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Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues
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I used to feel like that. Once I became Dr, I used it at work but not anywhere else. (Teachers, of course, are still called by their title and surname all day every day, unlike people in most grown-up jobs.) Then when LNE left I became uncomfortable with Mrs, so now I use Dr all the time. I usually make a throwaway comment about why, though, so as not to seem pretentious.
Sorry Lydia - no disrespect intended, and I can quite see why you prefer Dr. Chulmondenley-Smith to Mrs Chulmondenley-Smith. (Hope you don't mind me using your real name on the NP thread.....)
At work, in court etc, I'm always Miss NDG. OH should be Mr. NDB, but because he has a difficult to pronounce surname, he frequently gets called, "Mr... er.... Counsel for the Appellant".PasturesNew wrote: »It's what the locals do, when it's nearly midnight and you're bored of sitting ont he swings at the rec.
Just Computer Science.
"Just" nothing!
DD is 10 today. It has gone reasonably well, and I am trying to get her to focus on all the good stuff rather than the few things that weren't quite as she wanted them. Attaching so much importance to an ideal concept of a birthday is a sure route to disappointment.
Happy Birthday to DD! You can tell her that the necklace en route to her via LIR is a birthday present, and I hope she likes it.PasturesNew wrote: »I am not at home, I'm away .... sat and watched the gig championships today, thank god it was only the final (so dull). There's some untold story there as the champs withdrew (which means they turned up and left....) and the local team won (unheard of). Blimey it was hot. Had a pasty.
Delighted to hear it's hot, as I think you're very near where we're going on holiday tomorrow....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
In my previous job, we were all Mr Jones and Mrs Smith, which is quite unusual in the college sector, but utterly routine in the school sector. It meant we had to learn two sets of names but was worth it.
Two sets of names? How come?
I'm reminded of one of the QC cartoons in the Times, where a senior clerk is explaining the way things are to a new junior clerk:
"If I call him John, you call him Mr. Smith. If I call him Mr. Smith, you call him Sir. If I call him Sir, you never, ever, speak to him."...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Two sets of names? How come?
I'm reminded of one of the QC cartoons in the Times, where a senior clerk is explaining the way things are to a new junior clerk:
"If I call him John, you call him Mr. Smith. If I call him Mr. Smith, you call him Sir. If I call him Sir, you never, ever, speak to him."
I have loadsa names.
.
I usually use
'Lost' or a derivation of it, but I do find it frustrating sometimes when others just launch into it. Not friend, but professionals.
Eg, if a dr or consultant wants me to call them dr or mr who ever and then they say may I call you lost I smile and say 'well, how do you feel about me using your first name'. I'm happy to be on equal name terms with all of them.
I love using sir and ma'am. They are very satisfying words. And only as respectful as one means them to be.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »I have loadsa names..
Why be difficult when, with a little effort, you can be impossible?...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
Well, the email I BCC'd myself on has just arrived in my inbox.
I have the dregs of a box of wine drained into a glass.
And a whole 5 minutes to spare.
:j Good for you and well done.
Bit of a nightmare week as the old foundations for old sun-lounge are being dug up and turned out to have enough strength + concrete with steel cage to support a whole block of flats. Sadly building control and new drains mean we have to dig up and relay it not re-use.
OH has been at it with the Hilti digger all weekend which is like having a giant super strength power plate workout. I did a vid of him so will pop it up if I get a mo to put on YT.
I have read random pages so got most of the news
Dragged poor MK onto the cable cars the other day but nice to be able to say we did it....and caught up on all the goss.0 -
I don't think my Dad ever used his title for anything (Prof) and never put qualification letters after his name.0
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neverdespairgirl wrote: »Sorry Lydia - no disrespect intended, and I can quite see why you prefer Dr. Chulmondenley-Smith to Mrs Chulmondenley-Smith. (Hope you don't mind me using your real name on the NP thread.....)
I didn't feel disrespected.
I don't entirely like using Dr Chulmondenley-Smith for precisely that reason... I don't want to be perceived as the kind of self-important imbecile who wants the whole world to know my qualifications regardless of their irrelevance to the situation at hand. I usually avoid mentioning my title at all unless asked for it, and then my standard reply is "Dr... I gave up using Mrs when he walked out," with an accompanying smile. It's usually met with an understanding smile back. Should I ever get married again, I will probably take my new husband's name and call myself Dr Bloggs at work and Mrs Bloggs everywhere else.
My qualification letters go in the school's official list of staff, and absolutely nowhere else.neverdespairgirl wrote: »Happy Birthday to DD! You can tell her that the necklace en route to her via LIR is a birthday present, and I hope she likes it.
Ah! Light dawns. Now I understand what your PM was about. Today has been understandably busy or I should have replied to the PM expressing my mystification by now. That's very thoughtful of you. Thank you so much.neverdespairgirl wrote: »Two sets of names? How come?
If you meet John Smith in the staff room, you say "Hi John. How was your summer holiday?" If you speak to a student about him, you say "You'll need to hand that in to Mr Smith on Friday."Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
If you meet John Smith in the staff room, you say "Hi John. How was your summer holiday?" If you speak to a student about him, you say "You'll need to hand that in to Mr Smith on Friday."
Barristers use Mr or Miss Smith a lot - rarely Mrs, and it's not a great idea to change your name once you've started, so some women barristers are Miss Smith at work and Mrs Baker in the rest of their lives, some just stick with Miss Jane Smith everywhere, even if married.
There are complicated rules about names, however. You never use a first name in court, and you refer to other barristers as "my learned friend", and solicitors as "my friend". So you can either say, "my learned friend Mr. Smith says...." or, "my learned friend for the Secretary of State for the Home Department says...." (and it's not learned produced as in, "I learned today that..." but learn-ed, with the last syllable pronounced.)
It's particuarly important when you are being critical - "with the greatest of respect to my learned friend Mr. Smith,[STRIKE] he wouldn't recognise a statute if he fell over one[/STRIKE] he has misinterpreted the relevant legislative provision......"
But outside the courtroom, the fact that all barristers are "learned friends" means it's extremely bad manners to call a barrister by anything other than his first name, or surname-no-title, as it implies that you don't consider him a "proper" barrister. So you can call him John, or Smith, but "Mr. Smith" is an insult.
Barristers also are not supposed to shake hands when introduced, because as you are already "learned friends" no such gesture should be made.
It can cause trouble - a long-standing and much-respected Court of Appeal judge re-joined OH's Chambers as a door tenant when he retired. OH, like the other more junior barristers in the Chambers, couldn't call him "My Lord", but felt unable to call him, "oy! Dave!". So he got called <throat clearing> "uh-hum?" for several months.
My Chambers, and OH's as well, are "modern", and so everyone except the Heads of our Chambers are called by their first names by all but the most junior of the clerks, in private - but any hint of a solicitor or lay client within earshot and they revert instantly to "Miss NDG", whereas clerks are always, always called by their first names by all barristers....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Why be difficult when, with a little effort, you can be impossible?
I think I am one of those people it just comes naturally to.
:D 0 -
Lydia, you should have post today in fact, having played postman and seen what NDG was sending I decided to insure it in the post instead of just send it!0
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