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Sandbagged ...again :(

I'm generally coming to terms with being on my own again, after almost 50 years of marriage - I've got myself a part-time job, see friends and family and go off on holiday, etc etc etc.

I'm beginning to appreciate the fact that I can eat what I want, when I want, go out when I want, choose TV programmes without "bargaining rights" - I've even started redesigning the garden to suit me.

So it comes like a sandbag hitting the back of the knees when I've come in from the garden in tears. Why? Because my lovely next-door neighbours are having a nice little family party in their own back-garden - and it's not us having it in our backgarden :(

It's not that they're being noisy - they certainly aren't - but there was I, content (so I thought) in my little bubble - and there they were - just enjoying the same sort of evening that we used to have. Brought it all back :(

Time now to have a white wine spritzer, I think !
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Comments

  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    I think your feelings are completely natural. However well you are adjusting to being on your own, every now and then something will happen that reminds you of your old life, and what you use to share and enjoy. It would be odd if that didn't effect you and knock you a bit. I hope you have a relaxing evening and feel better soon. Sending you a big hug.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • Brighton_belle
    Brighton_belle Posts: 5,223 Forumite
    Yeah, life can be totally rubbish sometimes Thorsoak. I certainly won't be coming out with any platitudes. Just wanted to say I'm sorry.
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
  • mountainofdebt
    mountainofdebt Posts: 7,795 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I've often thought that when you lose someone, you can deal with the big events (birthdays, christmas etc) as you know when they're coming up so can start to mentally prepare for them......but its the little things that hit you for six and its those that are the hardest.
    2014 Target;
    To overpay CC by £1,000.
    Overpayment to date : £310

    2nd Purse Challenge:
    £15.88 saved to date
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Sometimes life decides to bite you on the bum and you just have to take it on the chin (aren't mixed metaphors wonderful!)
    Enjoy your drink.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    edited 4 August 2013 at 8:05AM
    Nothing to say really thorsoak. I've admired you so much, and I admire you tonight just as much. I'm not a hugger, and I cannot drink ATM, but I'll chink a virtual glass with you? Best wishes.
  • meritaten
    meritaten Posts: 24,158 Forumite
    it is no consolation thorsoak - but, in years to come your neighbours are going to be in your position.
    if you have similar memories to 'dig out', have your glass of wine and revel in past memories.
    I can hear my next door but two neighbours - they were having a bbq earlier and the little ones disgust at her daddies cooking reminded me of MY kids - 'Daaaad - I don't like crunchy sausages'!
    lol - my DD always used to say - 'Daaaad don't do my sausages crispy'!
  • SmallL
    SmallL Posts: 944 Forumite
    Bless you, i watched my OH's dad struggle with the loss of his wife of over 30 years to cancer.
    Everything reminded him of her, the once busy family home was silent as everyone had flew the nest...then his wife had passed. He struggled to sleep in his bed without her and resorted to late nights at the pub, staggering home then passing out.
    This was over 3 years ago, but the memory is still raw. We had our engagement party at his house and i couldn't help but feel that 'she should have been here' and that it was a terrible shame and really upsetting that she wasn't their to see her son and partner get engaged.

    All the best x
  • elmer
    elmer Posts: 939 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Photogenic
    Oh Thorsoak, i dont have any advice, I just wanted to say that Im thinking of you, life sometimes does sandbag you when you arent expecting it, doesnt it?

    elmer xx
  • zaksmum
    zaksmum Posts: 5,529 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Wouldn't you think your next door neighbours would've invited you over, Thorsoak?

    A little bit of consideration goes a long way.

    A lady in my road lost her husband a year ago and she's always being invited in to others' houses/parties/days out etc.

    Sending you a hug though and thinking of you
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    zaksmum wrote: »
    Wouldn't you think your next door neighbours would've invited you over, Thorsoak?

    A little bit of consideration goes a long way.

    A lady in my road lost her husband a year ago and she's always being invited in to others' houses/parties/days out etc.

    Sending you a hug though and thinking of you

    Sometimes people just need to have some family time. Maybe it was one of those occasions.

    Maybe though, thorsoak, maybe you could host a family gathering now? Would it be too much? Something different to how it used to be maybe, but at home?
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