The husband of an acquaintance has died. What's appropriate?

ckerrd

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Perhaps I put it a bit strongly in saying "invited"; I think that it's a good idea to check that outsiders are welcome, particularly if you didn't know the deceased. I'd certainly keep a low profile if you go as you don't seem to be a close family friend. Some people would welcome as many people as possible, others would find that difficult. Be sensitive to her wishes.

Very true. There are too many professional mourners!

My grandfather was like that, kept him in ham sandwiches for years.

belfastgirl23

If your friend/acquaintance let you know about the death then I think it's okay to assume you'll be welcome at the funeral. Bringing or sending a card is also a good idea. Beyond that I wouldn't bring or do anything at the minute, she'll be inundated, but plan to do something down the line (food or a cake especially). The offer to help with the children I think would also be very important to her, especially if she felt she wouldn't be putting you too far out of your way (eg you were picking up your own kids anyway) but I think would need reiterated again later.

Doesn't bear thinking about does it?

winnie81

I would take a card and a dish of something to eat for her and kids like a casserole or something. When my dad died the last thing I wanted to do was shop, cook take kids where they needed to go etc

Let her know you can be there for her if you can and offer as much help as you can give

Claire x

LopezLopez

Thank you all for your replies. I went over to her house today and brought a sympathy card offering help, support, my numbers, etc. It was desperately sad talking to her and hearing that her otherwise healthy young husband had died of strep throat. Unbelievable. I will go to the funeral to show my respects but will not impose on the family if threre's anything organised for afterwards. Thanks again everyone who's replied.