My relationship is over.

Bridesmaid83

My partner and I have just amicably decided to call it a day after 7 years. We're not married but we do have a 3 year old daughter. It's been agreed she'll stay with me for the majority of the time but I know I will struggle with rent wherever I move to as I only work part time to save money on childcare.

Is there something available to me? I don't currently qualify for Tax Credits (BF earned too much) but now that i'm single will I be eligible for anything? I don't think the bf will help contribute very much.

It's a terrible situation to be in, but would you think that in the long run we'll all be better off? we've both been unhappy for some time and he has trust issues with me, i'd prefer someone to treat me better etc.

Also, we were actually in the process of buying a house (don't ask me why!) we are about halfway through the process (paid around £400 in total to solicitors and mortgage provider) would it be easy for us to back out now or will the solicitors still require full payment? I know it will mess people around a bit and it's going to be painful at first but I know it will pay off in the long run and our daughter will be much better off.

Has anyone else been through this sort of situation?

Thanks for reading.

Guest101

House, you can back out whenever you want. as long as contract havent been exchanged (i doubt they have from what youve said)

As for benefits: certainly you'll be eligible for child benefit, child tax credit / working tax credit, possibly council tx benefit, as well as others - check your local cab office, or use the online calculator tool.

Your ex must provide 15% of his takehome pay in child support (i would encourage any father to provide more - if the money is to be spent on the child.) - not to be harsh on you, but you are no longer his responsibility, you will have to make your own way. A good middle ground would be - 15% + shopping, clothes, books, toys etc.

From your end, I would suggest you allow plenty of contact, amicable is best in cases like these.

Courts could easily grant contact, which you'd have to stick to. This gives you flexibility, and your child sees 2 happy parents, rather than 2 miserable ones.

paulineb_2

You could apply for CTC yes. Also, Im sure the stat is that some people must pay 15 per cent, but some fathers don't and it can take the CSA a year or more to do anything about it, one of my friends is in that situation, her ex partner is wealthy and hes paying a pittance and the CSA have not been helpful to her, at all.

But I agree, try and keep things on a civil footing.

paulineb_2

I meant working tax credit, sorry.

DUTR

Guest101 wrote: »

House, you can back out whenever you want. as long as contract havent been exchanged (i doubt they have from what youve said)

As for benefits: certainly you'll be eligible for child benefit, child tax credit / working tax credit, possibly council tx benefit, as well as others - check your local cab office, or use the online calculator tool.

Your ex must provide 15% of his takehome pay in child support (i would encourage any father to provide more - if the money is to be spent on the child.) - not to be harsh on you, but you are no longer his responsibility, you will have to make your own way. A good middle ground would be - 15% + shopping, clothes, books, toys etc.

From your end, I would suggest you allow plenty of contact, amicable is best in cases like these.

Courts could easily grant contact, which you'd have to stick to. This gives you flexibility, and your child sees 2 happy parents, rather than 2 miserable ones.

What % do you suggest? As money cannot be magic'd :eek:

Guest101

DUTR wrote: »

What % do you suggest? As money cannot be magic'd :eek:

15% standard + toys, shopping, clothes.

OP said the ex earnt enough to not get any tax credits, so will not be short a few extra quid.

It doesn't have to be every month, or anything. But clearly christmas doesnt pay for itself, neither do birthday parties.

DUTR

Guest101 wrote: »

15% standard + toys, shopping, clothes.

OP said the ex earnt enough to not get any tax credits, so will not be short a few extra quid.

It doesn't have to be every month, or anything. But clearly christmas doesnt pay for itself, neither do birthday parties.

And that is what the 15% is for, the extra household bills is minimal, as an adult you would already be housing oneself. 15% from the NRP and 15% from the PWC is surely enough is it not? If it isn't why doesn't the PWC magic the extra £££s after all, you are making it sound like money just grows like weeds.

Lunar_Eclipse

DUTR wrote: »

And that is what the 15% is for, the extra household bills is minimal, as an adult you would already be housing oneself. 15% from the NRP and 15% from the PWC is surely enough is it not? If it isn't why doesn't the PWC magic the extra £££s after all, you are making it sound like money just grows like weeds.

I don't think that is point Guest is trying to make.

The CSA figure of 15% is a recommendation that is meant to be affordable to everyone, ie a minimum payment level. Financial settlements done without CSA involvement look at income & lifestyle expenses instead of a fixed percentage and thus these maintenance payments can be (much) higher. The goal is fairness.

Good luck OP.

Guest101

DUTR wrote: »

And that is what the 15% is for, the extra household bills is minimal, as an adult you would already be housing oneself. 15% from the NRP and 15% from the PWC is surely enough is it not? If it isn't why doesn't the PWC magic the extra £££s after all, you are making it sound like money just grows like weeds.

As Lunar explained, the 15% is a minimal payment. If you want your kids to have the minimum, pay 15%. Personally I want my kids to have the best, and would pay as much as I could.

Life's too short to mess my kids about.

DUTR

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I don't think that is point Guest is trying to make.

The CSA figure of 15% is a recommendation that is meant to be affordable to everyone, ie a minimum payment level. Financial settlements done without CSA involvement look at income & lifestyle expenses instead of a fixed percentage and thus these maintenance payments can be (much) higher. The goal is fairness.

Good luck OP.

And can be much less, the point you ptobably both miss or choose to ignore, is that the rate is set and for some whatever is contributed is not going to be enough, it is up to two people to provide the finances not just one and more so not just the none resident party.

Guest101

DUTR wrote: »

And can be much less, the point you ptobably both miss or choose to ignore, is that the rate is set and for some whatever is contributed is not going to be enough, it is up to two people to provide the finances not just one and more so not just the none resident party.

And how much o you think it costs to raise a child.

Average wage is around 1500 a month, less in some areas.

That's £225 a month, the other parent will be paying that, and more for rent, bills, food etc.

Or does your child not need to eat, drink , have a roof over their head?

I've not missed or ignored anything, i've provided the minimum legally required payment. and suggested that morally absent parents (for whatever reason) should provide more.

If the non resident parent actually cares for the child 3 nights a week, then, that is part of the extra im talking about.