Real-life MMD: Should I pay fixed contribution for teacher's gift?

geordie_ben

What ever happened to a good ol' shiny apple?!

PasturesNew

A voluntary £1 apiece should be more than enough.

MattieCat

Whilst it may be nice to give a valued teached a small gift (chocs, plant, flowers) it it absolutely outrageous to collect any sum of money from each child, let alone £25!!! Whatever the sum, children whose parents do not want to donate will feel like the odd one out. I thought all teachers now had to make sure that all children felt exactly the same (ie not having winners in races). This is tantamount to blackmail.

aubergine

This is completely outrageous. A card or small token, preferably home made is fine, or a nominal voluntary collection. Anything more should be reserved for going above and beyond the call of duty.

Don't pay it, encourage other parents not to pay, complain to anyone and everyone and explain clearly to your son why.

Thank goodness this is the exception.

GHB

No, definitely not. As a retired teacher I can honestly say that I never expected or wanted any gifts at the end of the year apart from the knowledge that I had helped every child in my class to achieve their full potential. If this school has to have a gift policy it should be left up to individual parents to give what they want and certainly no pressure should be applied nor any child made to feel guilty because their parents couldn't/wouldn't contribute.

monaebrook

This whole thing makes me so cross. Just when did we get to the stage where we gave 'presents' to teachers at the end of term as a matter of course? When I was at school there was no such thing, yet scroll forward to when my DD's attend and the 'gifts' seem to be some sort of status thing between parents. I am not sure of the teachers from DD's Primary Schools thoughts on this, but it always made me cringe seeing the parade of parents carrying the gift bags/boxes up to the school when they dropped their little darlings. My DD's gave a very small token gift (against my better judgement as I believe the teacher was actually doing their job!!!) and it was always in the form of sweets/biscuits which are consumable. Had I ever been asked for a £25 donation I would NOT have paid and complained vociferously to both the head and Education Department. To put such pressure on children who are all desperate to fit in is horrendous! Shame on you, the teacher who requested this. Thank goodness my DD's are now in secondary school and none of this nonsense applies any more!

marleyboy

£25 combined from all the children I would consider as too much. Not a prayer would I donate a full £25 to a teacher of my Son, and he is disabled.

A simple Thank You card signed by the class, should be more than enough for any teacher to leave with.

Snowy_Owl

No!!!!

As a teacher this is obscene!! I don't expect gifts - the best I've had are the homemade cards and pictures and I tend to put on my wall in my home office - they make me smile!! I had an apple made out of the bottoms of two fizzy juice juice bottles, one put in the other with red tissue in it. Home made sweeties inside that. The twiggy bit was a clothes peg with crafty foam cut in the shape of a leaf. THAT was the most original gift I've ever been given!

LastCatastrophe

Fujiko wrote: »

Why, I wonder, is the child so worried about not fitting in? How will anyone know? This presupposes that the teacher will be keeping a list of pupils' names and will put a tick against each one as the money comes in and will then make it known to the whole class who has not contributed. Unbelievable! Would any teacher really humiliate a child in this way?

I would imagine that it's the child who brings the money in. It's the child who goes into the school, so they would be handing it over. When I was at school, any money required for trips etc. was given to us kids by our parents; we then passed it onto our teachers, who collected it.

There is also the fact that kids do talk to each other and they might ask each other "Did you bring in your £25 for [teacher's name]?"

oldtrout wrote: »

Yet another case of MSE making their MMDs up!!!

Hardly a dilemma is it? £25? NO WAY ... Voluntary, ANONYMOUS contributions fine... the child doesn't need to know the amount their parent has contributed.

Total unacceptable!

Your username is wonderfully apt.

wildthing01

i'm sorry - is this real? school are demanding £25 per pupil?? that is clearly outrageous. is this a private school by any chance? and the teacher saying she wants John Lewis vouchers instead of charity donation is clearly being incredibly unprofessional.

however the real issue is not the money but the effect the situation is having on the son. few children want to be the odd one out at school, but how does he learn the value of money if the parent pays the money? it's a tough one.

if it were me, personally, I'd pay the money so as not to stigmatise the child (i wouldn't want them suffering because of my actions) BUT i'd send it in with an extremely strongly worded letter, copied to the governors, Chief Exec of Local Authority (if a state school) and possibly also local newspaper and/or MP, stating that i was paying so as not to upset my child but that i strongly begrudged doing so and detailing the emotional impact of the demands on my child.

i'd then be seriously re-considering whether this was the sort of environment i wanted my child educated in.