How long before I can froget about this??

timberflake

Ok, long story short! I split up with my now ex girlfriend on 28th April when I found out she'd been seeing someone else. She moved out on 29th April and I moved out on the 2nd May.

We had some money in her account to cover around 60% of what bills were outstanding, but to be fair I do owe some money. I think its £100, but she thinks its closer to £200. Anyway, we haven't spoken since 4th May, I'd asked for copy bills twice which I've never received, but have noticed she's started settling things up i.e. BT has been paid, the extra rent we owed has been settled etc.

My question is, how long do I need to wait before I can be confident she can't pursue me for cash?? I've been as fair as I can, I asked for copy bills and said that if she believed I owed more then put it in writing for me to review, but I've not heard a thing. In throery, could she leave it 6months - 1 year without contacting me, then hit me with a demand??

pinkshoes

We had some money in her account to cover around 60% of what bills were outstanding, but to be fair I do owe some money. I think its £100, but she thinks its closer to £200

So the outstanding bills were 60% paid with HER money, then now BT, rent etc... are being cleared, and this is her money too. AND you owe her at least£100.

I would just make an estimate of how much you think you owe her, then email her and ask how much you do owe her (bills and debt), then clear your debt, and agree with her that the financial side is settled, preferably in writing. The debt will never be settled until you do that, and so long as she has evidence that you owe her money, she could contact you at any time to ask for it.

Acc72

pinkshoes wrote: »

she could contact you at any time to ask for it.

Yes she could - but legally there is not a lot she could do.

If you want to be nice and settle things I would just ask her how much she thinks you owe and come to some agreement.

If you want to be awkward - don't !!

RadoJo

If the bills were in joint names, then it will be a matter of honour as to whether you pay up or not - if she has cleared the debt, then the companies concerned won't be interested in who owes what, and unless she can prove that you haven't paid your contribution then she will have a hard time pursuing this legally.

I suppose it depends on whether you want to continue to do the leg work - you could write to her, recorded delivery, giving her a time limit for sending through proof of your debts, and say that if you don't hear from her within that time you will consider the matter settled. It may not be legally binding, but it would be 'taking the high road' from a moral point of view without leaving yourself open to claims that you have made no effort to repay the debt. Considering she cheated on you, I think that would not only be a sensible course of action, but an admirable one - there are plenty of people out there who would use this as an opportunity to exact revenge...

timberflake

Thanks for the advice guys. Contacting her is not an option, I know it sounds childish, but I've gone 5 weeks without contacting her and I don't want to "give in" now. I guess I'll just have to sit and wait it out!

rizla01

Hey Timberflake.

sorry to hear BTW. Nasty situation.
Believe me, she would be even more upset if you were to contact her and turn the other cheek, so to say.

You ARE hurting and you are telling her as much, in acting (Understandably) as you are but if you were to show her that you didn't give a damn, SHE would be the one who's nose is put out of joint.

contact her, be matter of fact about the whole thing and to the point.
DO NOT ask how she is - Remember - YOU DONT GIVE A DAMN.

It'll solve your problem, to boot.:)

absolutebounder

You mean you are arguing over £100? Good god no wonder you split up> Just give her £200 and have a clean break of if you want to grab the alpha male spot give her £300. Its only a couple days wages. You never know she might tell one of her friends how generous you are and then you can get off with one of them

timberflake

absolutebounder wrote: »

You mean you are arguing over £100? Good god no wonder you split up> Just give her £200 and have a clean break of if you want to grab the alpha male spot give her £300. Its only a couple days wages. You never know she might tell one of her friends how generous you are and then you can get off with one of them

:rotfl: lol, love it! Its only £100, give her £200, or even £300, its only a couple of days wages!! I'd love your life, but sadly in mine, I havn't got £10, let alone £100!

absolutebounder

Trouble is being female she will pay off the bills and then let everyone in the whole world know how pathetic you are. she is probably PMing me as I write this
remember that hell hath no fury like a scorned woman. I would be doing overtime to wrong foot her otherwise you could be left an emotional cripple next time she sees you chatting anyone up

Kimitatsu

absolutebounder wrote: »

Trouble is being female she will pay off the bills and then let everyone in the whole world know how pathetic you are. she is probably PMing me as I write this
remember that hell hath no fury like a scorned woman. I would be doing overtime to wrong foot her otherwise you could be left an emotional cripple next time she sees you chatting anyone up

Ah but from a female perspective (not mine I hasten to add!) if you pay her MORE than you think you owe her will she take that as an admission that you feel guilty and it was all your fault? :rotfl:

Face it men will never understand women :eek: just pay her what you think you owe her, if she wont give you the copy bills there is nothing else you can do.

Move forward - dont look back :T

benood

She was seeing someone else behind your back and you're seriously thinking about giving her £100? If she has the temerity to ask tell her where to go.