should i (ask to) go to ex mother in laws funeral

andipandi_2

my ex MIL died first of June, its her funeral next week and was wondering whether to ask my ex if i can attend or not.

although we didn't always see eye to eye,i have a certain amount of respect for her.

thanks
Andy

Jet

My Mum's funeral was yesterday and my ex twice said he wanted to come, but didn't.

We have a reasonable relationship nowadays but I was disappointed that he didn't come to be honest.

I think it depends on your relationship with your ex and if she has a new partner or not.

alwaysonthego_2

send her a card and say in it that you would like to attend because you respected her mother and if she does't ant you there, then you will understand

dounome

I think i would attend but stay out of the way at the back or whatever then just quietly slip away after it.

jenchin66

My ex came to my Mums funeral, I have remarried and ex was there to help support our kids, but kept in the background.

skint_spice

I would go, I still deal with my ex's folks a lot because of my son and it would be odd not too. I would just go to the funeral though and not the family bit after though - that might be too much.

mountainofdebt

My SIL ex went to my FIL's funeral and no-one thought that he shouldn't have.

tanith

Definately go if you are comfortable with it but as others suggest stay in the background and keep a lowish profile...

nats3006

I dont think anyone will really bother, your just paying your respects IMHO

Just go i cant see it being a problem you dont need an invatation as such!!

nats3006

obviously so long as you knew them!! cant be turning up at every tom d**k and harrys funerals!!

november

I asked my ex if it was OK if I could attend my ex mum in law's funeral because I had a lot of respect for her and indeed, loved her. Everyone was really pleased that I wanted to attend and I didn't end up in the background at all although I would have been willing to do so.

I asked because it felt more appropriate to do that rather than just turn up when people may have been wondering why and because I wanted to say it was because of my feelings for my ex mum in law and to give my condolences. I would, however, have been willing not to go had my presence had been thought to be inappropriate or disruptive.

I had a lot of respect for the family also that I was given a place in one of the cars and sat with the family during the service. Although admittedly it may have been more difficult had the children sat with Dad and Mum sat elsewhere and no new partners were involved.

I would say it depends on your relationship with your ex, whether children, new partners etc. are involved. I would either, depending on the relationship phone or send a card to give/send your condolences and ask if you may attend out of respect for your ex mum in law. If you have already sent a card I would phone and ask. In fact I think calling is preferable unless it seems really inappropriate.