My relationship is over.

DUTR

Guest101 wrote: »

And how much o you think it costs to raise a child.

Average wage is around 1500 a month, less in some areas.

That's £225 a month, the other parent will be paying that, and more for rent, bills, food etc.

Or does your child not need to eat, drink , have a roof over their head?

I've not missed or ignored anything, i've provided the minimum legally required payment. and suggested that morally absent parents (for whatever reason) should provide more.

If the non resident parent actually cares for the child 3 nights a week, then, that is part of the extra im talking about.

Rent and bills do not come into it, where were they living before on the streets? No, It is up to them to provide for themself and if they cannot afford offspring then let the NRP become the PWC, it's not a career, I know what it can cost, and as I said it is not just up to one party to fund it all.

Guest101

DUTR wrote: »

Rent and bills do not come into it, where were they living before on the streets? No, It is up to them to provide for themself and if they cannot afford offspring then let the NRP become the PWC, it's not a career, I know what it can cost, and as I said it is not just up to one party to fund it all.

Of course they come into it, rent alone is usual more thn the absent prents pays.

Ye both should pay for the child

Your morals are obviously different to mine. As I said, I would want the best for my kids, maybe you dont feel the same way

marisco_2

I think there needs to be a lot of open and honest discussion, between the PWC and NRP to establish how they raise their children between them, practically and financially. The NRP is not reponsible for the PWC, but you would hope that most would want to make an equal contirbution to raising their own child. I agree that any shared care would be a part of that.

RAS

Bridesmaid.

Speak to the lawyer NOW about the house purchase and tell them what has happened.

Check the value of your local housing allowance (LHA) for a 2 bedroom property, you can only get help with the rent up to that amount.

Whose name(s) are on the current rental agreement? Yours, his, both? Fixed term or periodic tenancy? England, Wales, Scotland?

The answer to these help define whose responsible for what.

Go to wwwturn2us.org.uk for advice on claiming benefits.

If you have been working part-time to provide child care and are married, you may be able to get short-term additional maintenance (until Dd starts school possibly).

DUTR

Guest101 wrote: »

Of course they come into it, rent alone is usual more thn the absent prents pays.

Ye both should pay for the child

Your morals are obviously different to mine. As I said, I would want the best for my kids, maybe you dont feel the same way

Yes we agree there, the PWC is an adult and following a hierachy of needs should already be providing food warmth and shelter for themselves, this is often the case before a relationship even starts.
Providing the best for your kids as you wish is up to you, but if you want the bragging rights then you too have to work for it, as said it is morally wrong to expect somebody else to magic the money.
In some circumstances I see, rent...paid for by the state, council tax....paid for by the state.....less than full time hours ......paid for by the state....... then of course there are the other handouts and all this for 16 hours per week? When you work it out, equivalent to a gross of over £30k per annum, then they have the cheek to say they are not getting enough?
I trust your children are off to private education in future, as you eagerly want the best for your children and nothing less is acceptable.

But as the OP is probably aware, when a relationship is made or breaks down, sacrifices have to be made by both parties.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

DUTR wrote: »

Rent and bills do not come into it, where were they living before on the streets? No, It is up to them to provide for themself and if they cannot afford offspring then let the NRP become the PWC, it's not a career, I know what it can cost, and as I said it is not just up to one party to fund it all.

And then that parent would be expected to contribute 15% of their takehome. And more if they see it in terms of giving their child the best they can, rather than resenting every penny.


Been on both sides of the debate here myself. And from both perspectives (and from dating) there is little more unattractive than a person who objects to paying as much as they can afford for their kid.

neverdespairgirl

OH and I live together, with our son, but if we separated, I wouldn't regard 15% of his income as enough - I'd be spending a lot more than that of mine. I'm sure OH, if we did split, would feel the same.

Guest101

DUTR wrote: »

Yes we agree there, the PWC is an adult and following a hierachy of needs should already be providing food warmth and shelter for themselves, this is often the case before a relationship even starts.
Providing the best for your kids as you wish is up to you, but if you want the bragging rights then you too have to work for it, as said it is morally wrong to expect somebody else to magic the money.
In some circumstances I see, rent...paid for by the state, council tax....paid for by the state.....less than full time hours ......paid for by the state....... then of course there are the other handouts and all this for 16 hours per week? When you work it out, equivalent to a gross of over £30k per annum, then they have the cheek to say they are not getting enough?
I trust your children are off to private education in future, as you eagerly want the best for your children and nothing less is acceptable.

But as the OP is probably aware, when a relationship is made or breaks down, sacrifices have to be made by both parties.

No my children are not off to private education, my views on it are that it does not provide the best practical start in life for children.

Wanting the best for children should be the priority of every parent. And if me and my partner split uo, i would be non-resident, and would provide everything i have said.

Mojisola

Guest101 wrote: »

And if me and my partner split uo, i would be non-resident, and would provide everything i have said.

If all break-ups were unemotional and the people involved were reasonable, both parents would ideally put the children first.

More often, there is a lot of pain and anger and resentment and best intentions go out the window. You don't have to look through many posts on here to find a PWC upset that the NRP is paying their 15% and then enjoying a lavish lifestyle on the rest of their income or a NRP complaining because the PWC is asking for more money even though she/he is living off a larger income than the NPR.

Guest101

Mojisola wrote: »

If all break-ups were unemotional and the people involved were reasonable, both parents would ideally put the children first.

More often, there is a lot of pain and anger and resentment and best intentions go out the window. You don't have to look through many posts on here to find a PWC upset that the NRP is paying their 15% and then enjoying a lavish lifestyle on the rest of their income or a NRP complaining because the PWC is asking for more money even though she/he is living off a larger income than the NPR.

I know what your saying, i take solace that many more people are in the position, than post here. so hopefully some take the same position a me.