what do you think..

Guest101

I get the feeling it's something you wanted too, and whilst sensibly you may have said yes, but lets wait. He may have thought it a nice surprise to go and get it.

I know countless time when im supposed to read between the lines, and i get it wrong every time! Women are from venus!!

sukysue

I think he wanted to surprise you Victory if it was something you both wanted then leave it go and enjoy .

ilovelondontown

Given that my husband and I are head strong on getting out of debt and have already foregone a holiday and other luxuries in order to do it this year I'd be really peeved if he went ahead and purchased something we agreed we couldn't affort and get into debt for.

Part of the reaons we are in as much debt as we are is because we had this attitude before. Not to say this an issue for you but going forward commuicating and agreeing together when it comes to finances is our big "thing" now.

millysg1

Did he buy it with both your money or was it out his own pocket? I know i would be peeved either way especially if we discussed and agreed but then he went off and did what he wanted.

How anoyed would depend on a couple things, if it was his money or joint money and how big the purchase was.
Me and my OH want to buy a sofa, same as you we wouldnt get into any debt as saved up, but we have sofas we can use so not desperate but they are pretty old and grubby now. We have agreed to wait a couple more months but if he went off and spent a couple grand of our joint money sooner than we have agreed id be annoyed as there are reasons why we decided to wait and those reasons are still valid. We also need some more DVD stands as we have ran out of space and again we are waiting a couple months but i think i would be less annoyed if he went out and spent £30 on a new DVD stand as it doent make a noticable dent on the savings and the arguement isnt worth it over £30.

snow_ball

I think he was trying to be sensible by having the discussion with you and again in agreeing with you that the purchase could wait. But then he couldn't resist having another look, decided it was too good a price to miss and just decided to buy it.

If it was affordable out of his own money, I wouldn't mind or take it too personally.

MakeupAddict_2

Questions...

Does he regularly ask you for your opinion and discuss it, then ignore the result?

Your posts are peppered with faces. Do you mean them?

Did your attitude in the 'talk' say 'I'm being sensible by saying wait, but actually I really, really want it and would love to get it'?

How's your relationship generally?

Did it come out of his money or was it joint?

The answers to those questions will all shape how you respond. But I suggest you just ask him why he did it and take it from there. If it was because he felt you'd love it, give him a hug but tell him not to bother wasting his breath and yours by having a talk in future, just ask you whether you want it. If he's ignored what you said because he wanted it, tell him to play straight in future and say so.

You don't need to be aggressive, in fact you shouldn't be, but I think it's a good idea to communicate rather than just letting it go.

MuAx

Person_one

He may have been in full agreement with you at the time of the discussion, and then later on the spur of the moment thought "You know what, I'm just going to get it now, why wait?"

Its not so terrible, he knew you weren't completely opposed to it, he knew you were ok with getting it fairly soon. Its not as if you'd completely vetoed the idea and he did it anyway, he just brought the timescales forward a bit!

I confess, I'm dying to know what 'it' was. Is it something that might have sold out? Was it a particularly good price at the time? Id it seasonal and you can get more use out of it in the current weather? Don't leave us in suspense!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

So he talked to you, you agreed it would be nice. You didn't go 'absolutely not! What an awful idea!'.

He went and bought it, knowing you thought it would be nice to have it.



And, in any case, when you ask for somebody's opinion, it doesn't mean you are asking for permission - you want to know what they think, that's all.

I've had similar conversations;

'I really want to get this musical instrument'

'Wouldn't you be better getting some carpet in your bedroom?'

'Probably'



Needless to say, I still have bare floorboards

dibuzz

19lottie82 wrote: »

can't give much of an answer unless we know what it is?

victory wrote: »

That doesn't matter,

Yes it does, we are a right nosy bunch on here :rotfl:

malcumms7898

victory wrote: »

Thanks:D that is what I am trying to say, how to feel about it because as far as I knew we were getting it but not now, later and had agreed that

Maybe he misunderstood, I am assuming he purchased it "later" than your conversation about buying it later, so perhaps his definition of later was not as long as yours?