Debt free blog - hoping to inspire and be inspired!

LittleMissIndecisive

Hi everyone,

I thought I would start this and hopefully keep it to a weekly/fortnightly post to keep me motivated and on track.

Here's a little background on myself to give you a flavour of

1. How I got myself into this financial and unsavoury pickle

And

2. How I plan on wriggling my way out of it.

So here it goes!

How i got into this pickle:

I moved up to Wales from Devon for an ex, who can be described as many things, but I shall choose to use the words, unhelpful, inconsiderate and uncaring.

Just as I moved and quit my teaching job (stupid move I know, but I was in love) the financial crisis happened and I could not for the life of me get any form of job.

My considerate ex demanded I paid half of everything so out came the credit cards, overdraft etc to keep up payments when some months (including a summer claiming job seekers - lowest point for me when I was so desperate for work but couldn't get employed as no one would touch me as I was 'over qualified' for most temping jobs and only looking for short term as I wanted to do supply to get a Teaching post when term started back.

So the debt spiralled out of control, as did the relationship, as I gave up so much and got nothing back in return. This in turn resulted in me spending a small fortune to go back home at least one weekend a month and getting drunk and spending money to 'cheer myself up'.

The only saving grace I had was a permanent teaching post. However that was now the only thing keeping me in Wales and the only thing stopping me from going home, that and the fact I couldn't as my mum had downsized. Accordingly a 29 year old will never come home

The relationship after a very strained/depressing/frustrating and debt accumulating years, ended a year ago. And you guessed it, moving into a flat by myself caused even more debt.

There was no way I could have done a house share (I was not in a good way, severely depressed - on antidepressants and with the issues I had in uni - drug dealing, assault, lying etc there was no way i could face it!) in addition to this I had furniture, electronics, and all my belongings that would not fit into a single room and would have been a waste to throw out as it would have cost a fortune to replace. I also took everything and left my ex with nothing - bitter? Me? NEVER! Hehe.

Where I am today.

It's been a year since my ex and I parted ways, since then, I have:

1. Come off my antidepressants
2. Got a promotion in work (woohoo!)
3. Met the man of my dreams
4. Ripped my head out of the sand I had it firmly buried in and decided to consolidate my debt (ouch!)
5. Determined to sort my weight out and get back down to a size 10/12 (currently a 14, after being a 16 at my biggest)

How am I doing it you say?

Well it's not going to be easy. But when you have someone who loves you no matter what, who will support you and provide you with company when you can't afford to leave your flat, things seem a little easier.

I consolidated my (18k - ouch, it was so much more/worse/horrific than I thought considering I had nothing to show other than a horrific, verbally abusive relationship and a handful of weekends with friends t escape my unhappiness!) debt into a loan, paid off all my credit card and agreed to a monthly repayment of £425 a month for 5 years.

I've rationed myself to £50 a week for petrol/food/socialising and have started tutoring through the holidays to make extra cash so I can visit my family in Devon and to put back for Christmas presents - which by the way I have already started purchasing!

I plan to pay off more each month - by sending a letter and then a cheque (they certainly do not make it easy!!) and ensuring Christmas presents I receive from my family are things I use very day (boring but will save me money).

I've managed to get my food bill down to £25 a week for two people, which my boyfriend pays half for. I used to spend £50 on just me.

I know it isn't king to be easy, but I'm 3 weeks in and enjoying the challenge, it even harder at the moment as I'm off work, I'm starting to realise its all about choices. I know I couldn't do this without my boyfriend. Sounds crazy, but the motivation, love, support and company he provides me is incredible.

My goal?

To be happy, in love and to be above 0.

Ideally debt free by 35, engaged or married to the man of my dreams and to look at buying a house (which I know will incur a mortgage debt, but it's something I would love to do with my boyfriend and the debt at the moment is a huge cloud of grey stopping us from enjoying life)

Hope this inspires and any words of encouragement would be appreciated.

LittleMissIndecisive xx

toothfairybuttkicker

Good luck it sounds very much like you are in a far better place right now
xxx

LittleMissIndecisive

I am thank you.

My life seemed to be one pickle after another. Feeling extremely focused and like I said it makes a HUGE difference having the support of someone you love.

I got some bargain Christmas presents today:

2 hardback polka dot baking cookbooks for £2.99 each (RRP £15.99)
2 horrid Henry books for £1 each.

Put them back to wrap up for Christmas. 3 presents sorted for £8!

Feeling positive!! Xx

wannabee_in_credit

Good luck littlemiss.
*subscribes*

LittleMissIndecisive

Thanks wannabee!

Discovered a money saving tip today....

I'm forever in Starbucks daydreaming/working (i find im more motivated in a different location) and will usually go for a grande latte (£2.50) then Tap water. Discovered today for £1.50 you could get a filter coffee (I ask for half coffee half hot milk - not as bad!) and you get free refills!

Woohoo! saved £1 today! Xx

ellerose

Oh LittleMissIndecisive I feel like we could be debt soul mates lol!! I arrived in my 'pickle' in a *very* similar fashion and I am also a teacher Just moved in with my *actual* soulmate and it's made so much difference to my debt progress - as I view it completely differently to when I was on my own! *subscribes* good luck x

LittleMissIndecisive

Hi Ellerose!

So reassuring to here someone is in a similar pickle to me.

I find it so frustrating that I can't do overtime in my job - well you can but its unpaid!

It's unbelievable how much one person can change your life isn't it?

It's going to be a tough journey, but I know I can do it!!

wannabee_in_credit

What age do you teach littlemiss? I'm a comp teacher and I do exam marking for a bit of extra £££.

LittleMissIndecisive

Hello Wanabee,

I'm a primary school teacher, currently teaching in Y6

Been looking at exam marking for SATs, not sure if I'd get it though based in Wales xx

LoveaDove

Hi LittleMissIndecisive,

Congratulations on a great start on your Debt Free Journey and for also coming out of the other side of some tough times!!

I really feel for what you've been through. I went through something very similar myself a year and a half ago (when I escaped). I moved to be with my ex, we were meant to move somewhere that suited both of us and was central to both of us (he was also from Wales, and myself from the other side of England). We ended up living somewhere nearer to his family and friends (long story) and he acquired a very well paid job. Job prospects were not as good for me in this new area, and I took on a job that meant I worked a lot independently and with lots of travel, which was quite isolating and lonely. He also wanted half for everything- even though he was on more than double my wage and berated me for trying to socialise with colleagues once every couple of weeks, as I was spending £1.25 on a 1/2 cider or a diet coke when I met up with them!!

I was on the receiving end of a lot of psychological abuse and like you, used to save to get away and see my family and friends for a weekend every couple of months, and towards the end every couple of weeks!! I was lucky that this only went on for 10 months before I admitted that it was not working, I was changing into an insecure and very lonely person at the hands of his constant criticism of me (something he had never shown before we lived together)- I didn't recognise myself. I swallowed my pride and with my tail between my legs left and returned home briefly, before I then moved in with several of my closest friends. May be a little earlier than I could afford, but financially it is all turning around... I couldn't be happier being back with good friends and family a year and a half later and I have a lovely bf who is the polar opposite to my ex! It looks like my ex also may have been seeing one of his colleagues during the last month we were together. Might explain a few things!!!

Apologies for the waffle! Looks like we have similar goals! Mine are to be debt-free, have an amazing holiday, save for a deposit and help my Ma with her mortgage!

:T:T

ellerose

LittleMissIndecisive wrote: »

Hi Ellerose!

So reassuring to here someone is in a similar pickle to me.

I find it so frustrating that I can't do overtime in my job - well you can but its unpaid!

It's unbelievable how much one person can change your life isn't it?

It's going to be a tough journey, but I know I can do it!!

I most definitely agree - this time last year I felt like as long as I was meeting my minimum payments, what did it matter how long I was in debt for? And within 12 months I want to be debt free so I can afford to get married and have a family - it's amazing what a good incentive can do

Braver than me working in primary, I work in 11-18 but no idea where I'd find the time for any more paid work! I mark exam papers in the summer, but find it very difficult and challenging to the old sanity.....