Fed up of being the family's Money Muppet

FalseEconomist

Ok so confession coming up...... and justification coming soon after:rotfl:

I went to visit my shoes. They had missed me. I tried them on. They asked to come home with me. But as the price tag still said £40 I bid them farewell, there were tears on both sides.

I walked home slowly, thinking about them. Wondering what they were doing now - had they found a new pair of feet? Did they even remember mine?

Like always, when an obsession takes hold of me I turned to the internet. Perhaps shoe !!!!!! on ebay would fill the gap that until yesterday I didn't even know existed, but now I knew would be so hard to fill. When, lo and behold! there they were, my shoes! in my size (well, half a size bigger but who's counting anyway?) and..... twenty pounds cheaper! I had to share the news and immediately texted Mr FE. We all know by now what he texted back, and within a few clicks the shoes were mine and a kindly worded message from the vendor had popped into the inbox.

Then, the guilt set in - seeping through the warm triumph of the bargain hunted and caught. I had to make this money back (you understand there wasn't a hope in hell of me cancelling the transaction - these shoes are MINE Goddamit). So, twenty minutes, some frantic photo taking and imaginative descriptions later and four items are listed on ebay, and I will continue to list and sell until these shoes are paid for and I no longer feel I'm taking bread from my children's mouths. Talking of which, I made a delicious banana tea-bread this morning. I digress.

Don't judge me fellow MSErs. Or if you do, do it quietly and on someone else's thread

FacelessNumber

Mmm I love shoes! But you definitely need a strategy for dealing with your wants! Just read your thread, good luck!

FalseEconomist

I cannot believe I have just cracked my phone screen again! Never done it in my life then twice in two months!! At least this time it's not smashed to smithereens and is not affecting how I'm using it- so for now dear phone you must stay cracked. Seriously though.... What a cack-handed fool I am!

FalseEconomist

Right, weather vile today so am going to do some mental ebaying. Am going to try to be ruthless, and also put on some stuff that I don't think will even sell- after all- I bought it didn't I? So there must be some other mug out there too!

scotdebs

Don't be hard on yourself FE for the shoes am sure your feet deserve them and if its the kick start to get you ebaying then hurrah:j am sure you will recoup all the cash and more in no time

FalseEconomist

Thanks SD- yes I have banked a tenner already (which is good as milk, bread and egg supplies had run low in the FE household) and made another couple of quid which once it hits PayPal I will use to pay of my FIL's Xmas present- because I have a new plan! It may even be a cunning one worthy of a Baldrick impression- we are yet to see......
There are approximately 14 weeks to Xmas- and I need to buy approximately 14 presents ...... Can anyone guess what my plan is yet?!?

Having already bought DD's pressie this week (well, last week now- am
On another night shift!) I have chosen a present for FIL to be this week's.

Am so keen to avoid the whole 'pay-a-small-fortune-panic-buying-tat-that-nobody-really-wants-then-spending-January-eating-baked-beans-and-dust' debacle that usually occurs in the Economist abode. So, a present a week- my personal challenge- will try and update signature later to reflect this.

MrsSmith2013

Brilliant idea with the chirstmas shopping FE... can't believe its only 14 weeks away... gulp!

I'm trying to do the same, buy things each week, or each time I have some spare money/amazon vouchers etc!! I've got a few bits for the kids already, so am just building on that.

Here's to a non-skint eating beans for the whole of January for us both!

Mrs S x

FalseEconomist

So, money into my account and money straight out again! But car tax bought today a fifty pound shop done at aldi- nice to have food in the house again

Did a little bit of spending today- have wanted a new buggy for baby for a while (one we currently have is falling to pieces and was a second hand freebie when we got it two years ago)- found a good one in a charity shop for 7.50 so snapped it up- went in lots of charity shops today and this was by far the nicest and the only one with reasonable prices - am I the only one who think charity shops have got a bit overexcited with their prices recently? (Does that make me sound like a bit of a tightwad skiprat?!)

Anyway, buggy should last another two years until we don't need it anymore so all good. Money still looking tight this month but all doable I think (hope!).

Got about 6 things on eBay at the moment so possibly even a few more pennies to come

Mara_uk7

Youre right about the charity shops .. The Red Cross one in our town has gone so upmarket that you dont want to donate anything as the staff look down their noses at some stuff ! They charge astronomical prices for everything, but especially the paperback books, so theve lost me as a customer completely.
I usually buy a bagful from another charity shop, read them then donate them back, so they make money from me all ways ! lol

FalseEconomist

Can't believe it's been 2 years since my last post. Yes I can, I'm nothing if not inconsistent. (Does that make me consistently inconsistent? Is that even possible?)

Life has changed a good deal, and for the better although debts have increased and old habits have refused to die, hard or otherwise.

Good news first: We are homeowners!! That dream was realised in July 2014 thanks to the governments new scheme freeing up mortgages and my mother loaning us the money for the deposit.

We were sort of forced into the move as our landlords decided to sell the cottage we were in. I was gutted as I really loved it and was devastated at the thought of another move so soon ( our fifth since 2008!). Also there was no way we would be able to afford to buy in that village as it is a desirable cotswolds village with 3 beds starting at circa 250k, and precious few of those.

However, an old friend of hubby's came into his own as a mortgage adviser and after a twenty minute meeting with him in a motorway service station we applied (and were ultimately accepted) for our very own shiny new mortgage. We found a house in a lovely little village not too far from the original and even closer to hubby's work and moved a couple of months later.

We've been here a year and all is well. DS settled well into the village primary school and DD who has just turned 3 is adorable and starts full time (well nearly) pre-school after Christmas.

Also I have been able to up my hours at work which has helped financially. I also completed the diploma I was doing. Hoping to complete the masters next year.

Now for the bad: As soon as money freed up a bit I completely took my eye off the ball and naturally the same things happened. Consolidation loans freed up credit cards, cars broke and with no emergency savings loans were taken out. And so on, and so on.

My second LBM (so I guess, my first?) was on holiday this year when despite having a large handout from OH's dad earlier in the year which should have been plenty, we were two days into the new pay month and three into our 14 day caravan holiday when both our banks sent the dreaded 'you are over your limit' texes. Cue having to ask for another handout from the father in law and a holiday which whilst it was lovely, had the stressful burden of debt hanging over it.

So, no more!!!!

We are a solvent family. this is because of bad money management. Also, I came to a bit of a light bulb moment of my own just a few days ago. I thought I was on top of my mental health problems (mild but recurrent depression) but I realised that whilst I may not have disordered eating any more, whilst I may no longer self harm, whilst I may not drink, take drugs or exercise compulsively, I AM a compulsive shopper.

this is the sort of label which raises a smile from some people, but for us it has created a real financial burden. I did some research into the problem and found out there are several different profiles and I fit about three of them. I can't resist a 'bargain', most of my spending is in second hand shops and online auction sites. My self-image is not what it could be and so I'm permanently looking for that 1 item which will 'transform' my image and my life (Because Polyester has actual magical powers dontcha know?). I spend to relieve the stress caused by debt.

No. I SPENT to relieve the stress. I've talked it through seriously with my husband and we've put changes in place. These include not visiting malls/shopping centres as 'days out' and various other things suggested by self help books.

since then I've drawn up a budget, downloaded YNAB software (only this morning so am really trying hard to get to grips with it).

Our debts have been consolidated (AGAIN) but credit card accounts are closed (last one paid off this morning). Saving funds such as Car repair/Emergency/Christmas have been started.
Next month we WILL make it to the end of the month without one 'warning' text from the bank and no overdraft fees incurred, I am determined!

One thing I'm proud of, is that for every loan we've taken, we've never defaulted. For me that is important (more so really concerning loans from family. Premierman etc take their own chances!)

What a waffle, but actually it's been quite cathartic to write it down.