Newborn adoption/surrogacy

VK-2008

Hi

Looking for any hints or tips
My dh and i have been trying for a family for several years
We are going through fertility treatment with no success at the moment
No reason for it not to work - unexplained

I know there are several options for adoption which i am open too however i would like a baby for at least one child thereaftet adopt any age

What options are there for adoption or surrogacy smare there in the uk
With a surrogate what etc is the costings involved
Also whats the overseas opportunity like also

The internet is an amazing thing but the question is where to start

All help advice and experiences are welcome

Thanks greatly in advance

ineed

I don't know much about adoption but I've heard it's very hard to adopt a newborn. Your best bet might be a surrogate if your heart is set on a newborn.

Some links to help you, http://www.surrogacyuk.org/about_surrogacy from that link,


Surrogacy is legal in the UK, but:

No third party should be involved on a commercial basis – that is, receive fees for ‘brokering’ a surrogacy relationship. Surrogacy UK does not broker surrogacy relationships. Rather, through our boards, IP profiles and events we create opportunities for surrogate mothers to get to know their parents to be

Advertising for a surrogate is not allowed, nor is advertising to be a surrogate

The surrogate can only receive payment to cover the expenses that she has incurred in being pregnant for her intended parents

International adoption http://www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk/.

This might also be helpful http://www.adoptionuk.org/

Good luck.

VK-2008

Thanks i will have a look at those links later today
I am living in scotland so dont know if it will follow same as english laws

Have you been through this yourself

I know if we go in for adoption the youngest we would get would be about a year
We are still young 26 so wouldnt want to adopt too old
We are trying just to weigh up all the options
The pros and cons and costs also

ineed

I know I noticed you lived in Inverness so corrected my post . I haven't no, I have no desire to have children of my own (I'm the same age as you, turned 26 beginning of the month) but I know many people who do desire children, and I'd heard adopting newborns was hard here.

I really do wish you luck, I can't imagine how daunting the whole process must be.

the_pink_panther_2

I know this might sound a stupid question, but I've got to ask... did they explain even potential causes of unexplained infertility? Have you been offered any fertility treatment? You're young still and at 26, if they haven't discovered an underlying cause then maybe it'll still happen? There's a book called Taking Charge of your fertility, which generally had excellent reviews on Amazon, have you looked at that? I think there was a section on unexplained infertility there, I can double check if you like. I apologies if I'm mentioning things you've already looked into and rejected, but thought I'd mention on the off chance.

GoldenShadow

Certainly possible to adopt less than a year the wait can just be long (perhaps in some part of the country it is not possible). My friend adopted her son aged 10 months *but* he was meant to be with her at 7.5 months. Social worker left and new one didn't start for a while and it all got put back a while. Newborns are very different though I think. There is so much work involved in adoption and I think the list for a newborn is always crazy long.

keigcf

Why not make some enquiries to your local authority, find out what the options are from them. In our area I know of babies being moved to adoptive parents at around 6 months. A lot more around the 1-2 age mind.

clairec79

You say if you were to adopt you would like a baby first but would consider adopting an older child afterwards - have you thought about family adoption?
Often they want to keep siblings together, if there was (for example) a brother and sister, one of 4 and one of a few months, would that be something you'd consider?

I do know someone who adopted a family of three and then a year later got a phone call saying the birth mother was pregnant again and did they want to adopt the newborn (this was before the birth) as the birth mother wanted the baby to know its siblings

Kayalana99

As someone said above, adoption minimum is 6months, you can have them eariler if you 'foster' them for up to 6months but its very rare cases they do this. Even if baby is taken at birth from mother they go into foster care to start with, you would never have a newborn unless it was a surrogate.

In a case I know about, they adopted a baby from 6months then were rang about a 2nd child by the same mother and would they like to adopt and got her at 3months because they fostered her so even in that case it was a 3month baby.

VK-2008

The fertility thing been thorougly investigated and just no reason for it
Cruel - it feels - not knowing
But you take the hand your given and work with it and get on with life i feel
Istill have a chance it can work through ivf but trying to lookahead at further options
I would consider siblings
My friend has adopted recently so seen what shewent through
Uk process seems quite long and thorough
You hear of things in other cojntries where lots of babies are not wanted and up for adoption
Heads spinning with options but really like to find some people who have been there done that
Beforevwe take steps to apply we need to know what is our choices if that makes sense
It wont be a rash decision to jump in
I have heard a lot of issues over legal status over children when they are being adopted- they can ve taken off you in some circumstances
With regards to fostering i feel once i am older and my family are grown up i would foster to help people who need it

Sorry if this is a ramble

GoldenShadow

The process can be long. I know with my friend it was about two and a half years all in.

My BIL and SIL have started the process via Barnardo's, they said the lower limit is 1 year, they've selected anywhere from 1-5 years. They have been told they could have a child placed with them within one year of their application providing there are no hitches. I know they expected it to be longer than that, they're very excited

As another poster said, probably worth enquiring into your local authority. There are certain hoops to jump through, BIL and SIL have to have experience with the age group they wish to adopt. SIL has this via her job but BIL does not and works Mon-Fri 9-5. They have managed to find something suitable but had a bit of a job because evenings are out for most 1-5 year olds so it had to be a weekend thing.