Working out money in a marriage.

penaltychargenotice

Would love to hear other people's ideas and experiences please.

We have been married for 12 years now and over the last four or five years we have got into some serious debt. I have made a plan or budget to get things back on track and I think if we stick to it we can sort it out.
So I have realized that my dear hubby is a bit rubbish with money and part of the budget basically involves me giving him an allowance for his needs and then I make myself responsible for managing the bills and household budget. I have calculated that I can just about get everything I need for the family this way. Our current method always leaves me desperately short of money for essentials (like food) which is why we end up using the credit card.

Has anyone done this where one partner manages the money on behalf of the other? Did it work/can it work?

I would be interested to hear people's experiences.

EmmaBridgewater

penaltychargenotice wrote: »

Would love to hear other people's ideas and experiences please.

We have been married for 12 years now and over the last four or five years we have got into some serious debt. I have made a plan or budget to get things back on track and I think if we stick to it we can sort it out.
So I have realized that my dear hubby is a bit rubbish with money and part of the budget basically involves me giving him an allowance for his needs and then I make myself responsible for managing the bills and household budget. I have calculated that I can just about get everything I need for the family this way. Our current method always leaves me desperately short of money for essentials (like food) which is why we end up using the credit card.

Has anyone done this where one partner manages the money on behalf of the other? Did it work/can it work?

I would be interested to hear people's experiences.

Yes of course. My mum manages all my parents finances (day to day, anyway, they sort out bills between the, but mum pays). All money into joint account and my mum gives dad a sort of allowance for his weekly pub visits.

We live very rurally but pub is only time Dad spends!

Prothet_of_Doom

Here is an idea.

Get a small safe, get 2 padlocks on it. Put all your cards into the safe.

Change passwords on internet banking, and make sure only you know it.

Once a month, get the keys, open the safe, and get out all the cash you both need for the month.

When he spends his before month end, refuse to open the box.

Try to account for every penny with receipts, and sit down at the end of the month and go through what you all spent.

maman

It's not unusual at all.

We do something similar but maybe because it's a job I can do (quite well I think ) and enjoy but my DH pulls his weight in other ways. He loves it when we go out with friends and he says 'my equerry will pay' when the bill comes.

We have had criticism but that's mainly from old dinosaurs who think they should provide and that it's not something for the little woman to worry her head over!:rotfl:

What is important is that your DH is firmly with you on this. He has to agree otherwise it might build up resentment and he might find ways of sabotaging (like having his own CC).

My DH is good with money so we each contribute to a shared finances pot but have our own personal accounts to manage our own spends. If your DH is just given 'pocket money' he may not be so happy. Oh and make sure you have an equal amount of 'pocket money' too!!

Alpha58

OP, this cand and does work but only if you both accept it. I'm rubbish with money so my wife manages it - all salaries go into joint account and she settles SOs. DDs and other expenses from there. If I need some money she transfers it to my account. That said, it wasn't until I accepted that I was hopeless that it could work (my fault I know) so locking money in a safe? I would expend the effort on discussing it and reaching an agreement!

cloudy11

We do this. My husband is much better than me at managing finances and he actually genuinely enjoys it, where for me it's a total chore and something I try to avoid at all costs. We both fully discuss everything though and I know about everything, but he actively manages it and it works much better for us this way.

When we used to do everything separately we got into some debt as neither of us were properly managing the whole finances- just our own. This way works much better for us!

One thing I would say though is that I know about everything and have access to every account, so I am never left in the dark and I still have complete joint control that way- it's not as though he just tells me what's going on and I blindly accept it with no way of dealing with the finances on my own! We just play to our individual strengths.

bylromarha

penaltychargenotice wrote: »

Has anyone done this where one partner manages the money on behalf of the other? Did it work/can it work?

I would be interested to hear people's experiences.

How does your husband feel about it?

You can get all the experiences you want on here, but it's his attitude, and agreement to it, that will be the only factor on whether this works or not.

chelseablue

We do this

I sort out all the bill payments, OH gets some money to spend on himself and whatever is left gets saved

He hates it but knows he's useless with money so it works for him and us

Desperado99

I'm 'in charge' of the money, but that's mainly because OH has no interest in it and knows he can trust me.

It also helps me as I'm the 'spender' in the relationship, so by moving money out into savings accounts I'm doing us both a favour. Although he doesn't have an allowance as such, I know pretty much what he spends and anything out of the ordinary he'll tell me. I think it works because I tend to think much more long term about money than he does.

cats2012

I manage all of ours, but OH can take whatever he needs.

He hates managaing money so I deal with all accounts etc, but he has his "own" credit card - paid out the same joint current account but the deal is I don't question what's on there as long as it's within an upper limit we've set together.

Works really well for us

lippy1923

We do this. Both our wages go into joint account, I settle bills and other expenses, then work out what's left and transfer the remainder to him. It works.

I have to admit, he doesn't always like this. Sometimes feels a bit peeved I'm treating him like a child but then I ask him if he wants to sort the bills and do it his way and he rethinks his little strop