Please advise, feel awful. Content may be upsetting

lisawood78

Hello everyone.
I didn't know if to put this here or anywhere really but I could use some advice.

I ran over a cat today

It dashed out as they so often do and the outcome was inevitable. I wasn't speeding, but I had no chance of avoiding the little thing.

Pulled up immediately and jumped out, cats legs were going like it was running then it just stopped.

I called out to a lady across the road who was on someone's doorstep, to see if she knew the cat. The lady said the owner lived there and it transpired that she had seen the collision and was going to tell her.

The owner came out and saw immediately what had happened, I was upset and shaking and said I'm so sorry. Owner said don't worry don't worry and ran to the cat.
She scooped her cat up and brought it back to where I was stood with the other lady. All I could say was I'm sorry, I couldn't do anything and the other lady said the same, she saw it happen and said 'it wasn't my fault'
Poor cat looked gone to me, not moving and eyes open. Owner was obviously upset but again said not your fault don't worry, and then went inside quickly.

I didn't really know what else to do then, I was shaking and crying. The other lady who turned out to be a neighbour said there was nothing else I could do and was I ok as I was shaking so much. I said I would be fine but was so sad what had happened. Then I asked if she would tell the owner again how sorry I was (when appropriate) and I went back to my car where I had to sit for a while to compose myself.

The owner did not come out with the cat to go to the vets or anything so I really do think it had died

But my point here is not my sadness or upset as I'm sure it is nothing compared to the owners, but wondering if I can or should do anything more.

I would happily pay any vets bills but I really don't think there would be any and in that respect I'd pay for any cremation costs but how do you go about offering something like that. Would you leave it entirely or wait a bit then send a card or a letter or something?

The town isn't where I live, I go there twice a week.

I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, as a loving pet owner myself I know this is a horrible time for the poor owner and family and would do anything I could to change it.

paulineb_2

Dont know what you can do, my mums cat was run over last year by someone who was very distressed about it, cat for some reason went around the front garden and decided to cross a road, not a main road but busy enough.

My mum didnt blame the girl and wouldnt have accepted money to pay for cremation costs.

I wouldnt send a card or letter either. If you were concerned that the owner perhaps might struggle financially with the costs of cremation I might ask via the neighbour if you could make a donation but thats all

It was just bad luck what happened to my mums cat and bad luck what happened to you today and you dont get over it, but nothing you can do about it now. Cats and dogs get killed on the road every day sadly

reehsetin

If you do want to apologise again could you maybe take some flowers,
I wouldn't explicitly offer money for a cremation but leave it as 'please let me know if there's anything I can do, as a pet owner myself I'd like to be able to help in any way I can'?

Try not to blame yourself accidents do happen

Melaniep101

Oh you poor thing ((((HUGS)))). I really feel for you as I would also be devastated. You sound like a very caring person, and I think a card sent to the owner would be a lovely idea. It sounds like the owner and neighbour understand that there was nothing you could do, it seems like a very unfortunate accident.

Don't beat yourself up about it, it clearly wasn't your fault. Cats are very unpredictable animals and often dart out in front or cars.

Person_one

Please try not to beat yourself up.

I ran over a cat once, similar circumstances, it bolted out from behind another car and there was no way I could possibly have avoided it. I was really shaken up too, I think that's to be expected. It really didn't help that when I was checking the poor thing for a collar (it was definitely dead, sadly) some !!!!!! made a loud 'miaow' noise out of their flat window and startled me half to death.

You don't need to do anything more, and I wouldn't. I would leave the owners to their grief. Cat owners who let their cats roam do so with the understanding that its a big risk to their safety, so this will be something they've always known could happen, sad though it is.

tea_lover

Oh lisa how awful for you My OH killed a cat (by accident!) a few years ago and it really shook him up. Please don't blame yourself, it really doesn't sound as if there was anything else you could have done/not done.

If you have the address, maybe send a card with your contact details offering to pay vet/cremation expenses? I don't think for a minute that you have any obligation you understand, but it may help you to feel that you've tried something.

I wouldn't have thought the owner would object to that - it's nothing intrusive or in her face, but just shows (again) how sorry you are for what happened. It also leaves the ball in her court, so if she'd rather just ignore it she can.

Hugs xx. Hope you have a nice calming evening planned to settle your nerves.

Stephb1986_2

Sorry to hear your day hasn't been great! It's easy done isn't it luckily I've never done it I'd be heartbroken.

If it was me personally I'd get a bunch of flowers with a card offering to maybe pay half toward the funeral costs?

Hugs

Steph xx

summerspring

It's a very common occurrence, unfortunately. Several of my family's cats have been run over, over the years. They have no road sense! Please try not to blame yourself.

paulineb_2

Some cats are outdoor cats, mine are indoor cats as I live in a flat and they cant get out as I live on a main bus route. My mum has 5 and shes in a back and front door and they generally go out of the back door but the day my mums cat was killed, she had sneaked round the front and across the road

My mum hasnt got over it, she blames herself but it wasnt her fault and it wasnt the girls fault who hit the cat either.

And all credit to you for staying, because some people would just have hit the cat and left it to die in the middle of the road

The problem with sending letters/cards/flowers is that you dont know if it will make matters worse or better. My mum wouldnt have expected a card and as I said earlier, she certainly wouldnt have expected a donation to cremation expenses

But as a poster above said, if you want to send a card, leaving your contact details and mention that you would make a donation to the cremation expenses, thats entirely up to you, decent of you, but if any of my cats god forbid did get out and ended up being hit by a car I wouldnt expect anything from the driver, Id realise that they would probably feel bad enough as it was.

sassyblue

I think you've been kind enough already to stop and offer your apologies, many don't, that would have meant alot to the owner l'm sure.

Next time you pass you could stop and take a card and some flowers but l'm not sure it's necessary, this is the peril of being a cat owner.

Look after yourself Lisa, these things happen, it sounds like it couldn't have been avoided xxx

poet123

These things happen. I would wait a few days and then send some flowers, I wouldn't do more than that and it won't be expected.

Don't dwell on it either you did all you could and the owner will know that.