Advice please -leaving husband

pmlindyloo

RAS wrote: »

This might be considered a contrived tenancy. She needs to charge the market rate whoever rents the house if the tenant is going to claim LHA.

What is the LHA rate for your area?

Actually she does not have to charge the market rent. What she needs to do is have a proper commercial arrangement - a proper tenancy agreement, be a proper landlord with all its responsibilities, be prepared to evict you if you do not pay your rent etc etc

The council will be looking at whether she has offered you the accommodation to take advantage of the benefit system. Has she rented the house before? That would help. A low rent may be looked at but is not on its own a reason to treat it as a contrived tenancy.

I must echo RAS's advice. You do need to seek professional advice about all this. If you do not seek your 'rights' regarding property then it may be seen as depriving yourself of money and they will treat it as your having it whether you do or not (called notional capital) for benefit purposes.

It is fine to be amicable about it all but if you think about it logically then if you are entitled to money from the sale of the house then you would have savings and not have to rely on the state for assistance (not being judgemental, just saying it as it is )

wheretoturnnow

Thanks guys. I'm not sure why she wants to avoid a written contract other than that we are friends.

When you say 'professional advice', do you mean a solicitor? Or is there somewhere else to go other than the CAB?

Am I better to move out first and then sort all this out, or should I do it all in advance? This is all very new to me and I am a bit confused by what to do for the best.

And Lindyloo, if I can do it without benefits then I will do - I would rather do so. I can't see how my husband can afford to give me any money at all at the moment - we don't really have enough being together, let alone apart. Being entitled to money from him is one thing but him being able to pay it is another... he has debts to pay for a start x

RAS

wheretoturnnow wrote: »

Thanks guys. I'm not sure why she wants to avoid a written contract other than that we are friends.

In which case I would be nervous; being a landlord means that she has to comply with her legal responsibilities and if if she fails to do so, your friendship may be tested further than you think.

wheretoturnnow wrote: »

When you say 'professional advice', do you mean a solicitor? Or is there somewhere else to go other than the CAB?

You can actually do the divorce yourselves; download the forms from the court web-site, complete them and file them as the courts. Cost £380 last time I looked.

However, when it comes to the financial settlement the court will aks you to take legal advice, particulalrly as there are children involved. And given the potentially incorrect advice you have already been given you need proper advice on the likely settlement you would get after the sale of the house and how to achieve a Clean Break (from a solicitor) and advice on the benefits to which you are entitled and any issues like deprivation of capital (from CAB or another benefits advisor).

wheretoturnnow wrote: »

And Lindyloo, if I can do it without benefits then I will do - I would rather do so. I can't see how my husband can afford to give me any money at all at the moment - we don't really have enough being together, let alone apart. Being entitled to money from him is one thing but him being able to pay it is another... he has debts to pay for a start x

Your ex is expected to continuing supporting the children and that take priority over re-payment of debts. He needs to speak to one of the debt charities like Stepchange ASAP if he is struggling.

zzzLazyDaisy

wheretoturnnow wrote: »

Thanks guys. I'm not sure why she wants to avoid a written contract other than that we are friends.

If she gives you a written contract, and you pay rent, she will have to declare this to HMRC and pay tax on the rent received. She will also have all the legal obligations of a landlord. If she does not need the money, and just wants to help you out in the short term, she may be happier for you to spend some time with her as her guests until you get sorted out? However, without a formal tenancy agreement and a commercial rent, you will not be able to claim LHA (housing benefit)

Am I better to move out first and then sort all this out, or should I do it all in advance? This is all very new to me and I am a bit confused by what to do for the best.

To be honest, this transition period is the most difficult, because there is so much that you cannot sort out until after you have left and are officially claiming as a 'single parent'. For that reason alone, a short period on temporary accommodation with your friend would give you a breathing space to sort out your finances and entitlements

And Lindyloo, if I can do it without benefits then I will do - I would rather do so. I can't see how my husband can afford to give me any money at all at the moment - we don't really have enough being together, let alone apart.

Sorry to sound harsh, but once you have left, his financial problems are not your concern. He is the father of your children and you have a joint responsibility to provide for them. Once you separate he should contribute financially to the needs of the two younger children as long as they remain in F/T education (the eldest is covered by CSA until her child benefit stops, when she goes to Uni, which I think is the last week in August, but someone will confirm this). You might be quite shocked how expensive it is raising children on your own.

Being entitled to money from him is one thing but him being able to pay it is another... he has debts to pay for a start x

The debts and money issues may be relevant in the divorce, but they are not relevant to a CSA claim. The fact is, that wherever your children live - whether it is with him or you - he should be contributing to the financial cost of caring for them. Any child maintenance you receive from him is ignored for tax credits, housing benefit/LHA etc

Just one final point - if you are separated from your husband and your eldest DD has her home address with you, she will be assessed for financial support on your income alone, so if you are going to leave, this may be something you need to think about.

wheretoturnnow

RAS - there is no doubt in my mind that she would not comply with her legal duties but I take your point. She is a hugely respected lady who has done very well in her career and does not 'need' the money from the rent. If I was not in the position of needing to claim LHA but 'just' other benefits would this be acceptable? As in, if she charged no rent at all?
Thank you for your debt advice too.

LazyDaisy - tremendously useful info, thank you. Regarding my eldest - we have already completed student loan forms based on us being together, so presumably need to redo. I assume she would only get more, not less? Not sure she can survive on the current amount they will lend her, let alone less...!

Thank you for all your help

zzzLazyDaisy

wheretoturnnow wrote: »

RAS - there is no doubt in my mind that she would not comply with her legal duties but I take your point. She is a hugely respected lady who has done very well in her career and does not 'need' the money from the rent. If I was not in the position of needing to claim LHA but 'just' other benefits would this be acceptable? As in, if she charged no rent at all?
Thank you for your debt advice too.

If you are separated from your husband and you and your children are living with your friend, and receiving post at her address, then you can claim benefits, tax credits etc at that address. It is just that you can't claim LHA/housing benefit in that situation.


LazyDaisy - tremendously useful info, thank you. Regarding my eldest - we have already completed student loan forms based on us being together, so presumably need to redo. I assume she would only get more, not less? Not sure she can survive on the current amount they will lend her, let alone less...!

No, she won't get any less. But you do need to review the forms as if/when she lives with you as a single parent, she will have access to other support, for example depending on your income, she may get her tuition fees paid, and she may be entitled to a bursary from the university. All I can say is that when my cousin left her high earning ex, her children became entitled to extra payments because she was an low earning single parent, but I don't know the full details.

I suggest that you post this part of your query on the student board, as they will be able to give you focussed advice about what your DD will be entitled to.

Thank you for all your help

Hope this helps

wheretoturnnow

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

Hope this helps

Tremendously, thank you x

RAS

DD need to contact SFE urgently and ask for a re-calculation based on the change in family circumstances.

wheretoturnnow

RAS wrote: »

DD need to contact SFE urgently and ask for a re-calculation based on the change in family circumstances.

I will make sure I do so as soon as she knows - we decided not to tell them until the youngest has finished school for the summer - which is tomorrow.

That's a conversation I am dreading having :sad: