on your behalf.
    My wifes first language is not English, and this is how we deal with business calls.
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